Reply to Do you snub your siblings?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Do you snub your siblings?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What you call snubbing I call setting boundaries to keep toxic people out. [/quote]

I think there's a bit of a difference there - at least if what you're dealing with is obnoxious and hurtful rather than psycho & dangerous.

For hurtful relatives - like my brother who belittles my husband's religious beliefs, who got mad at me for separating the family dog from my 2 yo after he showed aggression, and who has clearly stated that he has favorites and I, along with my family, am not it - I find that shutting down the personal, one-on-one relationship but keeping the offender included on group stuff doesn't snub but is effective at maintaining boundaries. I'm not interested in snubbing my brother - I love him and hope that he grows out this juvenile behavior - but I'm not going to fight fire with fire and exacerbate the issue. When I'm coming to town and meeting up the rest of the family, he's welcome to join and I invite him. Of course I hope that he'll behave himself, but I don't condition the invite on that - so I think I can honestly say I haven't snubbed him. Insensitive people don't want to be known as jerks, so they keep it under wraps to the extent that they can when others are around and when they say something that's truly awful, others can call them out on it and you can just sit back and enjoy your own sanity for not engaging.

For dangerous people, like child molesters, then yes - avoid & cut out completely. In that situation, there is no way to maintain appropriate boundaries without snubbing and snubbing the person should be the least of your worries in that case. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics