Not passionate with BF of 2 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life isn't 50 Shades of Grey love.

And thank heavens. The relationship depicted is "passionate" and manipulative and abusive.

OP, it sounds like you wanted to wait and your boyfriend respects that. This may be because he loves you and respects you, but it's also possible that he is low drive and just isn't that interested in sex. I suggest you talk to him about this, perhaps in the context of talking about the future of your relationship. Do you want to marry him?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's getting his passion elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life isn't 50 Shades of Grey love.

And thank heavens. The relationship depicted is "passionate" and manipulative and abusive.

OP, it sounds like you wanted to wait and your boyfriend respects that. This may be because he loves you and respects you, but it's also possible that he is low drive and just isn't that interested in sex. I suggest you talk to him about this, perhaps in the context of talking about the future of your relationship. Do you want to marry him?

+1 He may be respecting your wishes but he may also be low drive, which is important to know before getting married - though it's hard to figure it out when you're not having sex. Does he seem to have any desire for you? Does he ever initiate sexual behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two things:

1. Yes, it is common that the passion lessens over time. It doesn't mean you don't love the person, don't want them, don't enjoy sex, etc., but the intensity does go down a bit.

2. You want two contradictory things, and that's not really fair to him. You want him to want to be overcome with desire for you, going so far as to suggest you want him to push for more (and that perhaps you'd give it to him if he did, but that seems to completely conflict with a commitment to waiting), but you've also been very clear with him that he needs to restrain himself because you're not going to have actual intercourse until after you are married. You need to figure out what you want here and be clear about it in your behavior and your expectations for him.

This.

OP how old are you? Very young?

I ask because I did something similar before I married DH. We were both young and I was a virgin, we did oral and manual sex before marriage, and my now DH was careful not to push things too far, but I also let him know I was okay with him initiating things.To my knowledge he has never cheated on me and our sex life is good neither of us are low drive.

Also, and I know you haven't had sex before, but there comes a point where making out and oral while fun can get pretty darn stale if it never goes any further.

This has been going on 2 years, how much longer do you plan to wait, until you get married?


You really need to figure out what you want. There is nothing wrong with waiting, there is nothing wrong with having sex, but you have to figure it out you can't tell him no sex , but then be mad he isn't sexing you.

Because I have a feeling if he did push things you'd be posting about your pig boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

He's probably holding back because you won't actually fuck him. When's the wedding?

[Anonymous]

No judgment, but a legit question. What is the point?

Oral sex is incredibly intimate, in some ways moreso than intercourse, if you're doing it right.

You want him to ravish you? Tell him you can't wait any longer and you need his d--k in your p---y.

[Anonymous]

Every 'wait for marriage' marriage that has a healthy sex life, they were married within 1 year (usually around 8-9 months, both in mid-20's). The ones where they didn't get married for more than 1 year, have really strained sexual marriages-mismatched sex drive (one low and hating the pressure to have sex, the other angry that they waited and stuck with a low drive partner) or one having serious issues with sex or sexuality.