My daughter ALREADY wants to transfer. OMG.
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Anonymous
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Nope, nope, nope. Do not give in to this nonsense.
Our daughter did the same thing -- everybody on the facebook page is weird, I'm not going to find anybody to hang out with at my school, moaning and groaning. Thankfully her older brother called her and told her to wise up. He told her that only weirdos post on facebook pages for their school and that it's a poor representation of what you're actually going to meet and that there will be lots of normal people there. Your daughter just needs to get over herself. |
Anonymous
| I wish I had transferred. It worked out fine in the end, I guess, but I missed out on the whole college experience because mine wasn't a good fit, and I feel like most of the almost 200k was wasted. There were places I would have thrived, but my college wasn't one of them. |
Anonymous
| No real advice for you, OP. I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to this as our kids have been known to grumble and have second thoughts about things like this and it is hell to be the parent and live though all of this drama. In most cases it has all worked out, and even in the few instances where there was a legitimate problem it's all worked out in hindsight. Hang in there. This will pass! |
Anonymous
| Why did she pick school A over the runner up in the first place? Focus on that and remind her what it was that made her want to attend. She can always transfer after she gives it a try. |
Anonymous
| Transfer now. She has not started yet -- you mean Fall of 2015 right? Why wait? |
Anonymous
You need to travel more. Chicago is pretty dense with universities and colleges than the DC Metro area. There are multiple choices at every level of difficulty, form exceptional 2year places great at pre-med, pre-engineering, to art colleges, the University of Illin. Says, the private universities like DePaul, Loyola, University of Chicago and Northwestern. These are just a few. I'm fairly certain at least one of these places would be fun |
Anonymous
| Why is she still in the Facebook group for the other school? That's just a recipe for second-guessing yourself. She needs to quit that Facebook page, and work on fully immersing herself at the school she chose. If she gives it a fair shot and is still unhappy, then support her in applying to transfer to the other school. But if she's already halfway out the door before she even arrives, she's not even going to try to enjoy it. |
Anonymous
| My DD also talked about transferring at one point during the summer before she started college. She ended up being very happy at her school. I think this is a normal cold feet reaction to taking a very big life step. Don't indulge it, and don;t over react. Just tell her when she brings it up that she can transfer after her first year. She probably won;t want to, but if she does you should let her, at that point. And she should get off that other facebook group. |
Anonymous
| Mine considered transferring before he started (was waitlisted at several top choices so hadn't quite accepted the choice he made). Now you couldn't make him leave if you tried. It will likely work out but if it doesn't she always has the option to transfer. And my kids laughed at what people posted in the Facebook groups. Not representative. |
Anonymous
| I have sent 3 to college and ALL of them expressed some "jitters" the summer before. As PP said, it is an emotionally fragile time for them and you. Try not to fall victim to the emotions. I had one to say "If I did not play X sport, I never would have agreed to go to X school." Well, career ending injury in freshman year. We asked her if, now the she was not playing X sport, she wanted to transfer. She reacted as if we had just asked her to do the most disgusting thing ever. She got on campus, made friends, found her niche and was in her groove. But she needed the time to see if it was a fit. With your DD, I would be encouraging and urge her to give it time. If she is still unhappy after the first semester, than you can revisit. |
Anonymous
| Let her know college is not for fun...it is a serious and expensive endeavor to help her prepare for her future. I had to go to a commuter school because it is all I could afford since my dad wouldn't sign for loans. It was not fun. But, I am successful. |
Anonymous
Above poster is kind of harsh, but I just wanted to second the bit about WHO is posting on the FB page. My DD would definitely agree that the FB posters were NOT representative of the students at her college. FB page seemed to attract the most self important/obnoxious ones. |
Anonymous
My DCs thought the FB page attracted the kids who were hoping to reinvent themselves in college and were trying too hard to be "cool". |
Anonymous
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agree that this is probably just cold feet. And a great chance for you to model how adults make major decisions, and how they handle the buyer's remorse stage that often comes afterwards.
One small trick. Try not to play the "but you chose that school because *thing she said last month*!" As someone who used to get a lot of this feeling, I always found my reasons sounded extra dumb when spoken by someone else. Make her restate what her reasons were in her own words. |
Anonymous
| 16:20 again. better yet, get her to write them down. |