8 weeks before wedding and jitters

[Anonymous]

I know people say wedding jitters are normal, but I had absolutely no doubts before marrying DH. We were living together before the wedding though, so maybe that had something to do with it. Nothing was really going to change. I think if you are nervous enough to consider calling off the wedding, then you really need to decide if marriage is what you really want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first marriage, his second.

Why did his first marriage end? How long ago?

[Anonymous]

DH here. Married younger, first for both. Had doubts and should have listened to them. Still married but something was always missing. In reality I really was fair to my DW, she really should have had someone that truly adored her. Respect, trust, love yup. But I think you need more for the one.
think long and hard.

[Anonymous]

Should say I really was not fair to DW above.

[Anonymous]

Are you the type that imagines driving your car off the bridge or jumping off the roof? Not that you'd do it, but do you think about it?

[Anonymous]

Don't get married if you want to hookup with anyone but your future spouse. It won't end well.

[Anonymous]

Are you a guy, or a girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, marrying late at 36. Medium wedding at 150. We've dated a year. My first marriage, his second. No kids yet. Not sure why I'm stressing. No financial burden from wedding, did pre-canaan, my dress is pretty, my wedding planner is taking care of all the details. I just wake up in the middle of the night thinking...what if I just pout a stop to all of this?!

And we're both multiple graduate degrees, came from intact families both sides.

You don't sound like you want to marry this person at all.

Dating a year and wedding in 8 weeks? You sure you aren't just getting married because he's mr right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know people say wedding jitters are normal, but I had absolutely no doubts before marrying DH. We were living together before the wedding though, so maybe that had something to do with it. Nothing was really going to change. I think if you are nervous enough to consider calling off the wedding, then you really need to decide if marriage is what you really want.

+1

Same here - zero doubts about getting married.

We had a civil marriage with none of the bells and whistles. Still happily married and nearing our 25th wedding anniversary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people say wedding jitters are normal, but I had absolutely no doubts before marrying DH. We were living together before the wedding though, so maybe that had something to do with it. Nothing was really going to change. I think if you are nervous enough to consider calling off the wedding, then you really need to decide if marriage is what you really want.

+1

Same here - zero doubts about getting married.

We had a civil marriage with none of the bells and whistles. Still happily married and nearing our 25th wedding anniversary.

Yes, this- I was very anxious before the wedding about being the center of attention on that day- but had no jitters or doubts or anything about my husband and our marriage. I was 100% positive I wanted to marry him.

So if you are feeling this way- I'd definitely listen and examine it. PP's have asked good questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it because you know one year isn't long enough to know someone?

Nonsense. Is there really a set amount of time that is necessary?

DH and I met, were engaged, and married all inside of ten months. We were 26. I knew on the second date. I had jitters too but it was really all about the wedding. I hate being the center of attention. We should have just eloped but my mom really wanted that wedding...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people say wedding jitters are normal, but I had absolutely no doubts before marrying DH. We were living together before the wedding though, so maybe that had something to do with it. Nothing was really going to change. I think if you are nervous enough to consider calling off the wedding, then you really need to decide if marriage is what you really want.

+1

Same here - zero doubts about getting married.

We had a civil marriage with none of the bells and whistles. Still happily married and nearing our 25th wedding anniversary.

Yes, this- I was very anxious before the wedding about being the center of attention on that day- but had no jitters or doubts or anything about my husband and our marriage. I was 100% positive I wanted to marry him.

So if you are feeling this way- I'd definitely listen and examine it. PP's have asked good questions.

Same here. Only we didn't live together prior. I had nerves about the ceremony I would have prefered a smaller ceremony , but that was not possible with DH's family, but I had no doubts about DH being the one I wanted to marry.

[Anonymous]

Do you really want to be married?
Do you really want to be married to this man?

Are you feeling pressured to marry do you think you should be married because hey your 36 and you've done everything else in life and that's what you do?

Because I've been there. I nearly married a man simply because I thought I should. I'm very glad I didn't marry him. He was a great guy, but not for me.
I met the guy for me 2 years later, and I had not a doubt in my mind that I wanted to marry him.

[Anonymous]

Are you being "tongue-in-cheek" here or are you serious...????

If it is the latter, then it is not too late to leave your groom at the alter.

But it will be worse once you join him there and say, "I do."

[Anonymous]

OP...consider postponing until you know what it is that's bothering you. Do not make this major life decision until you are certain. Tune in to your inner life and listen to yourself without judgment.

I had major panic attacks six weeks before wedding to first husband. The second I said "I do" I knew it was a mistake. We divorced six months later. Met my husband a year later, engaged a year later and zero jitters in weeks leading up to wedding. That was ten years ago.

You know, you dont have to call it off...you could just postpone until you understand what's going on within you.

Good luck.