In-laws left kids with sitter - ok or not?

[Anonymous]

I assume this is a babysitter you haven't met previously, yes? If so, I wouldn't be very happy about it, but I would just politely ask that if they need a sitter in the future, if they could let us know ahead of time so we can jointly vet the person.

If it was a long trusted person who I knew, then it'd be fine. There's a wonderful woman who used to babysit us and my parents are still in touch with her. If they needed a sitter and had asked her to come over, I'd be fine with that without needing to know ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't understand what is the big deal.

+1

[Anonymous]

Let it goooooooo

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can get too mad about it this time, but now you need to get on the same page. I'd ask to OK a sitter in advance just as you do at home. I'd let DH take the lead on this.

And you may now know what too much of the kids is for your in laws, so for better or for worse you should probably plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

OP here - they asked to take the kids for a few days (which we LOVE obviously) and they're about an hour away.

If they'd told me in advance is probably have been okay with it? I might have asked how long they knew the sitter and who it was - like is it a lifelong friend or some lady they heard about from a neighbor?

I'm sort of torn. I'm pretty careful about who I leave my kids with, but I get that they're a ton of work. As an aside, they have a history of doing things I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. Like bringing a 2 year old home with sparkler burns or putting my tiny 7 year old in the front seat of a pickup without a booster.

[Anonymous]

^ I would not be okay with that. I don't leave my children in the care of strangers.

[Anonymous]

Having people take care of your kids does not mean that you just have to be ok with everything that goes on.

If my kids were really little btwn 0-5, is be really mad.

I'd be more mad though about the booster seat in the front.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed. They asked to host your kids and they presumably have 362 days a year to go out for dinner, there's no reason for them to have to do it while they have your kids. And no communication about it? Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - they asked to take the kids for a few days (which we LOVE obviously) and they're about an hour away.

If they'd told me in advance is probably have been okay with it? I might have asked how long they knew the sitter and who it was - like is it a lifelong friend or some lady they heard about from a neighbor?

I'm sort of torn. I'm pretty careful about who I leave my kids with, but I get that they're a ton of work. As an aside, they have a history of doing things I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. Like bringing a 2 year old home with sparkler burns or putting my tiny 7 year old in the front seat of a pickup without a booster.

I would not have been ok with it given who knows who the sitter is. They only had the kids a few nights, no reason for a sitter. They could have had you come up to watch the kids if they had something important to do.

[Anonymous]

I assume this is a babysitter you haven't met previously, yes? If so, I wouldn't be very happy about it, but I would just politely ask that if they need a sitter in the future, if they could let us know ahead of time so we can jointly vet the person.

If it was a long trusted person who I knew, then it'd be fine. There's a wonderful woman who used to babysit us and my parents are still in touch with her. If they needed a sitter and had asked her to come over, I'd be fine with that without needing to know ahead of time.

I agree, that is how I would feel about it as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - they asked to take the kids for a few days (which we LOVE obviously) and they're about an hour away.

If they'd told me in advance is probably have been okay with it? I might have asked how long they knew the sitter and who it was - like is it a lifelong friend or some lady they heard about from a neighbor?

I'm sort of torn. I'm pretty careful about who I leave my kids with, but I get that they're a ton of work. As an aside, they have a history of doing things I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. Like bringing a 2 year old home with sparkler burns or putting my tiny 7 year old in the front seat of a pickup without a booster.

I think that the two examples you give are so much more egregious than leaving the kids with a sitter. I actually don't think you can make the argument that you are careful about your kids care if you let them go with grandparents in this case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed. They asked to host your kids and they presumably have 362 days a year to go out for dinner, there's no reason for them to have to do it while they have your kids. And no communication about it? Bizarre.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - they asked to take the kids for a few days (which we LOVE obviously) and they're about an hour away.

If they'd told me in advance is probably have been okay with it? I might have asked how long they knew the sitter and who it was - like is it a lifelong friend or some lady they heard about from a neighbor?

I'm sort of torn. I'm pretty careful about who I leave my kids with, but I get that they're a ton of work. As an aside, they have a history of doing things I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. Like bringing a 2 year old home with sparkler burns or putting my tiny 7 year old in the front seat of a pickup without a booster.

I would not have let them watch my kids ever after the booster thing.

[Anonymous]

I'd be extremely upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - they asked to take the kids for a few days (which we LOVE obviously) and they're about an hour away.

If they'd told me in advance is probably have been okay with it? I might have asked how long they knew the sitter and who it was - like is it a lifelong friend or some lady they heard about from a neighbor?

I'm sort of torn. I'm pretty careful about who I leave my kids with, but I get that they're a ton of work. As an aside, they have a history of doing things I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. Like bringing a 2 year old home with sparkler burns or putting my tiny 7 year old in the front seat of a pickup without a booster.

I would not have let them watch my kids ever after the booster thing.

+1. Strike 3--they're out. I would not leave my children with them again. Find another sitter that you can trust.