Boyfriend cheated in the past going to business lunch with girl?
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Anonymous
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Oh, so he's blaming his own actions on you and his friends. Nice.
Dump this jerk. |
Anonymous
| Yes he is a loser and i told him to leave me alone plenty of times and i hung up on him about a thousand times but he keeps on coming back to me! I know of couples who had boyfriends or husbands like him and they have been together decades and since we have been together more than 3 years I worry I will be making a mistake by not giving him a chance. |
Anonymous
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With the disclaimer that I think when you have had a long, great relationship and kids are involved you should try to work through infidelity.....
He is only your boyfriend? And he was rampantly cheating during the supposed honeymoon phase? Not to say he might be a great person and one day mature into a faithful man, but why bother trying to salvage this? I mean, for both your sakes, just move on. |
Anonymous
+1 To thew OP: The more I read this thread the more I saw a whiny fool being (metaphorically) shat on over and over by a pathological cheater. Sure the situation sucks and you are distressed and dont trust him. But it seem like you have some issue here. Ditch the ahole, then get a spine and some self-respect! |
Anonymous
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1) He's bad news
2) The business dinner is not a problem. Let it go. You're expecting him to act like a married man when he's not. He kept you in his life for convenience while he acted like a single guy. For a year and a half. That's a huge problem. Huge. 3) Have you done any therapy op? I feel like you need to figure out why you want to make this relationship work after he acted so disrespectfully towards you for so long. He has the mindset of a cheater. |
Anonymous
1) Yes, he is very selfish. 2) Yes it's a huge problem and I did not accept to work things out with him right away but said I was going to date other people which I did for a few months and met some great guys but he kept trying to get back in my life by sending emails, calling, and sending phone logs to prove he only called me. 3) I've never done therapy. Emotionally, I feel depleted. He had my trust which for me isn't easy to give to anyone. I don't lack self respect at all because I know I can do better than him but I am giving him a chance because I have seen couples work it out despite cheating. Relative was a serial cheater but his relationship is still going at 40 yrs! |
Anonymous
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But he's not just a cheater, he's also a liar and was content looking for other women while allowing you to think you were in a committed relationship and basically wasting your time and your heart. Not out for your best interest, only his own. And he blamed you. What a scumbag.
How to trust him? You can't - and you shouldn't. If you are to be with him, you have to accept the relationship for what it is and turn a blind eye - that's probably what your relative did, quite frankly. There's no way to rebuild trust after this. |
Anonymous
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Also, all of these people who know who are/were cheaters but remained in long relationships ... That doesn't mean they stopped cheating or that the relationships are good. Just take a look around DCUM. There are LOTS of people in miserable relationships. Let this guy go. Just because he contacted yo ua bunch doesn't mean he deserves anything.
Honestly, I think you liked the attention he showed you when he was trying to get back together with you, and you might also like the drama of your relationship not. These are immature reactions. Move on. |
Anonymous
Right, and he cheated repeatedly over 40 years. And if his wife was cool with it, then great! There are lots of successful relationships where people have understandings. Your boyfriend is not likely to be faithful, so instead of being suspicious, just have an open relationship so you can both ethically date others. |
Anonymous
| OP you're not married and have no kids. I've BTDT except with 2 young children. If I was in your shoes I'd cut and run NOW. He's not going to change. Or maybe he will, for 6 months. You'll always be looking behind your shoulder. Wondering who he's texting. It's not worth it. You don't have much to lose, just leave. |
Anonymous
| How old are you, OP? How old is he? |
Anonymous
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Get out now. This is going nowhere fast. 3 years together and 1/2 of it he was cheating and dating other people?! No freaking way. No. Just no. Marriage is LONG. If he can't make it a few measly years without searching for a new woman, RUN FOR THE HILLS.
When people show you who they are, believe them. He's shown you who he is, a cheater. Now it's your move. |
Anonymous
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2 years is NOT a long term relationship
cheaters stop cheating with lots of therapy (which he obviously has not done) cut and run |
Anonymous
| Here is the problem. You will never trust him because he cheated in the past. You can't control him. He will need to be in contact with other women because he is a human being. It is not your fault but he damaged the relationship and now you have insecurities for good reason. You are worried because you have been hurt and don't want to be hurt in the future. People who are married with kids have trouble working through this break of trust. He is only a boyfriend and there is a very high chance he will cheat again. Each time he does it changes you into an angry, bitter, insecure person. Don't let him do this to you. Find a good guy who brings out the best in you. I dated a cheated before I got married to a good guy. The cheater never changed. |
Anonymous
| Don't speak to him ever again. Move on. And don't accept being treated this way by the next guy. |