s/o Who does the money in your house - DW or DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:me, the dw. I am a SAHM, and manage everything, including managing money. And spending it. And investing it. And figuring out and scheduling home improvements or renovations. Getting cars repaired. Everything child-related, everything social-schedule-related, home maintenance, groceries, cooking... I'm starting to think I need DH to step up on a few of these things so I can go back to school and find a job.

Lol. I do everything you listed. But I work full time. I need my husband to step it up also so I can have a life.

Note: not starting any SAHM vs WOHM wars here. It just resonated with me that I am handling all that and a bag of chips while my husband just does his 9-5.

[Anonymous]

My DH does. He gravitates towards this--has worked in banks and as an accountant. I check in from time to time about it but TBH, I can barely stay on top of all the other things --I WOH and have 2 ES age kids.

[Anonymous]

I am DW and I take care of all the finances.

[Anonymous]

I (DW) used to do it, but DH took over after a few years to balance out work load. By that I mean he takes care of paying the bills and tracking our spending. We set a budget together (updated ~annually or after life changes) and make big spending decisions together. Both have access to each other's accounts so I can see all the transactions at any time.

I stress out more about money and savings than he does. He's not a spendthrift or anything, but I'm more of a saver. Giving him the responsibility made him more cautious and took stress off because I don't have daily spending decisions-I just see the big picture and our overall upward trajectory.

[Anonymous]

Me, DW. I can't recall the last time my H paid a bill.m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:me, the dw. I am a SAHM, and manage everything, including managing money. And spending it. And investing it. And figuring out and scheduling home improvements or renovations. Getting cars repaired. Everything child-related, everything social-schedule-related, home maintenance, groceries, cooking... I'm starting to think I need DH to step up on a few of these things so I can go back to school and find a job.

Sing it, sister - me too.

[Anonymous]

Wife pays the utility bills and the nanny. Husband pays the credit cards and mortgage, as well as managing the monthly balances, retirement and investment accounts, and planning. Fortunate in that neither of us are spenders (except for the nanny, by far our biggest extravagance beyond the kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:me, the dw. I am a SAHM, and manage everything, including managing money. And spending it. And investing it. And figuring out and scheduling home improvements or renovations. Getting cars repaired. Everything child-related, everything social-schedule-related, home maintenance, groceries, cooking... I'm starting to think I need DH to step up on a few of these things so I can go back to school and find a job.

Lol. I do everything you listed. But I work full time. I need my husband to step it up also so I can have a life.

Note: not starting any SAHM vs WOHM wars here. It just resonated with me that I am handling all that and a bag of chips while my husband just does his 9-5.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here. I do all everything money-related. If I left it up to DW, our bills, taxes, budget, and savings would be a total mess. The sad thing is DW doesn't acknowledge this contribution to the family because I do it all in the background.

I'm a DW and this is also my house. DH handles all the money. HOWEVER - I do lots of other, equally hard tasks that are also in the background. Health insurance filings/fighting, school and camp organization and forms, managing our childcare needs, communicating with the school and teachers, doctor's appts, dentists appts, extra-curricular signups and organization. Are you sure you aren't forgetting those items on the household list, OP?

PS- we both WOH and I out-earn DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:me, the dw. I am a SAHM, and manage everything, including managing money. And spending it. And investing it. And figuring out and scheduling home improvements or renovations. Getting cars repaired. Everything child-related, everything social-schedule-related, home maintenance, groceries, cooking... I'm starting to think I need DH to step up on a few of these things so I can go back to school and find a job.

Same. But in our case, DH is retired. We consult each other if something costs over 5K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:me, the dw. I am a SAHM, and manage everything, including managing money. And spending it. And investing it. And figuring out and scheduling home improvements or renovations. Getting cars repaired. Everything child-related, everything social-schedule-related, home maintenance, groceries, cooking... I'm starting to think I need DH to step up on a few of these things so I can go back to school and find a job.

DW here. Also a WOHM but 40 hrs vs DH's 50 +. I do everything money related including taxes, nanny payroll, etc except for investments - he enjoys that. I'm a CPA so it's just easy for me to do accounting related tasks

[Anonymous]

DH does.

[Anonymous]

Wife here. Technically DH pays the bills, but it's done via accounts that we own jointly, so my daily Quicken downloads show me exactly what's been paid.

The vast majority of household spending is done on a joint card, that's in my name. He handles paying it, but I know all the transactions, amounts due, etc.

We talk about our finances a *lot.* We both have "play" brokerage accounts, not to mention our 401ks, etc. We both like to see how things are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. I do all everything money-related. If I left it up to DW, our bills, taxes, budget, and savings would be a total mess. The sad thing is DW doesn't acknowledge this contribution to the family because I do it all in the background.

I'm a DW and this is also my house. DH handles all the money. HOWEVER - I do lots of other, equally hard tasks that are also in the background. Health insurance filings/fighting, school and camp organization and forms, managing our childcare needs, communicating with the school and teachers, doctor's appts, dentists appts, extra-curricular signups and organization. Are you sure you aren't forgetting those items on the household list, OP?

PS- we both WOH and I out-earn DH.

OP here, I seem to have struck a nerve. I am absolutely not forgetting those items. As far as that list goes (for those that apply to us), I do some of them and DW does some of them. The difference is that for those items she executes, I provide input and acknowledge the contributions. I do not get the same treatment for the financial and budgeting work I do. DW is disinterested to the point where she doesn't know how to log into our bank account...out of sight, out of mind.

Good for you for out-earning your spouse. Given that you both work, I hope that you don't think that money and responsibility are directly interchangeable.

[Anonymous]

I used to do all of it but DH realized he had no idea what was going in/out and didn't like that. So, he took over the day-to-day bill paying while I handle the big picture stuff -- tracking spending each month, doing taxes, monitoring investments and savings.