Was I wrong to let DS to spend three weeks in Europe with his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care what other people think, especially given that you say everything went well?

OP here. I care because it has made me question my decision to let him go.

Be more confident in your choices. You know your son better than the randos you've encountered.

I'm not sure why the details of the trip are really being discussed anyway. Why are you telling all these people that they had "more alone time" than was planned? Why is it their business? At 17 it's barely YOUR business.

OP here and I am not discussing details of his trip - DS is. Just in telling about the various places he and the girlfriend went and what they did, it is evident that they were alone. I agree 100% it is his business, including whether or not he is sexually active, but my question is whether or not we made the right decision in letting him go.

And 10 pps told you to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care what other people think, especially given that you say everything went well?

OP here. I care because it has made me question my decision to let him go.

Be more confident in your choices. You know your son better than the randos you've encountered.

I'm not sure why the details of the trip are really being discussed anyway. Why are you telling all these people that they had "more alone time" than was planned? Why is it their business? At 17 it's barely YOUR business.

OP here and I am not discussing details of his trip - DS is. Just in telling about the various places he and the girlfriend went and what they did, it is evident that they were alone. I agree 100% it is his business, including whether or not he is sexually active, but my question is whether or not we made the right decision in letting him go.

And 10 pps told you to let it go.

Yes, I am a happy about that. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing. By the time I was 18 I had visited France, Sweden, England, Germany, Kenya, and New Zealand without my parents through various organized trips and friends. It was a great experience, contributed to my independence and confidence in myself and my abilities, and I've been a traveler ever since.

As far as the sex goes, you're right it could have happened here or anywhere. He's 17. You are doing the right thing allowing him to take advantage of great opportunities.

[Anonymous]

NP here - to all those supporting this decision, would you feel the same if a seventeen year old daughter was going to Europe to visit her boyfriend and his extended family for three weeks? Remember this is a family that OP has never laid eyes on before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - to all those supporting this decision, would you feel the same if a seventeen year old daughter was going to Europe to visit her boyfriend and his extended family for three weeks? Remember this is a family that OP has never laid eyes on before.

Good point.

I don't disagree that letting him go was the right decision, but they absolutely positively did have sex. That was probably the main reason he wanted to go. That's how all 17 y/o boys think, regardless of how their mothers raised them. Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive.

[Anonymous]

You gave your son a once in a lifetime experience. He will be talking about this trip for the rest of his life, and trust me - h e's grateful. He sounds like a wonderful young man, and it sounds like you are a good parent.

You did the right thing. Ignore the raised eyebrows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - to all those supporting this decision, would you feel the same if a seventeen year old daughter was going to Europe to visit her boyfriend and his extended family for three weeks? Remember this is a family that OP has never laid eyes on before.

Depending on the girl, I think I would be ok with it. However, we'd be discussing the sex. I'm not so sure I agree that minors' sex at this age isn't the parents' business - there's an awful lot of grandparents raising their grandkids out there, which certainly makes it their business. At any rate, I would assume that sex was on the table and make sure they were set up with whatever they needed to be as safe as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 17 and a good kid. This summer his girlfriend went to Europe for summer school and to visit relatives. DS was home and took a college course and worked full-time. For the last three weeks of the summer, DS flew over to spend with the girlfriend and her family. It was his first trip to Europe and he paid for the plane ticket himself. He came back, had an amazing time, and all is well... or so I thought...

However, now everyone is raising eyebrows that we allowed DS to go. While it did turn out that they had more alone time than I thought they would, I still think it was a great experience for him. He and the girlfriend are close/serious but still planning to attend colleges on different coasts.

Were we wrong? Yes, it has occurred to us that they may have had sex but that could have happened at home as well.

That will be a forever memory for him. It is not whether they stay together or not. It is living in the now. Sounds like the perfect way to end a summer before college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - to all those supporting this decision, would you feel the same if a seventeen year old daughter was going to Europe to visit her boyfriend and his extended family for three weeks? Remember this is a family that OP has never laid eyes on before.

I have a 14yr old daughter and I would let her go to Europe with her boyfriend's family the summer before starting college. And she too would be 17yrs old. I would have to meet them though but that is me as a parent. I would just make sure my daughter was on the pill first, if not already.

[Anonymous]

I never would have let my kid go. He is a teen. Of course they had sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never would have let my kid go. He is a teen. Of course they had sex.

So? He's going off to college and will be more alone there. Raise your kids right and send them off.

[Anonymous]

Let's just hope he doesn't become a teenage papa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never would have let my kid go. He is a teen. Of course they had sex.

So? He's going off to college and will be more alone there. Raise your kids right and send them off.

So? I accept the sex but i would not be okay with so much unspervised time.

Teen can travel with the family. Not some piece of ass.

Why is this a "once in a lifetime"? My teens have been to europe with us several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never would have let my kid go. He is a teen. Of course they had sex.

So? He's going off to college and will be more alone there. Raise your kids right and send them off.

So? I accept the sex but i would not be okay with so much unspervised time.

Teen can travel with the family. Not some piece of ass.

Why is this a "once in a lifetime"? My teens have been to europe with us several times.

Will your kids live at home during college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never would have let my kid go. He is a teen. Of course they had sex.

So? He's going off to college and will be more alone there. Raise your kids right and send them off.

So? I accept the sex but i would not be okay with so much unspervised time.

Teen can travel with the family. Not some piece of ass.

Why is this a "once in a lifetime"? My teens have been to europe with us several times.

I think going to europe with your parents would be a very different experience than going with your girlfriend or boyfriend. I know which one I'd prefer! Also, 3 weeks is a longer time than most family vacations have allotted.