After divorce, how did you "get back out there?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I joined Ok Cupid.

Me, too. Loved it. Found my amazing DH there.

Also did meet ups, took up every invitation for happy hour, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I started with a random hookup before I tried dating. Less pressure- no emotional stake and I didn't have to worry as much about what he would think if my body or how I was "down there" after a baby. I'm not usually a random hookup type but it worked.

+1 - I wish I had a potential FWB, then I could "lose my virginity". After 18 years of marriage and three kids, I don't have a clue! It feels overwhelming, but I"m ready to have some grown up time that is more than coffee with the girls. I'm in good shape, look pretty good, but it's a big mental hurdle. Not too mention that I have sole custody with no overnights, so there is that.

[Anonymous]

Mine was easy since the marriage lasted only 5 years, lived together 2.5. I dated people before divorce was final. Had my son only 505 time so I had plenty of time to date and I worked in a bar. Men just kept coming.

[Anonymous]

Guy, late 40s. Have been doing online dating for a little while. I think tinder and POF are better than okc. That said, it's been an eye opener - there are some crazeeee people out there ! I guess for women it'd like sticking your mouth over a fire hydrant. Synchronizing time with kids is a big hassle.

[Anonymous]

It is daunting. I got divorced at 42 after 19 years of marriage. WTF did I know about dating? Not a thing. I got on plenty of fish at a friend's urging (she met her husband there) -- she was like, what? you're better than me? She's gorgeous, funny as hell, accomplished, etc ... I was like, nope! And signed up.

I got a ton of interest (and if I did, you will - seriously) and set the bar at medium-high initially. I considered it practice; no harm, no foul. I definitely had - as someone else mentioned - a few oh shit, why am I doing this, I think I might puke moments but, truly, it didn't take me too long to figure it out. Once I felt more comfortable, I got super selective. I dated a great guy for nearly a year - a wonderful person who I still talk to nearly every day. And I'm currently seeing another fantastic person - been nearly a year - who would really like to get married. And I think I might too.

All of that is to encourage you to try. Trust me, if I was able to figure it out, you will be too.

[Anonymous]

Random hookup person here. I met mine in a bar while I was out with friends. Talked to him most of the night. Normally I'd just trade numbers and go home after that but I hadn't had sex in 18 months. So when he asked me home with him- and he lived much closer to the bar - and my ex had our kid- I said yes. Then I decided to have sex instead of just messing around because hell, why not. We saw each other a few times after that and then it fizzled, but it gave me confidence to get back out there.