Relative set out to get herself pregnant by a serviceman to escape living under parents house/rules

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you force someone to get married? Did she get pregnant by raping him?

I don't have a dog in your family issue, but it never ceases to amaze me how men are never responsible for their own choices and decisions.

He tried to do the honorable thing.

Oh nonsense. He made his own choices, too. To have sex with her, likely without protection. It's 2015 - you don't have to get married when there's a child on the way. And then go on to have a 2nd child.

Maybe she's no gem, but the guy is not a victim.

Agreed. They're both idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you force someone to get married? Did she get pregnant by raping him?

I don't have a dog in your family issue, but it never ceases to amaze me how men are never responsible for their own choices and decisions.

He tried to do the honorable thing.

Oh nonsense. He made his own choices, too. To have sex with her, likely without protection. It's 2015 - you don't have to get married when there's a child on the way. And then go on to have a 2nd child.

Maybe she's no gem, but the guy is not a victim.

+1 The only ones I feel sorry for in this situation are the kids.

[Anonymous]

neither of them makes good choices.

I married a man who was in the military when we met. We watched a ton of people get married way too young because of pregnancy. Most of them didn't last. There was also a weird "If you don't want to stop dating, just marry them and bring them with you" mindset.

Yes, the plan backfired on her. But it isn't like this doesn't happen to lots of other families. Shit, my 40+ year old BIL lives with his parents in their 3 BR house with his 2 kids.

This guy didn't have to marry your cousin or make a second baby with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he look like Richard Gere? I think I saw this movie.

Seriously! Now I have "Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong" in my head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is service man, someone who fixes appliances?

Do you not have any family members in the service?

I'm not the PP you quoted, but I thought "serviceman" was an odd choice of words too. And yes, I am married to a Marine of 25 years, my dad was in the navy, both my grandfathers were in the navy, several cousins have been in the military, etc. We usually use the term "military member" or by their specific branch--"sailor" "Marine" "airman" etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we supposed to think this is worse because he was military?

I'm from a military family and engaged to a vet. Every single male I know who has served since Vietnam got the same speech in basic training: "Don't marry a girl just because you knocked her up."

Oh. When I read service man I thought like, elevator repair man or electrician or something.

[Anonymous]

Ditto above. It was a very odd choice of phrase.

[Anonymous]

Military vet here. I also thought "serviceman" meant someone who came by the house to repair the refrigerator.

OP, as to your relative's choices, this is none of your concern. I don't know how you know she became pregnant intentionally (unless she admitted that she did). It sounds sad to me that your relative felt like she needed to become pregnant to "escape" her parents and their rules. I wonder how restrictive that household must have been for her to make such a drastic choice. But the father here had choices as well. Men are capable of using birth control, too. And as others have pointed out, he certainly didn't need to marry her and then have a second child with her.

But okay, enjoy your feeling of superiority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she do to you?

I am the only one in the family who can see through her B.S.

So, in other words, she did not do anything to you. You just like to judge her (and ascribe magical powers to her apparently, since you think she is capable of forcing a man to have unprotected sex with her and to marry her). Frankly, it sounds like she made some bad choices when she was younger in an attempt to escape controlling family. He made some bad choices, too. Unsurprisingly, the marriage that resulted from these bad choices didn't last. In what world is this your problem?

[Anonymous]

And he probably married her to get out of the barracks/dorms as a single junior enlisted man. Bad decisions on both sides, so don't stick her with this whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And he probably married her to get out of the barracks/dorms as a single junior enlisted man. Bad decisions on both sides, so don't stick her with this whole thing.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And he probably married her to get out of the barracks/dorms as a single junior enlisted man. Bad decisions on both sides, so don't stick her with this whole thing.

+1

Oh, right, I am the poster above who is married to the vet and saw lots of people get married because of pregnancy. I forgot about this part - get married ---> get out of the dorms and into some sort of bigger home on base OR get a housing stipend.

[Anonymous]

Why are you so angry at her? This sounds like a terrible way to live. Isn't that punishment enough? You sounds so angry that people dare have sympathy.

[Anonymous]

OP, curious what exactly is your connection to these two.

[Anonymous]

I'm from a military area (not OP) and the newscasters say "serviceman" all the time.

With that said, she will probably do what I have seen other women in her situation do--find another guy, get pregnant by him, move in / get married.

OP, you can be angered by this, but it is up to her parents to decide what to do.