Why do people want a significant other?
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Anonymous
I'm Larry and my brother Daryl and other brother Daryl are offended. |
Anonymous
| Because I need affection and companionship and I want that with someone who is vested in me and not some revolving door of randoms. |
Anonymous
| And no, family cannot fill the gap created by sexual longing. |
Anonymous
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Why do people like to eat/breathe/go on walks/go to the movies/have friends?
Because these things satisfy a deep natural human desire |
Anonymous
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In my teens and 20s, I really wanted to be in a romantic relationship. My parents had a terrible marriage; one grandmother was twice divorced, twice widowed; the other was married to a man who was abusive to everyone. So I didn't have good role models for relationships. I had two okay teenage boyfriends, but I was not crazy about either of them. In college, I met a guy I was crazy about and we fell into a not-quite FWB situation. We never slept together, but there was plenty of frantic making out. Meanwhile, we casually dated other people. I fell in love for the first time after my therapist insisted I get out of that situation. It was out of the frying pan and into the fire. College bf was a classic narcissist. I didn't get free of him until I got pregnant.
I was in another complicated non-sexual relationship in my early to mid twenties. It wasn't miserable, though. We just ultimately couldn't come up with a way to build a life together that ticked all our individual boxes. In my late 20s through very early 30s, I was in a terrible marriage and once I got out of that, I felt pretty much done with love and marriage. I had a purely sexual relationship with a very long term partner that ended amicably. I followed that with a couple years of (quasi)celibacy (battery powered relief was a major feature). It was lovely. I founded great platonic friendships and figured myself out. At 39, I met a man when I was least interested in anything meaningful. We started as friends and I was pretty sure we'd stay just friends. We're getting married in 9 mos. all the things I'd unsuccessfully sought in a relationship, we've achieved. He's a lover, provider, friend, companion, and protector. I know some people bemoan meeting their soulmate late in life, but the truth is I wasn't ready for him before we met. |
Anonymous
When I met DH, I had given up on men. Then he changed my mind and I suddenly was open to a relationship. Why? He was attractive, interested, funny, friendly, kind, compassionate, a good listener, energetic sexually, respectful of all people, intellectual, artistic and creative. After six years of living together and then 20+ years of marriage, we're still together. Why? Because he's still the man I met (except that his hair color has changed from brown to grey). OP, don't settle. Have fun on your own. Some people settle because they're afraid to be alone or feel incomplete without a relationship. Forget that. Hold out for attraction, love, great sex (check out all the infidelity threads to confirm that it's essential) and fun. When you're available, you'll find someone. If that never happens, it's perfectly O.K. Just thank God or NO God that you live in a country where you're free to be single! |
Anonymous
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It's because of our societal norms in general.
People are viewed as lonely/flawed/pathetic if they are not part of a couple. Being single is viewed as a temporary status that should be rectified sooner or later. Being alone is not a sign of a person's worth. Not in any way, shape or form. |
Anonymous
+1 LOL. My family is so annoying. |