After divorce, how did you "get back out there?"
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I feel sort of paralyzed! The idea of actually going on a date and eventually getting naked in front of a new person is daunting.
How did you ease yourself back out into the dating world? |
Anonymous
|
I did a lot of non-dating mixed gender group outings such as the Young Adults' Ministry at my Parish, Meetups, volunteering. I got used to being available for flirting again.
A friend did coed softball and then coed flag football. |
Anonymous
| I joined Ok Cupid. |
Anonymous
Op here. I was thinking of doing that. How has it been for you? |
Anonymous
| I'm in pretty much the same boat. Recently separated and moved to North Carolina, any tips would be appreciated! |
Anonymous
| I had a flirty friend with whom I broke the sexual ice. I felt safer with him, knew he liked me a lot, and it was easier to get naked and intimate with him than with a completely new person. After I loosened up a bit, I went on OKC and started dating. I've met quite a few interesting men, clicked with a handful, and have had a couple of relationships that lasted a few months. I'm so comfortable dating now; I've traveled an enormous mental distance from those early days of being terrified of exposing myself to someone new … You can do it, it'll be fun! |
Anonymous
| It's hard. Be tough. If you find it draining, take a break. And then try again. Okcupid yielded weirdos. I think I need to reset the algorithm. Has anyone had to do that? |
Anonymous
| I did OKCupid and it worked well for me. I was terrified to start dating, before my first date I thought I would puke, and then it was an excruciatingly boring date. But it gets so much easier after you meet a few people. I also make it clear to friends that I'm happy to be set up. |
Anonymous
| Do you have kids? |
Anonymous
OP here. I do have kids but only 50% of the time. |
Anonymous
|
I wasn't divorced, but did deal with an illness that kept me from dating for 6+ years. I loved OKCupid. I could go on when I wanted to. Answer questions, take quizzes, look at profiles, all at my leisure. I blocked IMing.
When my inbox got flooded with jerks, I just deleted the emails. When it was an email from someone nice, but I just wasn't interested in them, I sent them a short "I don't think we are a match" email. The ones I was interested in, I contacted. When it got to be a bit overwhelming, I would stop logging on for a few weeks. I liked being in control. Ended up meeting DH on there. |
Anonymous
| Honestly, I started with a random hookup before I tried dating. Less pressure- no emotional stake and I didn't have to worry as much about what he would think if my body or how I was "down there" after a baby. I'm not usually a random hookup type but it worked. |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
|