how do you go over your kids' grades together?
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Anonymous
Why? What do you do? Yell at your DC over morning Cheerios? |
Anonymous
| With a report card like that OP I would start with a high five. It sounds like she's doing well, and working hard and that should be recognized. Then chat abou what her favorite subject is, and what she finds hardest, or whatever. If you talk about school on a regular basis, this doesn't need to be a big deal. |
Anonymous
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I wasn't really going to talk to my 1st grade son at all about his grades - he's doing fine and working hard and gets lots of feedback from us and the teacher through out the year.
But he came home from school last week and specifically asked what grades he got and what they all meant. So I just showed it to him, pointed out all the great things, said it looks like this one or two areas are things where we need to practice a little more (which we already knew) and then gave him a big hug and went on with life. I tried to keep it as low key as possible, but I also didn't want to ignore his questions. |
Anonymous
| I ask my kids is there anything you are having problems with in school probably every other week. Come report time we haven't had any problems. My children put more importance on grades than DH and I do. At the beginning and end of the school year, we go to Dave and Busters or do something fun as a family (celebrate the start of school and at the end a job well done). |
Anonymous
I'm guessing the "how typical" poster thinks this is too much to-do over the report cards. Just a guess. |
Anonymous
I think it might be the fact that a middle-schooler is getting treated to a restaurant in a wealthy area that many of us might consider too expensive for date night with our spouses. AT least that was my reaction... |
Anonymous
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OP, by the time the report card comes to you it should be no surprise at all. Rather than having a discussion over the whole quarter's worth of grades, work on communicating with your child throughout the school year so you're aware when there are large projects or big tests coming and so your child feels willing to talk with you as he's working on those, and after he gets those specific grades. You want your kid to feel it's natural just to talk about what he's doing and what his grades are, so if there is a problem in one class or in one type of schoolwork, you already know that long before a report card arrives summing up the quarter.
Nope, not talking about micromanaging every single project or homework assignment, but about showing your kid that grades are not some big, fearsome thing looming over the end of the quarter, but an everyday thing that's there to help him know how things are going. I would think one Big Talk About Grades could intimidate some kids, even those who make good grades. . |
Anonymous
I personally reacted to the dog and pony show element where the kid has to guess the grades first, clearly placing the parent as the dominant person in the conversation with all the information, and then the focus is on how the kid can improve. But Woodmont Grill is also hilarious. I have a total mental image of this whole scene. And btw, this kid is going to be telling his therapist about this when he's older. |
Anonymous
Isn't that the whole point of having quarterly grades? I mean, the only grade recorded is the one at the end of the year. So quarterly grades are actually a GREAT time to sit down and discuss what's up. |
Anonymous
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OP if your teacher wants you to discuss, I'd ask the teacher what approach he/she suggests.
My oldest is in MS and never cared about looking at his report card. So we never discussed or showed it to him because we felt it didn't matter. When he got to MS we told him to check his grades online weekly and then we'd make clucking noises, essentially bugging him or reminding him to e-mail a teacher. He got tired of our noises, so in 7th grade we told him to manage it himself. We said that if he didn't want to hear from us then he needed to complete assignments and do well. We didn't say anything, though on a few occasions, we made clucking noises about one class when we saw the quarterly grades. Youngest in elementary wants to see, so we give it to him without comment. He then bemoans that it's not 4s and we tell him that it doesn't matter, that teachers won't give the highest grade mid-year. That's our discussion. Of course if a specific issue comes up we discuss. |
Anonymous
| ^^meant to say DS didn't care in elementary school |
Anonymous
| This looks great Johnny. The teachers say you are working hard and your work is all turned in on time. Keep it up! |
Anonymous
| I look it over, praise the good grades, and encourage him to do better anywhere I suspect he can and ask him if he feels like he needs help to do that. So far, so good. Both my kids are really good students, though. I'm honestly not sure what I'd do if they were struggling. |
Anonymous
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Nope. 3rd grade DS has dyslexia. He's working his butt off and improving at a moderate pace, but bcs he's below his grade level in reading and writing, his report card looks cruddy because he needs extra assistance, and so they can't say he's "mastered" the skills. He's doing fine in math and understands all the content, but his reading and writing are poor. He has JUST started to show a good attitude toward learning in the past few months, and he gets lots of feedback on measures from his special education teacher that are super-motivating to him, and I'm not going to screw with that by showing him a poor report card.
1st grade DD is doing well in all areas, but she just loves learning. For now, I don't go over it with her because I want to keep fostering that love of learning rather than making things achievement-based. |
Anonymous
| After I chain the kids to a wall in the basement, I get the mace out and then we open the envelopes.... |