Is habitual lying a part of ADHD?
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Anonymous
Depends on the kid. Mine had regular braces and fidgeted with the brackets all the time. He knocked off so many. |
Anonymous
| At least they were in his mouth! |
Anonymous
| ADHD kids can lie, but it isn't a diagnostic criteria for goodness sake! |
Anonymous
Not poor character OP- poor impulse control. Mine occasionally lies but like your DS, he's terrible at it. Think about it this way, either your DS is using lies and stealing as a way to meet his needs (more autonomy?), is trying to stay out of trouble, or does not see the big picture. I'm guessing all of the above. I would start with a heart to heart about the dishonesty, talk about what he is hoping to achieve or address by lying and stealing, come up with alternative solutions. Also, I let my son that I will only provide necessary discipline if he comes forward-- he can triple it if he's caught being dishonest. It makes it easier for my son to admit wrongdoing if I make honesty meaningful at any point in the process. |
Anonymous
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"What kind of lying" should be addressed, in addition to "What is lying?"
Your own truth is based on your perception. A kid with ADHD has difficulty in the intake of information. If information comes in warped and garbled and they act based on that warped perception, then how can you call it lying? I have an older brother who lied all the time. Now that I have an ADHD kid, I have come to the realization that my brother probably has undiagnosed ADHD. Not being able to deal with ADHD from that person's perspective really ruins relationships. Take, for a recent example: My brother was at our cousin's brand-new house, checking out her brand-new stove. He decides he'd turn the knob on the stove. He broke it. We all jumped on him. What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you thinking? He said "I just turned it and it did that. It must have been defective" We say- of course it's not defective. You are lying. You must have done something on purpose to break it. Now why would you do such a thing? Moods ruined. Relationships strained. My brother doesn't understand why people are upset at him because it wasn't his intention to break the knob. Now that I've done so much reading on ADHD, symptoms, and just other "stuff" that happens around it, I've realized these possibilities: My brother has issues with impulse control. He turned the knob without thinking. My brother has issues with brain-body connection. His hand doesn't accurately receive the signal from his brain on how much pressure to put on something. Perhaps this is why he breaks things all the time. My brother's "lies" are based on his perception- He only turned the knob. I didn't do anything wrong. It broke. Why are people mad at me? Then there's the short term memory issue. Next time he comes over to my cousin's house, he would have forgotten that he broke the knob and he'll do the same thing again. This is the same thing that was happening with my child. We were getting angry at her for not being able to control her impulses. My child is medicated. My brother is not. My child has shown huge improvement with being able to control her impulses, but what has helped a lot more, is that I understand what "lying" may be. It's lying to us, but it's not to them. So it really depends on what you are calling lying. In our house now, we do not ever accuse anyone of lying. It puts people at a defensive state. Instead, we talk about what may have happened. |
Anonymous
Repetitive lying and stealing = impulse control issues. Yes - these questions are on the Conner and Vanderbuilt rating tests. ADHD is a spectrum disorder and there are many diagnostic symptoms. For my DD who is ADHD inattentive, no I did not see lying and stealing behavior. For my DS who displayed hyperactive and impulsive behavior, yes stealing and lying was part of the mix. Two ADHD kids in the same family with different issues. For my son, being consistent with consequences was key. Making him own up to what he did and apologizing face to face with the person in wrong made an impact. His boy scout troupe even took a trip to the Detention Center and he was put behind the bars to see what jail felt like. When he saw that the outcome made him feel worse than getting the object he desired, he stopped stealing. Setting up positive rewards like ways he could earn and work for what he wants also gave him a good path to follow for the outcome he desired. |
Anonymous
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Yeah, it's a major problem with us for my 6-year old ADHD impulsive type. Here's the scenario --- sibling gets candy in a gift bag at a party. Sibling puts bag down in kitchen and walks away. ADHD kid steals sibling's candy, eats it all in secret. When asked, ADHD kid says no, didn't do it. Candy wrappers found in bedroom, chocolate in kid's teeth.
The PP that said it's because the parents are overly restrictive don't really get impulse control issues, I think. Our kid has sweets every day. He will still take more candy, if he sees it because, hey -- who doesn't want more candy? Unless I were to buy several Costco size vats and just let him eat candy until he throws up, he just does not have the impulse control to NOT eat the candy. The candy is just one example. He broke something the other day. I went to go get something to clean it up, and he hid the evidence while I was out of the room (making it 10x harder to clean up). Did it make any sense? No. He didn't want to see the evidence of what he broke, so he swept it under the rug (pretty much literally). Then when I asked him if I did something to the mess, he said no. (Dumb question -- I immediately then corrected to "Just tell me what you did with it. I just want to clean it up.") Everyone might get that impulse (just make it go away so I can forget I broke it!) but most of us ignore it. When confronted with having done something dumb, most of us have a fleeting impulse to say "No, I didn't do that." Etc. It's really, really difficult. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be thrilled to hear them. (And, yes, he's medicated.) |
Anonymous
| OP how old is the child? |
Anonymous
| Poor self esteem is usually behind it. I'd have him see a child psychologist for an evaluation. BTDT but too late for my ADHD inattentive 19 year old. Now we're playing catch up on so many levels. |
Anonymous
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I'm a teacher. I don't see lying and ADHD as comorbidities at all. I think the lying is a coping mechanism. I have students who lie to their parents each night about homework assignment due dates and completion. Then, they turn around and tell me a different lie the next morning at school. They are absolutely devastated when they are caught.
I try to be gentle with them and let them save face. Being a tween and teen is hard enough. Add SN to that and you have a tough middle school journey. But then, I worry that I'm just feeding the habit. Right now, I'm in an email back and forth with a mother who is convinced that I just assigned a multi-step research poster today and it is due tomorrow. It flies in the face of all logic and the evidence I sent her from Edline, but she believes her child. |
Anonymous
It has nothing to do with self esteem. |
Anonymous
Impulse control is a part of it, though, so I'd want to know if the kid lies impulsively or carefully. |
Anonymous
| Why are you asking this forum, and not your pediatrician? |
Anonymous
| My adhd kid doesn't do that. |
Anonymous
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http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DXGzKU1iSUU/ULOoZRmfXsI/AAAAAAAAAMk/WIHiFbg2_hQ/s1600/adhd.jpg
Lying and low self esteem in ADHD kids |