Sister won't leave island home for funeral.

[Anonymous]

Just be happy that you have somewhere to stay when you want to vacation in the Caribbean and you don't have to pony up for a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be any number of things. Budget, different grieving process, doesn't put importance to funerals, dealing with major issues.......

agreed. Don't forget that last minute plane tickets aren't cheap.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is taking care of her own mental health first. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

I know it isn't the family that she doesn't like because she asks me every time we chat if I want to come visit. She offers to even pay for our plane tickets. We never accept because it's not the money but we aren't able to just leave work and go. We told her we will come in September.

She said its the weather and politics of this country that depress her and she can stand to be here. The deceased is a young cousin of ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about seeing me. She didn't want to come for holidays and other events because of this same reason. I think it's kind of selfish.

The only person whose behavior and feelings you can control are your own. If you want, you can have a real conversation with her to ask why she finds coming back to the U.S. So depressing, that's a legitimate conversation - try to understand HER feelings rather than slapping your own onto her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it isn't the family that she doesn't like because she asks me every time we chat if I want to come visit. She offers to even pay for our plane tickets. We never accept because it's not the money but we aren't able to just leave work and go. We told her we will come in September.

She said its the weather and politics of this country that depress her and she can stand to be here. The deceased is a young cousin of ours.

It is none of your business whether she comes. She has decided not to. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it isn't the family that she doesn't like because she asks me every time we chat if I want to come visit. She offers to even pay for our plane tickets. We never accept because it's not the money but we aren't able to just leave work and go. We told her we will come in September.

She said its the weather and politics of this country that depress her and she can stand to be here. The deceased is a young cousin of ours.

It is none of your business whether she comes. She has decided not to. Get over it.

But it is selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it isn't the family that she doesn't like because she asks me every time we chat if I want to come visit. She offers to even pay for our plane tickets. We never accept because it's not the money but we aren't able to just leave work and go. We told her we will come in September.

She said its the weather and politics of this country that depress her and she can stand to be here. The deceased is a young cousin of ours.

It is none of your business whether she comes. She has decided not to. Get over it.

But it is selfish.

No, it's selfish to keep forcing it. And unless I missed it you still haven't said who the deceased is in relation to the sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it isn't the family that she doesn't like because she asks me every time we chat if I want to come visit. She offers to even pay for our plane tickets. We never accept because it's not the money but we aren't able to just leave work and go. We told her we will come in September.

She said its the weather and politics of this country that depress her and she can stand to be here. The deceased is a young cousin of ours.

It is none of your business whether she comes. She has decided not to. Get over it.

But it is selfish.

So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it isn't the family that she doesn't like because she asks me every time we chat if I want to come visit. She offers to even pay for our plane tickets. We never accept because it's not the money but we aren't able to just leave work and go. We told her we will come in September.

She said its the weather and politics of this country that depress her and she can stand to be here. The deceased is a young cousin of ours.

It is none of your business whether she comes. She has decided not to. Get over it.

But it is selfish.

And? What if it is? They aren't handing out any prizes at the end of our lives for Least Selfish or Biggest Martyr or the like. The worst you can do is throw the selfish accusation at her but it doesn't seem like she cares, and good for her! So you can waste time stewing about how selfish you think she is or you can attend to your own life. Like she's doing.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure I'd head back to the states for the funeral of a cousin unless I was close to them.

[Anonymous]

I think it's selfish to force YOUR expectations onto your sister. Your sister isn't hurting anyone, OP. Leave her be.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she has worked this through, and knows what she is doing for her best interest. I never understand why people think others need to follow their rules.

Instead of telling your sister what she should do, take her up on the offer and go visit her!

[Anonymous]

Let it go, OP. For whatever reason, your sister has decided not to spend time in the U.S. In the future, I'd tell her about family events, invite her to come, and then let her know (in an honest but not overwrought way) that you're disappointed she can't come, then move on with your life. If you want to spend time with her, sounds like you're going to have to budget some money for tropical vacations (not a bad thing!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she can't afford it and is embarrassed to tell you that.

+1