Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should send out a note clarifying. Don't even feel bad about it. I thought Evite gave you the option of letting guests add to their numbers or not. It could be that having that option made people think they could bring extra kids. I would think that if it was a venue that limited numbers, people would automatically know not to bring tagalongs. Do not pay $30 per extra uninvited guest. That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned for next time. Always be direct in the initial invite.

I think your likely culprit is mixing family friends and school friends. Family friends have always brought the whole gang. They start RSVPing for the whole family when they see no other instructions. Others see this and follow suit.

yep - this is likely what happened!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.

I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.

What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?

In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.

curious about this - if a parent offers to pay the cost of the extra sibling, is that fine?

No.

[Anonymous]

like the idea of emailing and saying "not sure I can take siblings since the party rooms has a limit of 20- I'll let you know as soon the rvps are in (would really love to have XXsibling celebrate with us). If we can't squeeze in xxsibling, you can just can drop off XX"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: like the idea of emailing and saying "not sure I can take siblings since the party rooms has a limit of 20- I'll let you know as soon the rvps are in (would really love to have XXsibling celebrate with us). If we can't squeeze in xxsibling, you can just can drop off XX"

But that's pretty lame - just drags it out.

[Anonymous]

I had this happen with my 12 year old's birthday last Fall. Luckily it was only one family, so I e-mailed directly and said Unfortunately we could not accommodate siblings as we were likely going to hit the max through classmates and teammates alone, and we hoped ____________ (my kid's classmate) could still come.

Parent responded, thank you and the classmate attended. If you're getting multiple, then amend your Evite with similar wording and resend. For those that don't amend their RSVP within a few days, reach out directly and be up front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.

I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.

What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?

In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.

curious about this - if a parent offers to pay the cost of the extra sibling, is that fine?

No - it is tacky. A lot of times it isn't about cost. Or if it is, one kid may bump you up to the next party level - instead of being $15, it may be $100. At my local Pump it Up, a party with 15 kids or less is $X. A party with 16 to 25 kids is $X+100. There is no gracious way to say that your kid is #16 and you need to pony up $100. Or, your extra kid isn't drop off age - then that means you want/need to stay, too.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's not ok. But to consider the other side, I recently took my kid to a bounce party far out in the suburbs, in an unfamiliar area, and didn't have a great idea of where to go with the younger sibling. It wasn't the logistic of dropping off that was tricky, but what to do in the meantime with other kid/s and it being too far to go and come back. If I'd realized how far out it was and thought it all through, I'd have looked up somewhere to hang out during the party. We ended up staying (hopefully not the subject of a DCUM thread!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned for next time. Always be direct in the initial invite.

I think your likely culprit is mixing family friends and school friends. Family friends have always brought the whole gang. They start RSVPing for the whole family when they see no other instructions. Others see this and follow suit.

yep - this is likely what happened!

Yup. This. Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it's not ok. But to consider the other side, I recently took my kid to a bounce party far out in the suburbs, in an unfamiliar area, and didn't have a great idea of where to go with the younger sibling. It wasn't the logistic of dropping off that was tricky, but what to do in the meantime with other kid/s and it being too far to go and come back. If I'd realized how far out it was and thought it all through, I'd have looked up somewhere to hang out during the party. We ended up staying (hopefully not the subject of a DCUM thread!).

OP here. Party venue is 15 min from our house, not in the middle of nowhere. Parents should be able to go to the grocery store, home, Target, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it's not ok. But to consider the other side, I recently took my kid to a bounce party far out in the suburbs, in an unfamiliar area, and didn't have a great idea of where to go with the younger sibling. It wasn't the logistic of dropping off that was tricky, but what to do in the meantime with other kid/s and it being too far to go and come back. If I'd realized how far out it was and thought it all through, I'd have looked up somewhere to hang out during the party. We ended up staying (hopefully not the subject of a DCUM thread!).

So decline. Your ability to occupy your kid for 2 hours isn't the host's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: like the idea of emailing and saying "not sure I can take siblings since the party rooms has a limit of 20- I'll let you know as soon the rvps are in (would really love to have XXsibling celebrate with us). If we can't squeeze in xxsibling, you can just can drop off XX"

OP here. I just spoke to the venue. Our party is for 20 kids. We can add an extra 4 kids for a cost for an absolute max of 24. It looks like we will get to that absolute max. Once we hit that number, I will reach out to parents individually and say we hit our max headcount and parents are welcome to drop off.

[Anonymous]

Just send another email through Evite with a clarification. Plenty of PPs have given good examples of what to write.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just send another email through Evite with a clarification. Plenty of PPs have given good examples of what to write.

I actually would not mind siblings as long as I don't go over my 24. I thought about it and it's fine if I have to spend another ~150. Lesson learned.

I have 2 children and appreciate when I can bring both kids. Problem is everyone has 1-2 siblings. I cannot accommodate all of them. I invited 18 kids plus my 2 kids for a total of 20. Right now I have 18 kids and half the kids did not yet RSVP. If the remaining ~10 kids RSVP yes, I will be 4 over. If the remaining 10 kids all bring a sibling, I will be 14 over. I am sure not everyone will RSVP yes so hopefully I don't have to have the awkward conversation with too many people.

[Anonymous]

I never add a sibling to my acceptance unless the party invite says so. Other people adding siblings isn't a sign that you can just go ahead and do it!