My SIL has a vicious dog. The dog has bitten numerous people, and I am not sure how she hasn't yet gotten sued. The main reason for this viciousness is that it was badly abused as a puppy (before my SIL adopted the dog), and my SIL has not taken sufficient steps to train him out of this behavior. Even though she magically was able to find care for him during her 4 week trip around Europe, she brought him to my inlaws house where my two small toddlers were staying. The entire time we were instructed to stay away from the dog, especially since the dog does not growl or bark- just bites. I had to watch my kids like a hawk to keep them away because they are too young to follow directions to stay away from the dog. The dog bit two other family members during its 3 day stay, but thankfully nothing happened to my kids (see- watching like a hawk, above). My MIL never told me the dog would be there, and the dog has never been there before. Is there any nice way to ask that the dog be left at home in a kennel next time? I love dogs, but this one really needs help before it is left around small children. |
Why would you choose a nice way? "Larla, Damian needs to stay home or at a kennel next time. Period." |
Similar issue except the dog is at the house we visit. It attacks our dog, it's other dog sibling and children. They've talked about rehoming it or putting it to sleep but both seem cruel and they can't figure out which is better. |
Damian! Love it. |
Step 1 is to not bring your dog... |
I don't think you need to be nice in this situation. Before your next visit, have your DH ask if the dog will be there. If they say yes, tell them you don't feel safe having your children in a house with that dog since it has proven to be a biter, and don't go. The fact that your ILs even allowed this dog to be around your children shows that they don't prioritize the safety of their grandchildren over SILs desire to bring her dog with her.
We had this fight with my MIL after her dog tried to bite our DD. MIL didn't think it was a big deal since the dog is small, but we were very clear we were not going to allow DD around the dog ever, and if MIL wouldn't put the dog in the other room, we would not come to her house. Even after that, she tried to bring the dog to our house and had a complete fit when we told her no. But we held firm, and that dog has not been in the same room as our DD since the biting incident. |
Owning a truly vicious dog is illegal not to mention highly dangerous. You have every right to say, no. |
Here's how my mother solved it: stated very clearly that the dog was not allowed around us (and we didn't go to their house) and if the owner ever let the dog near us and we got bit, the dog was going to disappear. Mom's a hardass and everyone believed that she would make good on that promise. An idiot with an aggressive dog that they won't/can't control is not someone you handle with kid gloves.
One of my dogs is scared of children so he isn't allowed around children. Period. The other is too bouncy around toddlers so he isn't allowed around toddlers. Period. A dog can't unbite a child, I can't understand people who would risk it. |
We would have left, immediately. I am so sorry that you had to put your children at risk. I refused to go to an Aunt's house because of an unsafe dog. I was not popular, but that year thend dog bit twice. Not my children, no way. |
I don't think I would care much about being nice. Your SIL has a dog that frequently bites people, and she is fully aware of that fact. She and your MIL are willing to put other people in danger. It doesn't even sound like the dog was crated or left outside during the day or contained in one part of the house. I would make it clear that neither I nor my children would step foot in the same house with that dog. |
Don't take your kids to visit SIL and the dog. Make SIL visit you, dogfree. If your DH is on the fence, let him visit SIL all by himself.
Your kids trump SIL ... and her dog. |
There are times when safety takes precedence over feelings. This is one of them. Maybe show her some pictures of dog bite victims on the internet, to help her realize the seriousness of the issue? |
When you're going to someone else's house, I think it's perfectly fine to ask if the dog will be there and to make it clear that you will not visit if the dog is there. But, I don't think you can tell the in laws who can visit them. What I don't get is why you would even stay there with such a crazy dog. |
I realize the dog bites, and has major issues.
However, are you planning to tell SIL what she can/can't do at MIL's house? I don't see that going well since MIL obviously didn't have much of a problem with it, and it's her house. My approach would be to tell MIL that you want to know when the dog will be there, so you can plan not to be. That is completely within your power and doesn't rely on anyone else to do anything. ![]() |
My in laws brought their guardy, reactive dog to our home where their toddler grand child has toys all over that dog decides to guard. (Will snap if someone comes within 5 feet of a toy/couch/person he's deemed his)
Thankfully I have a lot of experience in dog training, so I was able to immediately see what was going on. I told MIL that dog either goes in a crate, or toddler and I were going to hang out in the basement away from the dog. I was not comfortable with them in the same room. She pouted for 30 minutes or so, but then (mostly) got over it. |