Rude and disrespectful 8 y/o

[Anonymous]

No fun for a week (no screen time, no favorite foods, no playdates, no fun outings, no nothing).

Plus apology in front of everyone at dinner.

No lecture, he knows he's not supposed to behave like that! You just need to follow through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ and no lectures. You explain this in less than 60 seconds and walk away. When he does the bad behavior, which he definitely will, you say nothing and take the remote control, iPad or whatever.

Yes. No lectures allowed. Lectures are heard as noise nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Eliminate screen time, no matter what.

2. Ignore his behavior, so he'll stop pressing your buttons. Pretend like you don't notice and go about your business.

Ignoring just makes it seem like the behavior is right. It has to be addressed as wrong and not tolerated.

+1 And it shows that mom/dad can't do anything about it. Ignoring when a 2 yr old throws a tantrum is fine. But this kind of behavior at 8 shouldn't be "ignored". Deal with it head on.

Perhaps you might consider why he's doing it in the first place.
Anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Eliminate screen time, no matter what.

2. Ignore his behavior, so he'll stop pressing your buttons. Pretend like you don't notice and go about your business.

Ignoring just makes it seem like the behavior is right. It has to be addressed as wrong and not tolerated.

+1 And it shows that mom/dad can't do anything about it. Ignoring when a 2 yr old throws a tantrum is fine. But this kind of behavior at 8 shouldn't be "ignored". Deal with it head on.

Perhaps you might consider why he's doing it in the first place.
Anyone?

Doesn't matter. Still inappropriate. By 8 they know that behavior is wrong, and they know alternate, respectful ways to express themselves so they should be expected to do so.

[Anonymous]

Try earning screen time for good behavior (baseline=o) rather than taking it away for bad behavior. Read the Kazdin method.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Eliminate screen time, no matter what.

2. Ignore his behavior, so he'll stop pressing your buttons. Pretend like you don't notice and go about your business.

Ignoring just makes it seem like the behavior is right. It has to be addressed as wrong and not tolerated.

+1 And it shows that mom/dad can't do anything about it. Ignoring when a 2 yr old throws a tantrum is fine. But this kind of behavior at 8 shouldn't be "ignored". Deal with it head on.

Perhaps you might consider why he's doing it in the first place.
Anyone?

New poster. Stuff seen in TV, in video games, from friends. or the worst, the parents talk this way to or about others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No fun for a week (no screen time, no favorite foods, no playdates, no fun outings, no nothing).

Plus apology in front of everyone at dinner.

No lecture, he knows he's not supposed to behave like that! You just need to follow through.

OP here-- I like this approach. Simple and direct. Thanks for all the input, everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try earning screen time for good behavior (baseline=o) rather than taking it away for bad behavior. Read the Kazdin method.

We are already doing this, but it hasn't resolved the disrespect.

[Anonymous]

What does ODS mean? I assume the S is for son. Anyway, is he only treating you ( the mother) in this manner? Where is dad? He should be stepping in and reminding the child to treat his wife with respect. Don't underestimate How dad's influence their sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does ODS mean? I assume the S is for son. Anyway, is he only treating you ( the mother) in this manner? Where is dad? He should be stepping in and reminding the child to treat his wife with respect. Don't underestimate How dad's influence their sons.

ODS = Otherwise Dear Son?

My DH *never* speaks to me disrespectfully, but my DS went through a phase of the eye rolling, back talking, etc... I think for a lot of kids, it's a phase they go through, but it is never ok. We punish.

[Anonymous]

Older dear son

[Anonymous]

I would have Dad lecture him about the importance of respecting women. One more toe over the line, he gets a spanking from Dad.

I generally don't spank but, I do think that for egregious behaviors that you are otherwise not able to correct, spanking gets the message through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's been several posts about this.

I spanked him after no other punishment worked for over a year. Yep, I got flamed, but the one-time spanking worked. Now, I just have to give a warning and a look. DS is 9.5 now, and he's been really great in the past year or so. We have a great relationship.

Good luck.

I think I was the one who flamed you on the other thread. If you only did it once and it worked, my hats off to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's been several posts about this.

I spanked him after no other punishment worked for over a year. Yep, I got flamed, but the one-time spanking worked. Now, I just have to give a warning and a look. DS is 9.5 now, and he's been really great in the past year or so. We have a great relationship.

Good luck.

Yeay You!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's been several posts about this.

I spanked him after no other punishment worked for over a year. Yep, I got flamed, but the one-time spanking worked. Now, I just have to give a warning and a look. DS is 9.5 now, and he's been really great in the past year or so. We have a great relationship.

Good luck.

Yeay You!

+2.