Entertain often but never reciprocated

[Anonymous]

We are in the same boat. I was thinking about this the other day. For us we always have people over for dinner. It's not cheap and takes a lot of time to clean. I wish that we would get more invites out.

[Anonymous]

We have friends who regularly entertain, and we will eventually reciprocate because we feel we should, but just dont love entertaining. Our house isn't well set up for it, but we're also homebodies and a bit introverted, though we always enjoy spending time with friends. So while we'll reciprocate, we won't spontaneously decide to entertain for the pleasure of it, as our friends do. We're good guests, though, and will always bring something the hosts might enjoy. I'm kind of amazed by my friends who seem to host something each month, and love it - the thought exhausts me!

[Anonymous]

When we entertain at home, DH tends to get loaded and make passes at women, including my boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My house sucks. It's a work in progress but I am embarrased so very few people are allowed in. Maybe it is them, not you. We usually go out when we invite. Our house is also very small so it is hard to have more than one other family.

This is how I feel too. Plus, I am a single mom, and sometimes the idea of histng a bunch of people is overwhelming (shopping, cleaning prepping food on my own while also caring for DD.) but we get invited to other people's homes a lot. So I'm constantly feeling guilty.

It is extremely rude to accept but not extend invitations. If you will not reciprocate, then do not accept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we entertain at home, DH tends to get loaded and make passes at women, including my boss.

Time to dump him. What a loser.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to have a party, you should at least invite the party throwing couple over for dinner. Come on people have some class.

[Anonymous]

Many of my friends and family members live in NoVa, and have large homes with decks and/or patios. They have BBQs pretty much every weekend in the summer, and always invite me and DD. They have space to do it. They have cars to transport food and drink. I live in a two bedroom apartment in DC with DD. I don't own a car. I do host an intimate holiday get together once a year with about five to six friends and my sister and cousins, and I try to do it up right then. I couldn't do it this year because I had the flu. Everyone was really disappointed, as I was.

[Anonymous]

Despite all of this talk about how everyone loves to "entertain" (I cannot believe how many times you hear that word on HGTV), not many people actually want to or can. Especially in DC where we all live in crappy, small, overpriced houses.

Remember, just because you like entertaining, doesn't mean others do. And if you think they are mooching off of you, have you thought that many of them only show up because they feel obligated?

[Anonymous]

Op, make sure you still consider it "reciprocated" if a couple invites you out to dinner at a restaurant, or some other activity other than coming to their home.

But I'm sorry. I know the frustration.

[Anonymous]

We entertain too. I really don't mind if it's not reciprocated as long as you contribute something - even a hostess gift of wine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, make sure you still consider it "reciprocated" if a couple invites you out to dinner at a restaurant, or some other activity other than coming to their home.

But I'm sorry. I know the frustration.

I agree. I have a big fancy house with a pool. I consider any invite to be reciprocating - does not have to be equivalent . . . Could be getting sandwiches & walking to park.

[Anonymous]

We only have 3 chairs, no parking and make a lot less money than most people in the area. I'm embarrassed to invite new people over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, make sure you still consider it "reciprocated" if a couple invites you out to dinner at a restaurant, or some other activity other than coming to their home.

But I'm sorry. I know the frustration.

I agree. I have a big fancy house with a pool. I consider any invite to be reciprocating - does not have to be equivalent . . . Could be getting sandwiches & walking to park.

That is nice, but reality is people with small houses are not comfortable and understand that.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't take it personally unless you are finding a lot of your close friends are continuing to have parties without you. We didn't host when we lived in a small apartment and I always felt terrible about not being able to reciprocate. It also doesn't fit some peoples personality or work with their budget. Or maybe you have the same group together and that couple that didn't invite you is hosting the husband's work friends or the wife's old college friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My house sucks. It's a work in progress but I am embarrased so very few people are allowed in. Maybe it is them, not you. We usually go out when we invite. Our house is also very small so it is hard to have more than one other family.

This is how I feel too. Plus, I am a single mom, and sometimes the idea of histng a bunch of people is overwhelming (shopping, cleaning prepping food on my own while also caring for DD.) but we get invited to other people's homes a lot. So I'm constantly feeling guilty.

It is extremely rude to accept but not extend invitations. If you will not reciprocate, then do not accept.

Not OP, but my DH and I entertain often and while an extended invitation every now and then is nice, I surely wouldn't want any of our friends not attending because they cannot reciprocate the offer. I should add that 90% of our friends bring something with them to our parties despite us telling them we don't need anything--is that why?