Really awful meeting with parent. Moving forward tips?

[Anonymous]

This situation happened to someone I know a long time ago... the friend was the child in this case. The friend's dad also met with the teacher and accused the teacher of not doing enough.

Teacher and parent agreed that if the child could meet x goal, then the teacher would give the child more challenging work. In this case, the child met those goals. The child needed a bit of a push, maybe from both the parent and the teacher.

I'm not saying your student is the same as this friend, meaning she just needs a push. But, maybe you can try to address the father's concern by doing something similar: agree upon x goal, and if the child meets those goals, then you would give more challenging work. I think it might be a good compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Seriously? There is nothing identifying here. Teacher is asking for suggestions to improve the situation. I think this is a productive post

If the parent sees this post of course they will recognize themselves in it. Totally unprofessional and possibly job endangering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Teacher here. I agree.

I understand you need a sounding board OP, but I would've spoken to colleagues.

No, I disagree completely. The other colleagues could guess who OP means, whereas no one on DCUM could productively guess - there are a ton of situations like these all over the area! I have a friend who acts this way with teachers about her child (but not the same age) and I've heard of plenty of other parents like this.
This is what online forums are good for.

Colleagues should talk about students in the vast majority of situations. Sometimes one teacher has found a good approach with a student that is a challenge for all the other teachers.

No other parent on DCUM could guess, but if the parents saw this, it would make the relationship even more challenging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Teacher here. I agree.

I understand you need a sounding board OP, but I would've spoken to colleagues.

No, I disagree completely. The other colleagues could guess who OP means, whereas no one on DCUM could productively guess - there are a ton of situations like these all over the area! I have a friend who acts this way with teachers about her child (but not the same age) and I've heard of plenty of other parents like this.
This is what online forums are good for.

Colleagues should talk about students in the vast majority of situations. Sometimes one teacher has found a good approach with a student that is a challenge for all the other teachers.

No other parent on DCUM could guess, but if the parents saw this, it would make the relationship even more challenging.

Highly doubtful that the actual parent would be able to identify themself with such generalized information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Teacher here. I agree.

I understand you need a sounding board OP, but I would've spoken to colleagues.

No, I disagree completely. The other colleagues could guess who OP means, whereas no one on DCUM could productively guess - there are a ton of situations like these all over the area! I have a friend who acts this way with teachers about her child (but not the same age) and I've heard of plenty of other parents like this.
This is what online forums are good for.

Colleagues should talk about students in the vast majority of situations. Sometimes one teacher has found a good approach with a student that is a challenge for all the other teachers.

No other parent on DCUM could guess, but if the parents saw this, it would make the relationship even more challenging.

Highly doubtful that the actual parent would be able to identify themself with such generalized information.

OP quoted herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Seriously? There is nothing identifying here. Teacher is asking for suggestions to improve the situation. I think this is a productive post

I agree. It could be about my son's classmate, a 3rd grader at a private school. There are many parents out there parenting kids just like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

hit a nerve, eh, helicopter parent?

lol

the irony

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Seriously? There is nothing identifying here. Teacher is asking for suggestions to improve the situation. I think this is a productive post

If the parent sees this post of course they will recognize themselves in it. Totally unprofessional and possibly job endangering.

There are thousands of parents who would see themselves in this post.

omg - It's common and totally fucking annoying.

helicopter parent, controlled child (who will no doubt rebel in a dangerous way later), abused teacher
class situation seen again and again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Seriously? There is nothing identifying here. Teacher is asking for suggestions to improve the situation. I think this is a productive post

If the parent sees this post of course they will recognize themselves in it. Totally unprofessional and possibly job endangering.

There are thousands of parents who would see themselves in this post.

omg - It's common and totally fucking annoying.

helicopter parent, controlled child (who will no doubt rebel in a dangerous way later), abused teacher
class situation seen again and again

+100 Lots of parents could see themselves in the described scenario. Not enough information to reveal at all unless someone is trolling their IP numbers, comparing to class lists, .....

[Anonymous]

It would be a good eye opener for the dad if he did manage to recognize himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Seriously? There is nothing identifying here. Teacher is asking for suggestions to improve the situation. I think this is a productive post

If the parent sees this post of course they will recognize themselves in it. Totally unprofessional and possibly job endangering.

There are thousands of parents who would see themselves in this post.

omg - It's common and totally fucking annoying.

helicopter parent, controlled child (who will no doubt rebel in a dangerous way later), abused teacher
class situation seen again and again

Are you serious? The OP detailed a conversation point by point and gave the child's age. If the parent happens on this post they will have a very good idea that is is them, especially if this is the DC area. I am not against teachers going online to ask for advice but it needs to be MUCH more general than this. This post was essentially a vent about a specific conversation with a specific parent. Totally inappropriate to put online.

+100 Lots of parents could see themselves in the described scenario. Not enough information to reveal at all unless someone is trolling their IP numbers, comparing to class lists, .....

[Anonymous]

OP, if you actually are a teacher, and have been one for a long time, as you state, surely you have coworkers or a principal who could advise you better than we could here.

[Anonymous]

What does the student need to do to get As?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Teacher here. I agree.

I understand you need a sounding board OP, but I would've spoken to colleagues.

No, I disagree completely. The other colleagues could guess who OP means, whereas no one on DCUM could productively guess - there are a ton of situations like these all over the area! I have a friend who acts this way with teachers about her child (but not the same age) and I've heard of plenty of other parents like this.
This is what online forums are good for.

Colleagues should talk about students in the vast majority of situations. Sometimes one teacher has found a good approach with a student that is a challenge for all the other teachers.

No other parent on DCUM could guess, but if the parents saw this, it would make the relationship even more challenging.

Highly doubtful that the actual parent would be able to identify themself with such generalized information.

OP quoted herself.

"might be bored, but..." is such a distinctive phrase. Surely no other teacher has used it in a parent meeting recently!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really unprofessional to post such detailed scenarios on the Internet. I would be livid if I as a parent found this.

Teacher here. I agree.

I understand you need a sounding board OP, but I would've spoken to colleagues.

No, I disagree completely. The other colleagues could guess who OP means, whereas no one on DCUM could productively guess - there are a ton of situations like these all over the area! I have a friend who acts this way with teachers about her child (but not the same age) and I've heard of plenty of other parents like this.
This is what online forums are good for.

Colleagues should talk about students in the vast majority of situations. Sometimes one teacher has found a good approach with a student that is a challenge for all the other teachers.

No other parent on DCUM could guess, but if the parents saw this, it would make the relationship even more challenging.

Highly doubtful that the actual parent would be able to identify themself with such generalized information.

OP quoted herself.

"might be bored, but..." is such a distinctive phrase. Surely no other teacher has used it in a parent meeting recently!

OP's title is "moving forward tips" so let's help the OP move forward, shall we?