Nephew broke my cell phone screen. Deduct repair from his graduation gift?
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Anonymous
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I'm going to break with the pack here and say sure, why not? As usual I don't get all the bullying around here. The OP bashing is out of control on this site.
A 19 year old shouldn't be going through anybody's purse, shouldn't be using anyone's phone without asking, and sure as hell shouldn't be shattering it. And if he DOES do all those things? 19 is absolutely old enough to know he should offer to pay for it, then do so. Deduct it, OP. You would not be in the wrong, DCUM scolds and sanctimommies notwithstanding. |
Anonymous
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I think that you're in the right for expecting him to have some responsibility for it, especially since he took it without permission.
If it was me, I'd rather get it all sorted out as a separate issue (talk to nephew or sibling who is the parent to see what happened and say that I was bothered by the inconvenience and expense), but if deducting the amount from your gift makes more sense then do it. Totally fine IMO. Out of curiosity, would you let him know somehow that the original amount would have been higher or just write the check and leave it at that? |
Anonymous
| If you already had the screen repaired, then it was likely to break again anyway. The after-market repairs don't hold up as well as the original because of how they bond the glass to the device. |
Anonymous
| If people break my stuff without offering to make it right, I feel less kindly towards them and so, naturally, I'd be inclined to give a less generous gift. It's not the repair money, it's the lack of respect towards me and my property. |
Anonymous
| Give him $25 for graduation and don't let him near your stuff again. |
Anonymous
| If he felt really bad about it, then I would not deduct the repair costs from his graduation gift. If he was like whatever, then I probably wouldn't bother giving him a gift. |
Anonymous
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Don't give him a gift at all, just a card.
But also, don't TELL him you were going to give him a gift. Just deduct it and say nothing about the phone. (Don't give him a gift and then expect him to repay you for the phone, because I'll tell you right now you won't get your money. If he was going to repay you he would already have offered to do so.) |
Anonymous
| No. |
Anonymous
| You sound like a douche, OP. |
Anonymous
| Make the gift $200. Don't mention you did it to partly pay for the repair. The time to discuss the screen breaking has passed so let it go. Get your screen fixed and get a better case. |
Anonymous
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Were you as pissed at yourself when you broke it?
A phone is something both of you will forget in a year His aunt being an ass about his graduation will sting forever. |
Anonymous
Good. He needs to feel a sting. Maybe that will remind him that he was an asshole for breaking her phone. Give him nothing. |
Anonymous
He didn't take it without permission. He was pulling his mother's shoes out of OP's purse and then phone came out along with them and fell and broke. It wasn't nefarious, it was clumsy. Sister and nephew should have offered to repair, but that's a separate issue from the graduation gift. OP, I know you are pissed today, but if you look back on this in five years are you going to think it was a shining moment for you to change your graduation gift? The high road usually feels better in the long run, even if it doesn't right now. |
Anonymous
How has "the time" passed? He broke the phone yesterday. I'd still be mad about it for a couple of weeks at least. She can, and should, tell both him and his parents that she expects him to replace it. |
Anonymous
In five years the nephew will still be an obnoxious narcissist and she'll still wish she had her $250 back. It is not "the low road" to make him pay for his mistake one way or another, including by withholding a gift that he doesn't even know is his. Reduce the gift significantly. It is too much anyway. I wouldn't give more than $25. |