Boyfriend cheated in the past going to business lunch with girl?

[Anonymous]

I feel like he shouldn't because we are "trying" to work things out because of his cheating. He went on 15 dates in 18 months in the past year. He says he is going to a business lunch with a female lawyer to help him build clientele during happy hour because no other time was available. What do you think? He also says that he could have easily kept it a secret and not told me but chose to because he wants me to trust him and that the dinner is professional.

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand what's going on. He dated? Slept with? 15 other women over than past 18 months?

Just break up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand what's going on. He dated? Slept with? 15 other women over than past 18 months?

Just break up.

He didn't sleep with them but did hook up with a few in other ways. He begged for another chance so I gave it to him but it has not been going well. I know marriages and relationships that survived cheating and the couples are doing fine and have been together decades so I gave him another chance. If he is trying to work things out with me though I feel like this happy hour lunch with a female is not very appropriate.

[Anonymous]

happy hour *dinner*

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend is going to have to have business contacts with women, social contacts with women, and ordinary everyday contacts with women. He's going to come into contact with women at work, at the grocery store, while running errands, at restaurants, on the street, picking up dry cleaning, at the park, working out.

OP, if you don't trust him, end the relationship. You can't control him and you can't stop him from cheating by limiting his contacts with women. This isn't going to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend is going to have to have business contacts with women, social contacts with women, and ordinary everyday contacts with women. He's going to come into contact with women at work, at the grocery store, while running errands, at restaurants, on the street, picking up dry cleaning, at the park, working out.

OP, if you don't trust him, end the relationship. You can't control him and you can't stop him from cheating by limiting his contacts with women. This isn't going to work.

I don't mind that he meeting someone or has business contacts that are women. In his line of work he works with 90 percent women so I have been as trusting as I could be (not easy to win my trust) especially after the cheating. I have never been in this type of situation but I do think he can be faithful but I just can't trust him right away because we are still working on that. I just want the opinion of others if it is appropriate of him to go on a business dinner for a happy hour with a woman if he says he wants to work things out between us?

[Anonymous]

Was it 15 different women that he had dates with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend is going to have to have business contacts with women, social contacts with women, and ordinary everyday contacts with women. He's going to come into contact with women at work, at the grocery store, while running errands, at restaurants, on the street, picking up dry cleaning, at the park, working out.

OP, if you don't trust him, end the relationship. You can't control him and you can't stop him from cheating by limiting his contacts with women. This isn't going to work.

I don't mind that he meeting someone or has business contacts that are women. In his line of work he works with 90 percent women so I have been as trusting as I could be (not easy to win my trust) especially after the cheating. I have never been in this type of situation but I do think he can be faithful but I just can't trust him right away because we are still working on that. I just want the opinion of others if it is appropriate of him to go on a business dinner for a happy hour with a woman if he says he wants to work things out between us?

There's no history between them? Then yes, if it's business.

Personally, I think you should cut and run. Too much drama.

[Anonymous]

So basically, nearly every month you were together he was in a date with someone else? Different women or the same woman? And how did you find out?

This does not bode well - because he seems to be of the serial cheater variety. What reasons did he give you for his cheating? If it's happening now when you're still in the honeymoon stage, without the stressors of marriage and children then seriously...he is not a trustworthy guy.

[Anonymous]

There is a big difference between having a business lunch with a female colleague and "hooking up" with a female.

However....being in a committed relationship and choosing to "hook up" with other women 15 times within the past 1 1/2 doesn't "just happen". Your boyfriend was actively seeking other women to fool around with.

Now he wants you to blindly trust him and you are finding that hard to do. Honestly, I can't blame you. I agree that I would cut and run.

[Anonymous]

What are you doing with a guy like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it 15 different women that he had dates with?

As far as I know he went on 15 dates with women. He says he couldn't be sure of the number of women he dated but he says that he dated one for about a week.

[Anonymous]

Go back to the nanny forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was it 15 different women that he had dates with?

As far as I know he went on 15 dates with women. He says he couldn't be sure of the number of women he dated but he says that he dated one for about a week.

You are being a fool. Dump this loser and find someone who doesn't treat you like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So basically, nearly every month you were together he was in a date with someone else? Different women or the same woman? And how did you find out?

This does not bode well - because he seems to be of the serial cheater variety. What reasons did he give you for his cheating? If it's happening now when you're still in the honeymoon stage, without the stressors of marriage and children then seriously...he is not a trustworthy guy.

He was faithful for the first 1.5 years we were together then he confessed he wasn't for the 18 months after that. I felt we had a strong emotional bond/connection for the first 1.5 yrs but I did feel a disconnect after that (there was less attention) but what worries me is that he said he loved me everyday while he was cheating and looking for women. If the emotional bond I thought we had wasn't enough for him I'm not sure what is. He says he looked for women when he felt I wasn't communicating with him and he thought I was lying to him about certain things when I was not because he went on the advice of what his friends (who didn't like me) told him. All this he says caused him to not trust me. I found out through a friend who saw him on a dating app!