I'm a teen, and I'm struggling to come to terms with my sexuality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, honey, you do need some help, guidance and someone to talk to, but not the type you're going to find here. This group is very pro-gay and will push you in that direction, all under the guise of "yay for you," at 13 or 14, having the freedom to "experiment" and "celebrate" who you are.

Please don't fall into that trap. It's a world of lies that could affect you for the rest of your life.

First question someone should be asking: Where are your parents? Have you talked to them about this and if not, why not? What is your home life relationship like?

For the love of all that is holy, ignore this post/er.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Because this poster clearly is the only person on the planet who chose her sexuality - that's why. Oh, wait, did you do that too? There's TWO of you? Wow . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, honey, you do need some help, guidance and someone to talk to, but not the type you're going to find here. This group is very pro-gay and will push you in that direction, all under the guise of "yay for you," at 13 or 14, having the freedom to "experiment" and "celebrate" who you are.

Please don't fall into that trap. It's a world of lies that could affect you for the rest of your life.

First question someone should be asking: Where are your parents? Have you talked to them about this and if not, why not? What is your home life relationship like?

Please go back to Oklahoma and stop talking to children. Or anyone, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

OP, people come in a lot of varieties as far as sexuality goes. Some people can be attracted to both men and women, so you don't have to decide for a long time whether you're gay or straight. Enjoy your own social life, see lots of people, and eventually it will become clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because this poster clearly is the only person on the planet who chose her sexuality - that's why. Oh, wait, did you do that too? There's TWO of you? Wow . . .

She's choosing now. What do you think "experimenting" means?

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because this poster clearly is the only person on the planet who chose her sexuality - that's why. Oh, wait, did you do that too? There's TWO of you? Wow . . .

She's choosing now. What do you think "experimenting" means?

The OP never said that she was experimenting.

[Anonymous]

It's not a choice. Did you choose yours, 1922?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're very articulate for a teen. Are you sure you're not trolling us?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You're very articulate for a teen. Are you sure you're not trolling us?

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like my DD - maybe you are.

In any case, you sound thoughtful. I am sure your mom was a little scared of how others would react to this. However, moms, in general, get over this fear and will always protect their young. You should try talking to her again. Society only recently began accepting LGBT. So, of course, moms are going to be worried about your well-being. But, give her another chance to listen. You'll be surprised

I have found that froyo works wonders. Perhaps a froyo outing is what you and your mom need. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

It's ok to have a crush on a girl. It's ok to later want to keep dating girls, or date boys, or go back and forth. You know your parents better than we do, so you know what it's safe and comfortable to tell them. I don't think kids need to tell their parents about crushes. If you think your parent will give good advice, you can tell them. Don't rush into things. Be safe. I wish you all the best.

--a lady who was a lot like you, 17 years ago (and who dated mostly women but one man, is happily married to a woman, and whose parents after a long while are pretty ok with the situation)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ok to have a crush on a girl. It's ok to later want to keep dating girls, or date boys, or go back and forth. You know your parents better than we do, so you know what it's safe and comfortable to tell them. I don't think kids need to tell their parents about crushes. If you think your parent will give good advice, you can tell them. Don't rush into things. Be safe. I wish you all the best.

--a lady who was a lot like you, 17 years ago (and who dated mostly women but one man, is happily married to a woman, and whose parents after a long while are pretty ok with the situation)

I have a similar experience, although my parents were more accepting from the beginning. I second this advice. If kids at your school are very homophobic, you can decide to stay in the closet until you get to college. If you come out to a trusted friend who goes to the same school, be prepared for him/her to be unable to keep quiet about it. There are a lot off LGBT youth support groups so you can find an outlet if your school environment is not so great. I had a rough couple of years of high school, and am now happily married to another woman and we have a kid. I think butterflies and daydreaming about girls is a pretty strong indication that you're not straight. That said, you may find later that some guys turn you on. When you're older and ready to date, don't settle for anyone who doesn't treat you well.

[Anonymous]

Some kids know they're gay when they're in middle school; others are confused and go through stages.

In your case, I don't think there's a need to push anything here. Just make friends and try to "be."

Leave it alone, OP. Try not to think about it. 9th grade (where you're heading, yes?) is hard enough w/o having to add that pressure to your life. Focus on your classes and involve yourself in extracurriculars. And while there are LGBT groups at most high schools, I wouldn't just jump in right away.

I grew up with a good friend (who later died of AIDS) who was pegged as gay from the time he was 5 years old. He never came out to family but did come out to friends. And having taught HS for many years, I've seen kids float back and forth btw sexes for whatever reason. So the LGBT community isn't foreign to me.

Sexuality is a continuum. Some stay in the middle all of their lives; others float toward the ends of the spectrum.

Just don't get so wrapped up in it that you lose sight of your studies. And remember 1) that good friends won't judge you and 2) there are always adults who can be supportive if you need to talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

--a lady who was a lot like you, 17 years ago (and who dated mostly women but one man, is happily married to a woman, and whose parents after a long while are pretty ok with the situation)

I was always straight myself, but I have friends who dated women in college and who are now happily married to men. Human sexuality is complicated.

[Anonymous]

Life is easier straight.