Vicious Dog

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say a word. If you go back to visit, book a hotel. If MIL complains about it, just be simple and direct. "SIL has a vicious dog that bites people. I know you are comfortable having the dog stay with you at your home. I am not comfortable having my children staying with the dog. We will be at a hotel from now on."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's how my mother solved it: stated very clearly that the dog was not allowed around us (and we didn't go to their house) and if the owner ever let the dog near us and we got bit, the dog was going to disappear. Mom's a hardass and everyone believed that she would make good on that promise. An idiot with an aggressive dog that they won't/can't control is not someone you handle with kid gloves.

One of my dogs is scared of children so he isn't allowed around children. Period. The other is too bouncy around toddlers so he isn't allowed around toddlers. Period. A dog can't unbite a child, I can't understand people who would risk it.

Your mom rocks!

[Anonymous]

My dad and his wife had a similarly aggressive dog when my kids were small. At the visit in which Cujo started stalking towards my child, growling, I realized that this was like their own offspring and the grandparents would never prioritize *my* kids' human needs over Cujo's. We didn't make a big deal about it, just stayed with other relatives when we visited, and NEVER left our kids alone with the dog. We also warned our kids explicitly: "I know our dog is super lovey, and so are lots of dogs, but Cujo is a *mean* dog. We won't talk about this out loud around grandparents, but you can NEVER pet Cujo when we are at their house. Stay close to Mommy and Daddy and let grandparents play with Cujo.") I then kept my kids in my lap until they were old enough to walk around, and then limited visits as much as possible, or arranged to meet at restaurants etc where dog would naturally not be able to come. I did not directly address dog aggressiveness with my dad but would definitely have done so if I had to stay with them. Agree with what PPs said about approaching MIL directly with statement: "We can't stay there when Cujo is at your house. We are concerned for our kids' safety. We would love to see you, though <alternate plan>."

[Anonymous]

Yeah. No shared houses.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I'm actually surprised at the amount of good advice posted. Thanks!

Just to calm the fears of some posters, the dog was crated when the kids were around. I made it clear that while the kids could be told hundreds of times to stay away from the dog, they were too young to listen. Thankfully the dog then bit another guest, and it was agreed that he would be crated.

I was not told that the dog would be there until they pulled up. I would have liked to leave but it was Christmas Day, all the nearby hotels were booked solid (I called around and it's a remote area) and we had flown across the country so driving back was out of the question. I gently told mil later that if SIL was so worried about her dog biting; maybe it's best she leave hers at home. MIL told me that to SIL, Damien-Cujo is her baby. SIL told me that Damien-Cujo had bit someone earlier in the week and drew blood. I told her "wow, you're lucky she didn't sue you! I would have!" I know that was rude but I was silently furious for being put in this position. I do think that was the real reason the dog was crated because she blamed BIL for being bitten. Apparently he was "standing aggressively". Right.

I think trips to see the Inlaws will be markedly reduced until Damien-Cujo is trained or rehomed.

[Anonymous]

That dog needs to be put down Its owner is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Did someone report the dog bite to the proper authorities? It's important that there be a record if he really is a vicious dog.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if you can call Animal Control in SIL's town to report the dog.

[Anonymous]

She has the resources to retrain it and no kids. It is mostly kept away from people. Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm actually surprised at the amount of good advice posted. Thanks!

Just to calm the fears of some posters, the dog was crated when the kids were around. I made it clear that while the kids could be told hundreds of times to stay away from the dog, they were too young to listen. Thankfully the dog then bit another guest, and it was agreed that he would be crated.

I was not told that the dog would be there until they pulled up. I would have liked to leave but it was Christmas Day, all the nearby hotels were booked solid (I called around and it's a remote area) and we had flown across the country so driving back was out of the question. I gently told mil later that if SIL was so worried about her dog biting; maybe it's best she leave hers at home. MIL told me that to SIL, Damien-Cujo is her baby. SIL told me that Damien-Cujo had bit someone earlier in the week and drew blood. I told her "wow, you're lucky she didn't sue you! I would have!" I know that was rude but I was silently furious for being put in this position. I do think that was the real reason the dog was crated because she blamed BIL for being bitten. Apparently he was "standing aggressively". Right.

I think trips to see the Inlaws will be markedly reduced until Damien-Cujo is trained or rehomed.

OP, I posted earlier saying they would never see me. In the future, if I were you, I would simply not plan to visit MIL. I don't know about you, but in my family, if I don't make the plans nothing happens. If your husband does go through the exercise of nailing down a time and buying plane tickets, you make a hotel reservation. If you happen to be on the phone with MIL and she asks when you will be staying with her next, you reply brightly, "Oh we won't be staying with you while SIL has Damien-Cujo. We got unpleasantly surprised at Christmas so we won't be taking any chances in the future." Smile. Don't express anger or frustration. If she asks when you will be coming again, "No time soon. We can't risk being surprised again by a visit from Damien-Cujo."

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP, that is the plan. We can meet the Inlaws at another location -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm actually surprised at the amount of good advice posted. Thanks!

Just to calm the fears of some posters, the dog was crated when the kids were around. I made it clear that while the kids could be told hundreds of times to stay away from the dog, they were too young to listen. Thankfully the dog then bit another guest, and it was agreed that he would be crated.

I was not told that the dog would be there until they pulled up. I would have liked to leave but it was Christmas Day, all the nearby hotels were booked solid (I called around and it's a remote area) and we had flown across the country so driving back was out of the question. I gently told mil later that if SIL was so worried about her dog biting; maybe it's best she leave hers at home. MIL told me that to SIL, Damien-Cujo is her baby. SIL told me that Damien-Cujo had bit someone earlier in the week and drew blood. I told her "wow, you're lucky she didn't sue you! I would have!" I know that was rude but I was silently furious for being put in this position. I do think that was the real reason the dog was crated because she blamed BIL for being bitten. Apparently he was "standing aggressively". Right.

I think trips to see the Inlaws will be markedly reduced until Damien-Cujo is trained or rehomed.

I would just start booking hotel rooms for any visits. If you walk in MIL's door and Cujo isn't crated, turn around and walk out. Make plans to meet at other locations. There is no way I would agree to be in the same room as a dog that bit TWO people in one week, let alone allow my child to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did someone report the dog bite to the proper authorities? It's important that there be a record if he really is a vicious dog.

BIL and the other guest did not report the bite. SIL claims the other victim from earlier in the week did not report the bite either. She loves to tell the adoption story of her dog and how he grew up in horrible circumstances. That said, I have stopped feeling sorry for SIL and the dog because SIL needs to take steps to curb this behavior. The dog is medium-sized, otherwise it would have been put down for sure.

[Anonymous]

I'm stunned by people who take their dogs to other people's homes. That would not fly with me. Op, is sil asserting her right to have her dog there because you take your dog to your ils house? I agree you sil is an ass. She will pay eventually but you take your dog to the ils, right?

[Anonymous]

My mom had a dog who was a dominant/aggressive and who bit my then-toddler once on the hand (kid startled dog). It was minor, but she put the dog down the next day. Said she couldn't/wouldn't risk it.