DH in contact with an ex gf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really good friends with my ex. It isn't romantic at all. I'm lucky that my husband is understanding because I'm the tyoe of person who only has a few close friends, and he's one of them. If my husband asked me to cut ties, I absolutely would, but personally I think it's better to just let people be friends with who they want, so long as all involved are respectful of your relationship.

+1

[Anonymous]

I talk to a lot of exes all the time. I liked them enough to suck their dicks and I still like them as people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a big deal but note that he called her first. Don't let him pit you against her in some sort of imaginary contest for his love. Allegedly you've already won.

No, ex called him.

[Anonymous]

You should ask to see that picture immediately.

[Anonymous]

Even if you weren't in the throes of pregnancies hormonal effects, there is still something off on this.

It is improper for a husband and soon to be father to be talking about such personal matters with an ex. She shouldn't be discussing her dating life with him. She needs to talk to a friend instead.

And he shouldn't be talking to her as well.

The fact that this man isn't willing to talk to you at length while working, yet has no qualms discussing her love life for half an hour bodes pretty bad for him.

It's not that your insecure, damn it. You deserve this man's respect!!

I would let him know that you feel his relationship with her is bordering on inappropriate and that you just don't feel at ease with the status quo. While you cannot dictate who he talks to in his daily life, for the sake of your feelings it would make you feel much better if he stopped communicating with her stat.

Any woman, preggers or not, would not be too happy in your shoes OP. You are not wrong here.

[Anonymous]

You should tell your H how you feel.

Maybe it is innocent and maybe it's not (on her part). Men are a little dense, they think it's all just friend and then they are in the middle of something. Then they say " it just happened"

If you are your H support system it does not mean you blindly trust him. You express situations the feel awkward/dangerous. He should do the same for you.

[Anonymous]

Sorry... Weird spell check.

You tell him when a situation is awkward or dangerous....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if you weren't in the throes of pregnancies hormonal effects, there is still something off on this.

It is improper for a husband and soon to be father to be talking about such personal matters with an ex. She shouldn't be discussing her dating life with him. She needs to talk to a friend instead.

And he shouldn't be talking to her as well.

The fact that this man isn't willing to talk to you at length while working, yet has no qualms discussing her love life for half an hour bodes pretty bad for him.

It's not that your insecure, damn it. You deserve this man's respect!!

I would let him know that you feel his relationship with her is bordering on inappropriate and that you just don't feel at ease with the status quo. While you cannot dictate who he talks to in his daily life, for the sake of your feelings it would make you feel much better if he stopped communicating with her stat.

Any woman, preggers or not, would not be too happy in your shoes OP. You are not wrong here.

I agree. I'm in the camp that men and women who used to be in a relationship can't be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a big deal but note that he called her first. Don't let him pit you against her in some sort of imaginary contest for his love. Allegedly you've already won.

No, ex called him.

The OP said she saw in his call logs that her DH had called the ex a few weeks ago. OP, was this call before the ex supposedly initiated contact with him? If so, I would have a big problem with him lying about it.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset. If she called him out of the blue to discuss this then it means she is trying to get details about his relationship with you. However, you know he already lied about that. They've been in contact and are sending pics.

[Anonymous]

Did he also tell you he'd called her and about the photo? If not, he's lying by omission to you, and that's something to worry about. I believe people can be friends with exes. I'm good friends with mine, all completely innocent. However, if this thing with him and his ex feels weird to you, or you feel he's withheld info, trust your gut, and tell him you feel it's not appropriate for him to be in contact with his ex, and out of consideration for you, he should cut that off now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he also tell you he'd called her and about the photo? If not, he's lying by omission to you, and that's something to worry about. I believe people can be friends with exes. I'm good friends with mine, all completely innocent. However, if this thing with him and his ex feels weird to you, or you feel he's withheld info, trust your gut, and tell him you feel it's not appropriate for him to be in contact with his ex, and out of consideration for you, he should cut that off now.

+1

[Anonymous]

She was calling to let your DH know that she was single at the moment and if he wants to rekindle anything, he should speak up right now. She was fishing.

Your DH didn't reach out to her or call her. If you trust your DH, you have zero to worry about it. This does not reflect poorly on him. Let him know that you'd rather he didn't stay in contact with her right now/ It's not like she is a close friend or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was calling to let your DH know that she was single at the moment and if he wants to rekindle anything, he should speak up right now. She was fishing.

Your DH didn't reach out to her or call her. If you trust your DH, you have zero to worry about it. This does not reflect poorly on him. Let him know that you'd rather he didn't stay in contact with her right now/ It's not like she is a close friend or anything.

But this doesn't seem like a one and done situation. He talked to her twice and she sent him a photo. It appears that he's showing interest.

My DH's ex has tried to contact him in the past, and - without my input, because I don't really care - he shut that down right away. If he's engaging in a back and forth, there's a reason. Maybe it's just that he's a nice guy and feels like he can't just blow her off, but in any event, you need to make clear to him that you're not comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wounded bird trick. Tell him to get rid of her.

This exactly. "I'm single now and want you to know about it in case you're still interested - I'm throwing in the potential new relationship angle so you know to move in on me quickly before I'm unavailable again." Im sure she has better friends to seek this kind of advice from. She reached out to him for only one reason. I pulled this with an ex when I was young and dumb in my 20s.