Wife Bonuses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So heres something I will never admit in real life. In my early 20s I dated a married man. He was really wealthy and gave out wads of cash often. He would say things like "go shopping on me" or "try ABC spa and think of me" or " why don't you go look at cars". It was his exit tool, one that probably worked on many women before and after me. I just decided to hoard the cash. I put it in an account and when we broke up it was around 33k ("dated" for about 2 years). I invested it in a risky tech start up a few years later (mid 90s) and got fairly lucky. I bought a house and have never had a mortgage all because of my whore self.

Well, as long as the man never left his wife and you didn't pressure him to do so and he used a condom, I say go on with your whore self.

[Anonymous]

We have a lot of wealthy friends who live in that area of NY, and I have never heard of such a thing. It sounds so ridiculous that I tend to believe the author made it up. She certainly can't hide her contempt for her neighbors. Hope she is planning a move.

[Anonymous]

This is dangerously close to prostitution.

[Anonymous]

I thought the article was a little wobbly, but I am a SAHM and my DH always gives a me a percentage of his yearly bonus, to spend or save as I want. This has never changed based on my "performance".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the article was a little wobbly, but I am a SAHM and my DH always gives a me a percentage of his yearly bonus, to spend or save as I want. This has never changed based on my "performance".

I don't understand this 'give me some of his money'. It's both of your money; you staying home allows him to focus on work, you are a team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the article was a little wobbly, but I am a SAHM and my DH always gives a me a percentage of his yearly bonus, to spend or save as I want. This has never changed based on my "performance".

Does he give you 50%? This is what disturbed me about the article - legally your husband's bonus earned during your marriage is not "his" bonus but rather a marital asset and as such should be divided 50/50 (or would be so divided in divorce). These women are selling themselves way short in the context of their contribution to home/family/relationship and the article did not help me to understand why. self-confidence? lack of ambition? lack of confidence that the legal system would treat them any better in divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the article was a little wobbly, but I am a SAHM and my DH always gives a me a percentage of his yearly bonus, to spend or save as I want. This has never changed based on my "performance".

I don't understand this 'give me some of his money'. It's both of your money; you staying home allows him to focus on work, you are a team.

That doesn't make it her money, per the IRS.

[Anonymous]

My best friend is a SAHM and she is paid a salary by her DH. It's a safety net that she banks. I don't think she gets a percentage of his yearly bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the article was a little wobbly, but I am a SAHM and my DH always gives a me a percentage of his yearly bonus, to spend or save as I want. This has never changed based on my "performance".

I don't understand this 'give me some of his money'. It's both of your money; you staying home allows him to focus on work, you are a team.

That doesn't make it her money, per the IRS.

I thought she was entitled to half?

And so if her DH doesn't pay taxes the Irs wouldn't touch her funds??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend is a SAHM and she is paid a salary by her DH. It's a safety net that she banks. I don't think she gets a percentage of his yearly bonus.

This can't be freaking real.

[Anonymous]

Wealthy people don't like to be put under a microscope in the same way that an anthropologist or social worker might look at the dynamics of a tribal society in New Guinea or a poorer community in Appalachia. They think they are above it all. Occasionally, someone comes along with an article or study like this that points out they have their own norms and rituals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend is a SAHM and she is paid a salary by her DH. It's a safety net that she banks. I don't think she gets a percentage of his yearly bonus.

Safety net from what? Divorce? Sad to have to plan for that... But doesn't she get half of all income anyway, barring prenup?

[Anonymous]

insanely sad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Burned SAHM here, who has an advanced degree. As someone who was cast aside when she got older and sagged, and who was replaced by a younger woman, I wholeheartedly second this recommendation

So women....do age like milk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the article was a little wobbly, but I am a SAHM and my DH always gives a me a percentage of his yearly bonus, to spend or save as I want. This has never changed based on my "performance".

I don't understand this 'give me some of his money'. It's both of your money; you staying home allows him to focus on work, you are a team.

Yes, we're a team and I am not my husband's hired help. I'm not providing a "service", I'm his wife.