managing 2 FT careers with kids

[Anonymous]

You need an Alice, part caregiver part housekeeper, perhaps 1 1/2. Or full time daycare for the preschooler and half time nanny/housekeeper in the afternoons- who can come for sick days and snow days. You need to build in as much flexibility into your support system as possible. That takes $$$. Since you said that the job of for CEO of a non-profit, I am assuming it is fairly large as the smaller ones I know have Executive Director's leading them. That means more time required and less flexibility. Frankly, it sounds like both this one and your Dh's are jobs that need a default parent or sahp as partner since young children are in the picture.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't even willing to try a nanny or au pair, then you kind of have your answer. I'm not sure what people can tell you. Your husband's situation isn't going to change and you are going to have to continue to be available at a moment's notice. It does not sound doable given your parameters.

[Anonymous]

Nanny or Live-In relative. Or wait till your kids can bicycle/drive/take a bus where they need to go. And be left at home. And alone. And overnight.

Friend of mine, her son took a city bus to football practice. Another family, their child biked miles in all kinds of weather. If they couldn't find a way to get there themselves, they couldn't join an activity. Those kids did do less activities. But the activities they joined, they really wanted it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't even willing to try a nanny or au pair, then you kind of have your answer. I'm not sure what people can tell you. Your husband's situation isn't going to change and you are going to have to continue to be available at a moment's notice. It does not sound doable given your parameters.

Well, this has helped because I'm not sure I would have been so certain about it, but you're right in that I am very unwilling to go the nanny/au pair route. That may very well be the deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need an Alice, part caregiver part housekeeper, perhaps 1 1/2. Or full time daycare for the preschooler and half time nanny/housekeeper in the afternoons- who can come for sick days and snow days. You need to build in as much flexibility into your support system as possible. That takes $$$. Since you said that the job of for CEO of a non-profit, I am assuming it is fairly large as the smaller ones I know have Executive Director's leading them. That means more time required and less flexibility. Frankly, it sounds like both this one and your Dh's are jobs that need a default parent or sahp as partner since young children are in the picture.

I've been in non-profits for a very long time, and I'm not sure your assessment is on target. This is smaller, and the salary is not even half of what DH makes, but as I noted earlier, at this point it is more about fulfillment.

[Anonymous]

We are in a similar boat except DH is a surgeon. I work PT and all the childcare duties fall on me. I struggle with this daily.

We have friends and colleagues who have FT nannies even though their children are in school all day. Some nannies don't do any housework. Others seem more like housekeepers/cooks but do some driving. I feel it is difficult to find nannies who do both well.

One friend we have has a FT nanny who tidies up and preps dinner for the kids. Both parents make 7 figure incomes and often travel. Nanny works overnight and weekends as needed. Nanny is allowed to watch tv and chill while kids are at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't even willing to try a nanny or au pair, then you kind of have your answer. I'm not sure what people can tell you. Your husband's situation isn't going to change and you are going to have to continue to be available at a moment's notice. It does not sound doable given your parameters.

Well, this has helped because I'm not sure I would have been so certain about it, but you're right in that I am very unwilling to go the nanny/au pair route. That may very well be the deal breaker.

Yeah, I think this is your personal deal breaker, OP. Life and work are hard enough without having to worry about the kids even more than the normal amount of worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need an Alice, part caregiver part housekeeper, perhaps 1 1/2. Or full time daycare for the preschooler and half time nanny/housekeeper in the afternoons- who can come for sick days and snow days. You need to build in as much flexibility into your support system as possible. That takes $$$. Since you said that the job of for CEO of a non-profit, I am assuming it is fairly large as the smaller ones I know have Executive Director's leading them. That means more time required and less flexibility. Frankly, it sounds like both this one and your Dh's are jobs that need a default parent or sahp as partner since young children are in the picture.

She said small nonprofit. That typically means less pay, fewer staff to delegate to, more stress about keeping the place afloat.

I'm at a small nonprofit and not really advancing because of all the snow days, sick days, need to leave at 5 etc. We have two FT jobs. It is hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been PT for about 5 years now, but I think it may be time to go back to a FT position, and I've found one that is really ideal - a small nonprofit CEO position. DH works FT in the political sphere, and has a somewhat unpredictable schedule with a high profile organization that requires significant travel, and late nights.

I really want to get back in the game, but I am reluctant because, quite frankly, the childcare responsibilities are going to fall on me. The snow days, the sick days, the dr appts, etc. I guess I could get a nanny, but I never really saw that in our future, and I am struggling with the idea. I can outsource everything else without a second thought, but the childcare is tough. And, to be clear, my kids have been in daycare since #1 was born and I came back from maternity leave. But the only time I can really bank on DH taking care of the kids on an ad hoc basis is August when Congress is out. For the rest of the year, it's on me. I may get lucky that he can fill in, but it really is terribly unpredictable.

Me going to FT isn't about the money. It's really about the fulfillment at this point. This isn't a guilt thing either. I just don't know how I would manage my own travel, late nights, etc., that would accompany such a position. I don't really want a nanny or au pair.

Does anyone else have a spouse working in politics and deal with this kind of unpredictability, but hold down a FT job?

My husband doesn't work in politics like yours does, but he is the head of legislative affairs at a prominent federal agency. He too has an unpredictable schedule and late nights, though not the travel. I work FT as well. All of the things that you mentioned- sick days, snow days, dr's appts- tend to fall on me. Unfortunately, one of our kids has some mostly minor medical needs, and if the specialist appointment is a big deal and can be scheduled well in advance, DH can attend those but otherwise, it all falls on me. The only way it works is that my job is VERY flexible (though I fear at some point, I'll trespass on their goodwill). What helps is that I've been there 10 years and have established a stellar reputation. My children are also preschool and elementary.

[Anonymous]

Why not just use aftercare for snow days and teacher work days?

I have 1 kid in preschool and 1 in elementary. Elementary school child attends aftercare at daycare. Daycare follows federal gov and is open all other days.

Not sure what you will do for sick days but our kids have been sick a lot less as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just use aftercare for snow days and teacher work days?

I have 1 kid in preschool and 1 in elementary. Elementary school child attends aftercare at daycare. Daycare follows federal gov and is open all other days.

Not sure what you will do for sick days but our kids have been sick a lot less as they get older.

Not all aftercare programs cover snowdays. I live in DC and our charter has no before care on days with delayed openings and definitely no coverage on snow days.
I am unaware of a program that covers snow days. If anyone in DC knows of something, please share!

[Anonymous]

What aftercare covers snow days? They are a major headache when they don't move in alignment with the feds. I don't know of anywhere I could send kids on snow days (how do they prepare on the fly and get there?).

I am also at a DC charter.

Aftercare also doesn't cover professional development days , but there are options for camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What aftercare covers snow days? They are a major headache when they don't move in alignment with the feds. I don't know of anywhere I could send kids on snow days (how do they prepare on the fly and get there?).

I am also at a DC charter.

Aftercare also doesn't cover professional development days , but there are options for camps.

My kids do aftercare at Kinder Care, and they are almost always open. They do not follow the federal government, but decide for themselves when it is safe to open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What aftercare covers snow days? They are a major headache when they don't move in alignment with the feds. I don't know of anywhere I could send kids on snow days (how do they prepare on the fly and get there?).

I am also at a DC charter.

Aftercare also doesn't cover professional development days , but there are options for camps.

We live in VA and most all the daycares provide care. You need to be enrolled in the afternoon aftercare to use the center on snow days.

I don't think you can just show up the day of and expect care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What aftercare covers snow days? They are a major headache when they don't move in alignment with the feds. I don't know of anywhere I could send kids on snow days (how do they prepare on the fly and get there?).

I am also at a DC charter.

Aftercare also doesn't cover professional development days , but there are options for camps.

Kids After Hours at a bunch of schools in Maryland. They cover nearly all snow days, in-service days, early dismissals, etc. Daycare programs in schools can be open in MoCo as long as administrative offices are open, which is most snow days.