Moms role in social engineering in Middle School

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^You're happy that a person who had a rich family and lots of friends in high school was working at a diner 12 years later. Maybe think about what that says about you?

Which means that her children will end up working in a diner or giving blow jobs at the mall at 12, if logic follows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm seeing in happen ~ not yet to my kids, but from some of the more awful Moms who I know through my gym and country club. Terrible women.

Give 'me a break....ladies who lunch need a hobby, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^You're happy that a person who had a rich family and lots of friends in high school was working at a diner 12 years later. Maybe think about what that says about you?

Which means that her children will end up working in a diner or giving blow jobs at the mall at 12, if logic follows.

Actually not true. My children are grown and very successful. They too were unpopular in middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not popular in high school. I guess you may have considered me one of the outcasts. But it turns out that I was a late bloomer.

These kids who blossom in middle and high school can fizzle out pretty early in life. A perfect example was at age 30 I wondered into a diner. By this time I am gainfully employed in my dream job and recently married to a doctor. We sat down and who comes over to wait on us but the queen bee in high school, Patti Miller. Yes, the homecoming queen was serving me my bacon and eggs. Gotta love it.

How classist!

Working in a diner is honest labor. As a teacher in Bethesda, I see too many kids who think that having a white collar job is a sign that you are one of God's Chosen People. Perhaps the woman you dislike so much works in a diner because she is charismatic (a good trait in a waiter) and enjoys having time free of paperwork to engage in hobbies or volunteer. Maybe her parents couldn't afford to send her to college.

Right now, I think you're not much different emotionally than my seventh-grade students. Try some self-work to get past high school social drama and recognize that adult blue collar career choices are not karma for adolescent popularity.

I think you grossly underestimate the amount of emotional abuse inflicted by these Queen Bees. They exclude, insult, shun, embarrass those who are not lucky enough to be in THEIR "inner circle" PP has not been plotting revenge for a decade or wishing ill will for Patti. She merely enjoyed a momentary smile at the expense of someone who possibly made her life hell for years.
The Anti-bullying Movement needs to focus on Queen Bees and Mean Girls.

[Anonymous]

You realize you are all in the wrong here. This whole thread is dominating just like the ones you say are in school, or their moms.

Take a deep breath, realize how ridiculous you all sound and go thank a Vet for their service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not popular in high school. I guess you may have considered me one of the outcasts. But it turns out that I was a late bloomer.

These kids who blossom in middle and high school can fizzle out pretty early in life. A perfect example was at age 30 I wondered into a diner. By this time I am gainfully employed in my dream job and recently married to a doctor. We sat down and who comes over to wait on us but the queen bee in high school, Patti Miller. Yes, the homecoming queen was serving me my bacon and eggs. Gotta love it.

How classist!

Working in a diner is honest labor. As a teacher in Bethesda, I see too many kids who think that having a white collar job is a sign that you are one of God's Chosen People. Perhaps the woman you dislike so much works in a diner because she is charismatic (a good trait in a waiter) and enjoys having time free of paperwork to engage in hobbies or volunteer. Maybe her parents couldn't afford to send her to college.

Right now, I think you're not much different emotionally than my seventh-grade students. Try some self-work to get past high school social drama and recognize that adult blue collar career choices are not karma for adolescent popularity.

I think you grossly underestimate the amount of emotional abuse inflicted by these Queen Bees. They exclude, insult, shun, embarrass those who are not lucky enough to be in THEIR "inner circle" PP has not been plotting revenge for a decade or wishing ill will for Patti. She merely enjoyed a momentary smile at the expense of someone who possibly made her life hell for years.
The Anti-bullying Movement needs to focus on Queen Bees and Mean Girls.

+100
Who among us hasn't had a momentary thrill when finding out that the high school Queen Bee is quite what she used to be? That doesn't make the PP a bad person - just a human being. The same type of thing once happened to me, and I'm not ashamed to admit I gave in to it and permitted myself a bit of satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

^^^ "isn't quite what she used to be" ^^^

[Anonymous]

My DC is getting the cold shoulder from a classmate that was nice and very friendly when school started. Does this happen to other kids -- is it common in Middle School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was not popular in high school. I guess you may have considered me one of the outcasts. But it turns out that I was a late bloomer.

These kids who blossom in middle and high school can fizzle out pretty early in life. A perfect example was at age 30 I wondered into a diner. By this time I am gainfully employed in my dream job and recently married to a doctor. We sat down and who comes over to wait on us but the queen bee in high school, Patti Miller. Yes, the homecoming queen was serving me my bacon and eggs. Gotta love it.

Not always. My experience has been that those girls I knew who were pretty and popular in middle and high school were still pretty in their 30's and went on to have successful careers. I wasn't popular but wasn't an outcast more just an afterthought and I have run into some girls from high school over the years. They turned out to be nice, normal, pretty, high achieving women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not popular in high school. I guess you may have considered me one of the outcasts. But it turns out that I was a late bloomer.

These kids who blossom in middle and high school can fizzle out pretty early in life. A perfect example was at age 30 I wondered into a diner. By this time I am gainfully employed in my dream job and recently married to a doctor. We sat down and who comes over to wait on us but the queen bee in high school, Patti Miller. Yes, the homecoming queen was serving me my bacon and eggs. Gotta love it.

Not always. My experience has been that those girls I knew who were pretty and popular in middle and high school were still pretty in their 30's and went on to have successful careers. I wasn't popular but wasn't an outcast more just an afterthought and I have run into some girls from high school over the years. They turned out to be nice, normal, pretty, high achieving women.

^^^Signed, Mom of a Queen Bee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not popular in high school. I guess you may have considered me one of the outcasts. But it turns out that I was a late bloomer.

These kids who blossom in middle and high school can fizzle out pretty early in life. A perfect example was at age 30 I wondered into a diner. By this time I am gainfully employed in my dream job and recently married to a doctor. We sat down and who comes over to wait on us but the queen bee in high school, Patti Miller. Yes, the homecoming queen was serving me my bacon and eggs. Gotta love it.

How classist!

Working in a diner is honest labor. As a teacher in Bethesda, I see too many kids who think that having a white collar job is a sign that you are one of God's Chosen People. Perhaps the woman you dislike so much works in a diner because she is charismatic (a good trait in a waiter) and enjoys having time free of paperwork to engage in hobbies or volunteer. Maybe her parents couldn't afford to send her to college.

Right now, I think you're not much different emotionally than my seventh-grade students. Try some self-work to get past high school social drama and recognize that adult blue collar career choices are not karma for adolescent popularity.

I think you grossly underestimate the amount of emotional abuse inflicted by these Queen Bees. They exclude, insult, shun, embarrass those who are not lucky enough to be in THEIR "inner circle" PP has not been plotting revenge for a decade or wishing ill will for Patti. She merely enjoyed a momentary smile at the expense of someone who possibly made her life hell for years.
The Anti-bullying Movement needs to focus on Queen Bees and Mean Girls.

The problem is that PP assumes working in a diner sucks. She has a narrow world view of what meaningful work is. Is that the result of the emotional damage she experienced in HS? If so, she needs therapy. God forbid one of her grandchildren chooses a career that is personally satisfying but doesn't meet PP's standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+100
Who among us hasn't had a momentary thrill when finding out that the high school Queen Bee is quite what she used to be? That doesn't make the PP a bad person - just a human being. The same type of thing once happened to me, and I'm not ashamed to admit I gave in to it and permitted myself a bit of satisfaction.

Me. I don't know who the high school Queen Bee was. There were "popular girls" in my high school -- the ones I know of these days have done as well as anybody else. At least one of them is a doctor. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not popular in high school. I guess you may have considered me one of the outcasts. But it turns out that I was a late bloomer.

These kids who blossom in middle and high school can fizzle out pretty early in life. A perfect example was at age 30 I wondered into a diner. By this time I am gainfully employed in my dream job and recently married to a doctor. We sat down and who comes over to wait on us but the queen bee in high school, Patti Miller. Yes, the homecoming queen was serving me my bacon and eggs. Gotta love it.

How classist!

Working in a diner is honest labor. As a teacher in Bethesda, I see too many kids who think that having a white collar job is a sign that you are one of God's Chosen People. Perhaps the woman you dislike so much works in a diner because she is charismatic (a good trait in a waiter) and enjoys having time free of paperwork to engage in hobbies or volunteer. Maybe her parents couldn't afford to send her to college.

Right now, I think you're not much different emotionally than my seventh-grade students. Try some self-work to get past high school social drama and recognize that adult blue collar career choices are not karma for adolescent popularity.

I think you grossly underestimate the amount of emotional abuse inflicted by these Queen Bees. They exclude, insult, shun, embarrass those who are not lucky enough to be in THEIR "inner circle" PP has not been plotting revenge for a decade or wishing ill will for Patti. She merely enjoyed a momentary smile at the expense of someone who possibly made her life hell for years.
The Anti-bullying Movement needs to focus on Queen Bees and Mean Girls.

The problem is that PP assumes working in a diner sucks. She has a narrow world view of what meaningful work is. Is that the result of the emotional damage she experienced in HS? If so, she needs therapy. God forbid one of her grandchildren chooses a career that is personally satisfying but doesn't meet PP's standards.

OMG. Overanalyze much? Of course there's nothing wrong with working in a diner. But can't you allow someone who was probably bullied and/or shunned by the Queen Bee types during high school, a momentary feeling of satisfaction upon seeing the queen QB in a position where perhaps she's not as powerful as she once was? The OP doesn't need therapy. What she experienced is something any of us would experience. The satisfaction, however fleeting, of actually witnessing karma come full circle. You've had that feeling too, so please don't get all self-righteous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mom of single DD here. Like all generalizations I think this one has a kernel of truth, much as it kills me to admit it. Must be why almost all my mom friends are the mothers of boys only, much to DD's chagrin. "Why do all your friends have boys?" in my experience, they are more relaxed and they have less time for bs politics, which I like.

the one conflict that's come up with another mother was with a mother of 2 girls. She was a total social engineer as described previously - trying to fight her kid's battles etc. I'll go further though and say in my experience, it's mainly SAHMs of girls who social engineer and create cliques - the rest of us are too busy for that kind of bullshit.

*waits for the screams of outrage*

SAHM here. Not outraged, just kind of amused since work status doesn't seem to define the social engineer moms at our school. WOHMs, SAHMs... doesn't seem to matter. The Queen Bee factor doesn't seem to discriminate, at least not based on work status.

Mom of all boys here whose family is heavily involved in an industry that is almost exclusively girl customers.

That poster is dead wrong. This behavior by moms is VERY equally distributed between working moms and stay at home moms.

It is also equally distributed between moms of all girls and moms of mostly sons, particularly in cases where there is more than one son and only one daughter, and the girl is mom's bff and favorite.

It is equally distributed between girly girls and jock type girls. It starts around third grade, sometimes in second with the girls who are more "grown up" or worldly than their peers.

The moms least likely to do this behavior actually are moms of more than three kids. THOSE moms are the ones who are truly too busy to engage in such nonsense.

Don't kid yourself that this is a stay at home vs working mom issue

It clewrly is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of all girls here who doesn't have queen bee in the bunch. In fact, one is suffering greatly due to the social engineering that goes on. Please don't jump to those conclusions.

No, I don't think she means EVERY mom of just girls is like this (we all know plenty who are not like this at all), but that it might be more rare to find that these "types" also have boys.