Asexual child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Seems like there's a lot of pressure to declare oneself. So, the uninitiated, who want to buy themselves a little time, end up calling themselves asexual?

I would not be the least bit concerned if my kid had no interest in a sexual relationship with another person at the age of 18. But never having masturbated or had any sex drive at all would worry me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone's child ever come out to them as asexual? Going thru this right now with soon-to-be 18 year old girl.

My now-grown son told me he was asexual when he was 17. As far as I know, he's not even interested in masturbating (I didn't ask, but there was never any sign when he was adolescent). He seems perfectly happy the way he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Seems like there's a lot of pressure to declare oneself. So, the uninitiated, who want to buy themselves a little time, end up calling themselves asexual?

I would not be the least bit concerned if my kid had no interest in a sexual relationship with another person at the age of 18. But never having masturbated or had any sex drive at all would worry me.

I would have rather the floor open up and swallow me whole than admit to my parents what I did with those candles at night. At any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Seems like there's a lot of pressure to declare oneself. So, the uninitiated, who want to buy themselves a little time, end up calling themselves asexual?

I would not be the least bit concerned if my kid had no interest in a sexual relationship with another person at the age of 18. But never having masturbated or had any sex drive at all would worry me.

I would have rather the floor open up and swallow me whole than admit to my parents what I did with those candles at night. At any age.

OP's daughter came to her and told her she was asexual. Masturbation was bound to be a topic of discussion. No, I never spoke to my parents about masturbation but I also never declared myself to be asexual either.

[Anonymous]

I am a 43 year old asexual woman. I have adopted kids and while I would like a relationship, I know that it is unlikely anybody would want to date me.

OP, please dont take your child to a psychologist. That is demeaning and dismissive. She trusted you enough to tell you, so simply continue to love, accept, and support her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 43 year old asexual woman. I have adopted kids and while I would like a relationship, I know that it is unlikely anybody would want to date me.

OP, please dont take your child to a psychologist. That is demeaning and dismissive. She trusted you enough to tell you, so simply continue to love, accept, and support her.

+1000

But I would also tell her that our sexuality changes throughout our lives. One can be asexual at 18, straight at 25, bisexual at 35, gay at 40, polyamorous at 20, happily monogamous at 30, joyfully single at 45. And the people who truly love and understand you, especially your mother, would never think less of you because you once used to identify differently.

[Anonymous]

This thread is so sad. Unless you sincerely suspect a medical issue, I agree with 20:59. Love, accept, support. She may change and she may not. There is a lot more to life than sex!

[Anonymous]

http://www.asexuality.org/home/ is a good resource for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality.

A lot more people are asexual than you'd think. Asexuality is often misunderstood. For example, not all asexuals are exactly the same. Some have no sex drive, ever. Some masturbate, but have no desire for sex with another person. Some are totally repulsed by sex, others are willing to have sex (to please a partner, or to make a baby).

Having a low sex drive, or having your sex drive drop due to a medical issue is not the same as being asexual. Being celibate is not the same thing, either.

Many (but not all) asexuals do experience romantic attraction. They may still want to date or marry, and to do all the things couples do-- except sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 43 year old asexual woman. I have adopted kids and while I would like a relationship, I know that it is unlikely anybody would want to date me.

OP, please dont take your child to a psychologist. That is demeaning and dismissive. She trusted you enough to tell you, so simply continue to love, accept, and support her.

Didn't you ever want to experience a sexual relationship or encounter, PP? Are you sure that... I don't know... hormones or psychological intervention wouldn't have helped?

Sex is such a wonderful part of life. I wouldn't want my children to miss out on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nor has she masturbated.

Did u hide a camera to watch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad. Unless you sincerely suspect a medical issue, I agree with 20:59. Love, accept, support. She may change and she may not. There is a lot more to life than sex!

Of course but there is a lot more to life than most singular things. Sexuality and intimacy are beautiful and meaningful parts of our lives. I am old and I still love having sex with my husband!

[Anonymous]

Not really a big deal. I did not understand being sexual at age 18 either. And, probably would have considered myself "asexual" had the label been around then and I knew about it. Before the web. In the 80s.

I was/am a taller larger woman who boys were not attracted too. Stick thin/ no figure, at the time. Was much more interested in the opposite sex once I was older and the guys older, larger, and much more appealing. Ended up marrying later and marrying a shorter guy I am/was very attracted too!

[Anonymous]

I think the roving troll op is back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad. Unless you sincerely suspect a medical issue, I agree with 20:59. Love, accept, support. She may change and she may not. There is a lot more to life than sex!

Of course but there is a lot more to life than most singular things. Sexuality and intimacy are beautiful and meaningful parts of our lives. I am old and I still love having sex with my husband!

That is good for you, and I'm happy. But other people, who are not you, are different people and may want or need different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the roving troll op is back.

No, promise I'm not a troll.

I guess it just surprised me, is all. I just assumed she was a late bloomer. But, now that her friends are all into dating, sex, etc. and she doesn't have interest in that, I think she did some soul searching and came to this conclusion.