Moms role in social engineering in Middle School

[Anonymous]

All of the mass shooters have been the kids who are left out. As a society, we need to recognize that this type of petty bullying has massive and scary implications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the mass shooters have been the kids who are left out. As a society, we need to recognize that this type of petty bullying has massive and scary implications.

But in all fairness, bullies self-destruct too. I read somewhere that 60% of prisoners started out as bullies

http://ezinearticles.com/?Prevent-Bullies-Before-They-Become-Prisoners---60%-of-Bullies-Have-1-Conviction-by-Age-24&id=1447882

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sad. I teach middle school in MoCo (sick today) and it is rampant at my "W" feeder. Parents request schedule schedule changes to keep cliques together and all the Queen Bees in one class. Then I have to split up "the Squad" whenever we have group work or nothing gets accomplished except idle chatter and mean gossip. As a result, I get emails saying "Larla, Larlina, and Larlette are really upset that you won't let the work together. They have been BFFs since they were in pre-school and over the years have developed a very special way of working together. Having to adjust to other group members' learning styles cost all three girls a lot of valuable work time today."

OP, good for you in standing ground against this terrible behavior. I cannot believe theses entitled parents have the audacity to send you such messages! Let me guess, they have the attitude that since they pay their property taxes(and your salary is paid for by property taxes), they believe you basically work for them.

Yeah, and I have had one or two Mean Girls essentially tell me that I work for their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sad. I teach middle school in MoCo (sick today) and it is rampant at my "W" feeder. Parents request schedule schedule changes to keep cliques together and all the Queen Bees in one class. Then I have to split up "the Squad" whenever we have group work or nothing gets accomplished except idle chatter and mean gossip. As a result, I get emails saying "Larla, Larlina, and Larlette are really upset that you won't let the work together. They have been BFFs since they were in pre-school and over the years have developed a very special way of working together. Having to adjust to other group members' learning styles cost all three girls a lot of valuable work time today."

Oh wow, PP. What a fancy way of saying, "My daughter is mad because you wouldn't let her work with her friends."

Yes. I think it was meant to create the impression that there was a negative educational impact to separating them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sad. I teach middle school in MoCo (sick today) and it is rampant at my "W" feeder. Parents request schedule schedule changes to keep cliques together and all the Queen Bees in one class. Then I have to split up "the Squad" whenever we have group work or nothing gets accomplished except idle chatter and mean gossip. As a result, I get emails saying "Larla, Larlina, and Larlette are really upset that you won't let the work together. They have been BFFs since they were in pre-school and over the years have developed a very special way of working together. Having to adjust to other group members' learning styles cost all three girls a lot of valuable work time today."

OP, good for you in standing ground against this terrible behavior. I cannot believe theses entitled parents have the audacity to send you such messages! Let me guess, they have the attitude that since they pay their property taxes(and your salary is paid for by property taxes), they believe you basically work for them.

Yeah, and I have had one or two Mean Girls essentially tell me that I work for their parents.

This is a pattern of insecure moms teaching their children to be elitists. '
I'll bet their daughters are the first to get anorexia because they obsess on their weight and appearance, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very sad. I teach middle school in MoCo (sick today) and it is rampant at my "W" feeder. Parents request schedule schedule changes to keep cliques together and all the Queen Bees in one class. Then I have to split up "the Squad" whenever we have group work or nothing gets accomplished except idle chatter and mean gossip. As a result, I get emails saying "Larla, Larlina, and Larlette are really upset that you won't let the work together. They have been BFFs since they were in pre-school and over the years have developed a very special way of working together. Having to adjust to other group members' learning styles cost all three girls a lot of valuable work time today."

Oh wow. This just makes me sick. I wonder if this is going on in our elementary school too, because I notice the same Queen Bee girls in the same classes, year after year. I hope that you shut down those parents somehow. How arrogant. Those girls should be paired up with other girls they've never spoken to before. And the school should stop arranging schedule requests for cliques.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter in middle school and have not seen this AT ALL. Not saying it doesn't happen, but may well be more exception than rule.

I am wondering if it depends on the kind of school and location as well.

[Anonymous]

I have seen it and heard about it tons in Bethesda and Potomac at my kids' school and also others. Please don't, parents. Please let your kids make their own friends, make their own plans, and pick who they want to spent time with, please, it's terrible for your kid and also the others around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very sad. I teach middle school in MoCo (sick today) and it is rampant at my "W" feeder. Parents request schedule schedule changes to keep cliques together and all the Queen Bees in one class. Then I have to split up "the Squad" whenever we have group work or nothing gets accomplished except idle chatter and mean gossip. As a result, I get emails saying "Larla, Larlina, and Larlette are really upset that you won't let the work together. They have been BFFs since they were in pre-school and over the years have developed a very special way of working together. Having to adjust to other group members' learning styles cost all three girls a lot of valuable work time today."

I have to laugh! I've got kids with SN and one of the things we work hard to prevent is 'entrenchment' - meaning the kids get used to one way of doing/eating/seeing/handling things and then can't do it any other way. I'd love to counter that mother with 'I'm so glad you brought this up. I could tell the girls have become rigid and inflexible because of the shallowness of their educational experiences. Being able to develop positive working relationships with others is a critical life skill. I'm glad to help them learn to work with diverse and differing groups. They'll find it challenging and I'm sure you'll hear more grumbling but what a fabulous opportunity they have here."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sad. I teach middle school in MoCo (sick today) and it is rampant at my "W" feeder. Parents request schedule schedule changes to keep cliques together and all the Queen Bees in one class. Then I have to split up "the Squad" whenever we have group work or nothing gets accomplished except idle chatter and mean gossip. As a result, I get emails saying "Larla, Larlina, and Larlette are really upset that you won't let the work together. They have been BFFs since they were in pre-school and over the years have developed a very special way of working together. Having to adjust to other group members' learning styles cost all three girls a lot of valuable work time today."

I have to laugh! I've got kids with SN and one of the things we work hard to prevent is 'entrenchment' - meaning the kids get used to one way of doing/eating/seeing/handling things and then can't do it any other way. I'd love to counter that mother with 'I'm so glad you brought this up. I could tell the girls have become rigid and inflexible because of the shallowness of their educational experiences. Being able to develop positive working relationships with others is a critical life skill. I'm glad to help them learn to work with diverse and differing groups. They'll find it challenging and I'm sure you'll hear more grumbling but what a fabulous opportunity they have here."

That's really impressive, PP! You are good at this.

[Anonymous]

Broad generalization, but rings true in my life; beware the mom of all girls or just one girl.

I have two girls with a boy in the middle. Somehow a DS brings some balance and sanity.

In thinking about my close "mom friends" those I've met through preschool, ES, MS and now HS, all have at least one DS.

I'll go out on a limb and say that the Queen Bee moms of all girls are the biggest social engineers - and this encompasses their own social life; are very cliquish themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Broad generalization, but rings true in my life; beware the mom of all girls or just one girl.

I have two girls with a boy in the middle. Somehow a DS brings some balance and sanity.

In thinking about my close "mom friends" those I've met through preschool, ES, MS and now HS, all have at least one DS.

I'll go out on a limb and say that the Queen Bee moms of all girls are the biggest social engineers - and this encompasses their own social life; are very cliquish themselves.

I never thought about this, but this seems to be true in my life as well! I have two boys and one girl; all the Queen Bee girls at DD's school come from families of all girls. Interesting!!

[Anonymous]

Mom of all girls here who doesn't have queen bee in the bunch. In fact, one is suffering greatly due to the social engineering that goes on. Please don't jump to those conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Broad generalization, but rings true in my life; beware the mom of all girls or just one girl.

I have two girls with a boy in the middle. Somehow a DS brings some balance and sanity.

In thinking about my close "mom friends" those I've met through preschool, ES, MS and now HS, all have at least one DS.

I'll go out on a limb and say that the Queen Bee moms of all girls are the biggest social engineers - and this encompasses their own social life; are very cliquish themselves.

I never thought about this, but this seems to be true in my life as well! I have two boys and one girl; all the Queen Bee girls at DD's school come from families of all girls. Interesting!!

No. The common thread among queen bee moms is that they are insecure and immature. Their own self worth is wrapped up in their progeny- it's just that it can't be fully expressed through their sons.

[Anonymous]

mom of single DD here. Like all generalizations I think this one has a kernel of truth, much as it kills me to admit it. Must be why almost all my mom friends are the mothers of boys only, much to DD's chagrin. "Why do all your friends have boys?" in my experience, they are more relaxed and they have less time for bs politics, which I like.

the one conflict that's come up with another mother was with a mother of 2 girls. She was a total social engineer as described previously - trying to fight her kid's battles etc. I'll go further though and say in my experience, it's mainly SAHMs of girls who social engineer and create cliques - the rest of us are too busy for that kind of bullshit.

*waits for the screams of outrage*