Dad kicked a hole in the wall. How should we punish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has to pay for (or work to pay off) the supplies to repair the wall, then work under the supervision of an adult to help repair the wall.

Because the tantrum was triggered by conflict over computer use, she would also lose that privilege for a while. Then when she got it back there would be a system of graduated restrictions until she could show she was being responsible about computer use and reacting appropriately to whatever the family rules are for computer time.

Yep yep.

[Anonymous]

I remember our ped saying that when kuds begin to tantrum at being told computer lid up, they're getting too much computer and the amount needs to be decreased. Regardless, I think termination of computer privileges is appropriate, and she can gradually earn back privileges as she demonstrates more maturity (and I like the idea of her paying for repairs).

[Anonymous]

Was she remorseful, OP?

[Anonymous]

One of my best friends was a gymnast. She told me that she got mad one day when she was 12 and broke a windshield by kicking it in when she was sitting in the car. She had no idea that her foot was that powerful. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met.

I second if the child was remorseful and didn't know the power of her own strength that I would largely let it go.

[Anonymous]

We put strict limits on video games because of this kind of behavior. My DS8 has ADHD. A couple of observations OP:

1. Kicking the wall is impulsive behavior and it's shockingly easy to put a hole through drywall.

2. I have noticed that my DS's executive functioning temporarily decreases if he's had too much screen time. He doesn't listen well, is irritable, etc.

3. Video games that encourage adrenaline (a lot of chasing, destruction, etc.) are the worst for my son and are banned in our house.

4. When my DS is "one" with the computer-- I transition him off gradually. I think for some kids (especially ADHD in our case) it's important that they find their own natural stopping place and gradual transitions make it easier

For us, we pull back on computer time- it's a loss my son takes seriously, and it's logical for this kind of behavior.

I'm not suggesting ADHD or therapy for your daughter. Based on what you said, I know it seems like a big deal, but it was a two second serious lapse of judgement common in childhood.

I do think that executive functioning is a wide spectrum and we're all affected at some level. If too much computer is a trigger I would pull back on it.