When you're in a meeting and school calls

[Anonymous]

OP handled the matter correctly. The situation was not urgent and could be discussed at another time. If the situation was reversed and parent called counselor during the middle of the day wanting to talk, I can guarantee it wouldn't be a "good time".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always take the call when I see the school number. Could be any number of reasons why they are calling. But today, I was in an multi hour meeting this morning and the guidance counselor called. My son was having a rough day and she wanted to discuss it. I told her I was in a meeting and I could not discuss this with her now. I told her if he was being disruptive I would leave work and come get him or I would call her back at the end of the day. She was put off by my unwillingness to discuss his behavior at the moment.

I cut her off after 10 min of listening to her. It took her that long to tell me that he was hiding under a table and wouldn't come out and that it started when he didn't want to participate in a drawing activity. What should I have said to her?

I would tell her to do her job as the guidance counselor and figure out what he is upset with and get him out from under the table. You dealt with it. If it is an emergency you will leave now and get him or call her back after your meeting is over. That sounds reasonable. What does her going on for 10 minutes think she is helping? Get under the table with him and talk to him. Or, ask him if he'd like to leave with her for a few minutes to talk about what is going on. Its drawing, really...

Wow. I think the parent needs to do THEIR job as a parent. Child comes first. Work comes second. If you can't handle both, don't take on a job.

+1,000,000

Do you think they just call every time someone is under the table? He was having issues. He was disruptive. This is school. Not childcare. Maybe if you spent less time worrying about meetings and help your child, he wouldn't be the one with the issues.

[Anonymous]

I don't take my phone into meetings. My meetings tend to be an hour. I just call them (or any one else) back. They called about my child feeling bad but not when she had a broken arm so my level of anxiety is pretty low.

[Anonymous]

Am I having major déjà vu? I swear I remember a post from a couple of years ago about a guidance counselor that insisted on discussing a situation with a mom who was in the middle of a meeting and a kid under the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Justice Ginsburg said that if you tell the school to call the kid's father at work, they will suddenly call less often and only for true emergencies. She swore it worked like a charm! Give it a try!

Your response was good; hers was not.

LOL, mom my always had the school call dad and if there was an issue he'd get us usually as he had more flexibility. My husband cannot have his cell phone at work so good luck getting him.

Does he work in a SCIF? I am sure he has a landline phone. Don't let him off the hook so easily. What would he do if he were a single dad?

Love RBG!!!

OP, here is what I don't get. What was the guidance counselor hoping to accomplish in this call that (1) could be accomplished in a phone call and (2) somehow could not be accomplished in 10 minutes? If she was not asking you to pick up your kid, what exactly was she asking you to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always take the call when I see the school number. Could be any number of reasons why they are calling. But today, I was in an multi hour meeting this morning and the guidance counselor called. My son was having a rough day and she wanted to discuss it. I told her I was in a meeting and I could not discuss this with her now. I told her if he was being disruptive I would leave work and come get him or I would call her back at the end of the day. She was put off by my unwillingness to discuss his behavior at the moment.

I cut her off after 10 min of listening to her. It took her that long to tell me that he was hiding under a table and wouldn't come out and that it started when he didn't want to participate in a drawing activity. What should I have said to her?

I would tell her to do her job as the guidance counselor and figure out what he is upset with and get him out from under the table. You dealt with it. If it is an emergency you will leave now and get him or call her back after your meeting is over. That sounds reasonable. What does her going on for 10 minutes think she is helping? Get under the table with him and talk to him. Or, ask him if he'd like to leave with her for a few minutes to talk about what is going on. Its drawing, really...

Wow. I think the parent needs to do THEIR job as a parent. Child comes first. Work comes second. If you can't handle both, don't take on a job.

+1,000,000

Do you think they just call every time someone is under the table? He was having issues. He was disruptive. This is school. Not childcare. Maybe if you spent less time worrying about meetings and help your child, he wouldn't be the one with the issues.

The school has a part in this as well. OP offered to get the child. The school can't have it both ways. Either it is an emergency and they should have had her pick up her kid or it was not an emergency and could be discussed later. It can't be both.

[Anonymous]

How old is the kid?

Hiding Under a table?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always take the call when I see the school number. Could be any number of reasons why they are calling. But today, I was in an multi hour meeting this morning and the guidance counselor called. My son was having a rough day and she wanted to discuss it. I told her I was in a meeting and I could not discuss this with her now. I told her if he was being disruptive I would leave work and come get him or I would call her back at the end of the day. She was put off by my unwillingness to discuss his behavior at the moment.

I cut her off after 10 min of listening to her. It took her that long to tell me that he was hiding under a table and wouldn't come out and that it started when he didn't want to participate in a drawing activity. What should I have said to her?

I would tell her to do her job as the guidance counselor and figure out what he is upset with and get him out from under the table. You dealt with it. If it is an emergency you will leave now and get him or call her back after your meeting is over. That sounds reasonable. What does her going on for 10 minutes think she is helping? Get under the table with him and talk to him. Or, ask him if he'd like to leave with her for a few minutes to talk about what is going on. Its drawing, really...

Wow. I think the parent needs to do THEIR job as a parent. Child comes first. Work comes second. If you can't handle both, don't take on a job.

+1,000,000

Do you think they just call every time someone is under the table? He was having issues. He was disruptive. This is school. Not childcare. Maybe if you spent less time worrying about meetings and help your child, he wouldn't be the one with the issues.

There we go again, blaming the parent for everything!
What nasty pieces of work you two are!

1. A parent might need a paying job to care for her child.

2. We all wish you a behaviorally, emotionally or otherwise special needs child that you can cry about, agonize over, lose your sleep over, break your marriage over, while spending your retirement in therapies and treatments, while everyone else looks at you nastily and says it's all YOUR fault.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, pp. not OP, but I was barely able to breathe reading that post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Justice Ginsburg said that if you tell the school to call the kid's father at work, they will suddenly call less often and only for true emergencies. She swore it worked like a charm! Give it a try!

Your response was good; hers was not.

My kid's school always calls DH instead of me since they know I'm a teacher and don't have cell phone service in the building. He has a lot of job flexibility and has his phone attached to him at all times.

[Anonymous]

My sons go to an all boys school so their usually call dad first... He always takes the call no matter how trivial.

When they call me, I take the call no matter how trivial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Justice Ginsburg said that if you tell the school to call the kid's father at work, they will suddenly call less often and only for true emergencies. She swore it worked like a charm! Give it a try!

Your response was good; hers was not.

Fortunately my school is smarter than that. I am a dad and I am the primary contact for my kids at school. My wife is visually impaired and does not drive. She primarily teleworks from home and really can only get to the school by taxi in extreme emergencies. I handle all pickup, dropoff and am the primary contact for the school.

I am very appreciative that the preschools and schools my children have been in have always had the courtesy to start with "Hi, this is X at Y school. There isn't a problem" when there isn't an urgent problem. If they don't say this, I can step in when I get a chance and say "Excuse me, I'm in a meeting, can I call back in Z minutes?" If there is a problem, I take the call. If there isn't and I can take the call I do. But it helps immensely. If your school does not do this, you can ask the school to do something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, pp. not OP, but I was barely able to breathe reading that post.

Seriously, asshats. Perhaps this is normal for this child. We have no idea, and it's not relevant to the question. School was not asking OP to pick up the kid, the counselor was calling to discuss the child's behavior. That can happen in a scheduled meeting at everyone's convenience. Being a parent doesn't mean that you have to be available constantly for this type of random crap. You are either ignorant or just wanted to start a fight. Either way, go away.

[Anonymous]

I am RBG-- at least in spirit. DH is the designated first call person for just this reason (and because he teleworks more than I do, and is more likely to be home if a sick child needs to be picked up). It really did cut inane school calls by 75%.

But if I had gotten this call, about 7 seconds in, I definately would have said the following: so DC is not sick/dead? Does a parent need to come and pick DC up? No? Well, I can tell we need to speak privately, and unfortunately I am in a very public place right now. When would be a good time to return your call? Or would it be easier for you to call DH? He's teleworking today, and should have privacy to talk. (May lightening or DH not strike me dead). Repeat as needed.

[Anonymous]

I let it go to voice mail. I have the vm to text service. If need be, I call back immediately.