Do you snub your siblings?

[Anonymous]

No one has ever been singled out, but a couple of times individual siblings have snubbed the rest of us over perceived slights or differences in politics/religion.

[Anonymous]

We avoid my SIL and her family. They've always been pretty aloof with everyone. DH ended up taking care of his parents by himself, she never came to the hospital and yet dared to criticize funeral arrangements. Her daughter is the most amoebic teenager I've ever seen.

[Anonymous]

What you call snubbing I call setting boundaries to keep toxic people out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you call snubbing I call setting boundaries to keep toxic people out.

Who would disagree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you call snubbing I call setting boundaries to keep toxic people out.

I think there's a bit of a difference there - at least if what you're dealing with is obnoxious and hurtful rather than psycho & dangerous.

For hurtful relatives - like my brother who belittles my husband's religious beliefs, who got mad at me for separating the family dog from my 2 yo after he showed aggression, and who has clearly stated that he has favorites and I, along with my family, am not it - I find that shutting down the personal, one-on-one relationship but keeping the offender included on group stuff doesn't snub but is effective at maintaining boundaries. I'm not interested in snubbing my brother - I love him and hope that he grows out this juvenile behavior - but I'm not going to fight fire with fire and exacerbate the issue. When I'm coming to town and meeting up the rest of the family, he's welcome to join and I invite him. Of course I hope that he'll behave himself, but I don't condition the invite on that - so I think I can honestly say I haven't snubbed him. Insensitive people don't want to be known as jerks, so they keep it under wraps to the extent that they can when others are around and when they say something that's truly awful, others can call them out on it and you can just sit back and enjoy your own sanity for not engaging.

For dangerous people, like child molesters, then yes - avoid & cut out completely. In that situation, there is no way to maintain appropriate boundaries without snubbing and snubbing the person should be the least of your worries in that case.

[Anonymous]

My SIL has a prolific Instagram following and posts about her life CONSTANTLY. She's 25, has a good job, but is ALL about herself. When we told her I was pregnant, the first breath from her mouth was "I'm going to be an aunt!" Not, "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys" or "Congratulations," etc. Once DS was born, she texted me just HOURS after giving birth asking when she could post him on Instagram. I didn't respond. She asked again a few weeks later, and I told her DH and I decided we don't want our kids on social media but thanks for understanding.
She went BALLISTIC. Accused me of cutting her out of DS's life. Now, this is the girl who lives in another city a plane flight away who has NEVER visited since we've been married, and NEVER ONCE told us she wanted to visit DS after he was born, or showed any interest in our lives whatsoever. She's a total fake, all for the sake of Instagram likes. Then she expected ME to apologize for hurting her feelings and accusing her of being a bad person. I told her I'm not sorry because I didn't do anything wrong.
I don't trifle. If you're going to act crazy, I don't care if you're the Pope, I don't want you to be around my family.

[Anonymous]

We try to avoid SIL. She's always having some kind of drama. And 90% of it is self-inflicted. She's always trying to hustle money from family members. Of course MIL gives in.

[Anonymous]

My siblings who attend Georgetown are snobs. Maybe Borderline Narcisstics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL has a prolific Instagram following and posts about her life CONSTANTLY. She's 25, has a good job, but is ALL about herself. When we told her I was pregnant, the first breath from her mouth was "I'm going to be an aunt!" Not, "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys" or "Congratulations," etc. Once DS was born, she texted me just HOURS after giving birth asking when she could post him on Instagram. I didn't respond. She asked again a few weeks later, and I told her DH and I decided we don't want our kids on social media but thanks for understanding.
She went BALLISTIC. Accused me of cutting her out of DS's life. Now, this is the girl who lives in another city a plane flight away who has NEVER visited since we've been married, and NEVER ONCE told us she wanted to visit DS after he was born, or showed any interest in our lives whatsoever. She's a total fake, all for the sake of Instagram likes. Then she expected ME to apologize for hurting her feelings and accusing her of being a bad person. I told her I'm not sorry because I didn't do anything wrong.
I don't trifle. If you're going to act crazy, I don't care if you're the Pope, I don't want you to be around my family.

Please tell me this didn't really upset you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL has a prolific Instagram following and posts about her life CONSTANTLY. She's 25, has a good job, but is ALL about herself. When we told her I was pregnant, the first breath from her mouth was "I'm going to be an aunt!" Not, "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys" or "Congratulations," etc. Once DS was born, she texted me just HOURS after giving birth asking when she could post him on Instagram. I didn't respond. She asked again a few weeks later, and I told her DH and I decided we don't want our kids on social media but thanks for understanding.
She went BALLISTIC. Accused me of cutting her out of DS's life. Now, this is the girl who lives in another city a plane flight away who has NEVER visited since we've been married, and NEVER ONCE told us she wanted to visit DS after he was born, or showed any interest in our lives whatsoever. She's a total fake, all for the sake of Instagram likes. Then she expected ME to apologize for hurting her feelings and accusing her of being a bad person. I told her I'm not sorry because I didn't do anything wrong.
I don't trifle. If you're going to act crazy, I don't care if you're the Pope, I don't want you to be around my family.

Please tell me this didn't really upset you.

+1
And be happy she even thought to ask if it was okay to post his picture. I understand you may not like her for some very good reasons, but the ones you posted aren't good examples at all.

[Anonymous]

My brother and SIL snub DH and me. We don't snub them. I think the reason is that my brother resents me, going all the way back to when we were children. I was the favored child and he was the "bad" one. This is my best guess. Other than that, I really don't know. SIL hates me and DH. I don't know why. We used to get together, and every time we did, we had a good time. I can't really figure it out. We haven't seen them in almost four years. Makes me sad, but there's nothing I can do about it. Nada.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL has a prolific Instagram following and posts about her life CONSTANTLY. She's 25, has a good job, but is ALL about herself. When we told her I was pregnant, the first breath from her mouth was "I'm going to be an aunt!" Not, "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys" or "Congratulations," etc. Once DS was born, she texted me just HOURS after giving birth asking when she could post him on Instagram. I didn't respond. She asked again a few weeks later, and I told her DH and I decided we don't want our kids on social media but thanks for understanding.
She went BALLISTIC. Accused me of cutting her out of DS's life. Now, this is the girl who lives in another city a plane flight away who has NEVER visited since we've been married, and NEVER ONCE told us she wanted to visit DS after he was born, or showed any interest in our lives whatsoever. She's a total fake, all for the sake of Instagram likes. Then she expected ME to apologize for hurting her feelings and accusing her of being a bad person. I told her I'm not sorry because I didn't do anything wrong.
I don't trifle. If you're going to act crazy, I don't care if you're the Pope, I don't want you to be around my family.

Please tell me this didn't really upset you.

+1
And be happy she even thought to ask if it was okay to post his picture. I understand you may not like her for some very good reasons, but the ones you posted aren't good examples at all.

+100
Also be grateful she didn't do what my SIL did. She started bawling when BIL and his wife announced they were expecting. Her children wouldn't be the only grandchildren BIL's wife told her to grow up. BIL's wife is very outspoken and tells SIL the things MIL is too clueless to say

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL has a prolific Instagram following and posts about her life CONSTANTLY. She's 25, has a good job, but is ALL about herself. When we told her I was pregnant, the first breath from her mouth was "I'm going to be an aunt!" Not, "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys" or "Congratulations," etc. Once DS was born, she texted me just HOURS after giving birth asking when she could post him on Instagram. I didn't respond. She asked again a few weeks later, and I told her DH and I decided we don't want our kids on social media but thanks for understanding.
She went BALLISTIC. Accused me of cutting her out of DS's life. Now, this is the girl who lives in another city a plane flight away who has NEVER visited since we've been married, and NEVER ONCE told us she wanted to visit DS after he was born, or showed any interest in our lives whatsoever. She's a total fake, all for the sake of Instagram likes. Then she expected ME to apologize for hurting her feelings and accusing her of being a bad person. I told her I'm not sorry because I didn't do anything wrong.
I don't trifle. If you're going to act crazy, I don't care if you're the Pope, I don't want you to be around my family.

Please tell me this didn't really upset you.

+1
And be happy she even thought to ask if it was okay to post his picture. I understand you may not like her for some very good reasons, but the ones you posted aren't good examples at all.

If you two PPs don't see why the SIL's behavior is messed up, you scare me. (NP here)

[Anonymous]

We snub my DH's sister because she is a bitch. Does that count?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We snub my DH's sister because she is a bitch. Does that count?

We snub my brother and his wife, because she's a cunt and he's an asshole. It works out quite well, and we sleep well at night.