Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?

[Anonymous]

ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

[Anonymous]

Curious, OP - what did she break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

THAT'S the message you got from these responses? Continue to let her break things?

Oh, brother. You're hopeless, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

THAT'S the message you got from these responses? Continue to let her break things?

Oh, brother. You're hopeless, OP.

And a little stupid. You paid for your daughter's things - wouldn't breaking them be cutting off your own nose to spite your face?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

THAT'S the message you got from these responses? Continue to let her break things?

Oh, brother. You're hopeless, OP.

yep, that is the message i got. she's 6 and it happens is what most people said. i'm sorry but i can't lock everything up nor do i have unlimited funds to replace everything nor can i watch her 24/7- nor should i. you all seem strange to me. it must be the money that makes you not care. i, however, am sick and tired of replacing broken items. she went into my office and took something out and broke it. not acceptable. she's not two. must be the same parents in her private who replaced all those winter coats the kids lost and were in the lost and found all winter.

[Anonymous]

*that not and

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

THAT'S the message you got from these responses? Continue to let her break things?

Oh, brother. You're hopeless, OP.

yep, that is the message i got. she's 6 and it happens is what most people said. i'm sorry but i can't lock everything up nor do i have unlimited funds to replace everything nor can i watch her 24/7- nor should i. you all seem strange to me. it must be the money that makes you not care. i, however, am sick and tired of replacing broken items. she went into my office and took something out and broke it. not acceptable. she's not two. must be the same parents in her private who replaced all those winter coats the kids lost and were in the lost and found all winter.

You still never said what she broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

THAT'S the message you got from these responses? Continue to let her break things?

Oh, brother. You're hopeless, OP.

And a little stupid. You paid for your daughter's things - wouldn't breaking them be cutting off your own nose to spite your face?

that would be stupid. good that was'nt my plan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

Based on THIS reply, I think your DD is doing this on purpose because she's angry at you. You are unreasonable and jump to illogical conclusions. I think you need professional help, OP. If you can get help to change your behavior, it will trigger a change in your DD's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

oh, so she broke your dinning room table with a hammer, took a pair of garden scissors and destroyed your couch, burned your clothes, took wall mirrors off the wall and slammed them on the ground, pulled out the keys in your piano? yeah, didn't think so. she broke some random piece of stupid decoration that you had inappropriately placed too low/failed to supervise her while she was in the room with it. she is FIVE years old. FIVE. She has been alive for FIVE years. Shiny things are shiny and attractive to children. Makeup and jewelry appeal to kids who see their parents wear it. Cell phones are attractive to them because they see us on them. Bottom line- parenting fail not kid fail. It isn't a bit deal, you are just making it a big deal. My house isn't empty but you certainly can tell that I have kids. It is called being a parent. Lower your expectations to an age-appropriate level and get over it when stuff (JUST STUFF) breaks, spend your life following your kid around and monitoring her every move just so that you can have stuff on your shelves/tables/mantle, or realize that you have a kid and adjust accordingly. This is so sad. I can only imagine how stressed out your daughter must have been knowing you'd freak out about her breaking something of yours. It is hard being a parent. It sucks when they break your stuff especially if it was something important to you. Mine have accidentally destroyed nice outfits, jewelry, shoes, photographs, work papers, etc. But make no mistake, this is not a kid issue, it is a parent issue. Don't leave it accessible.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how she is breaking so much of your stuff. Aren't you supervising her? My DS is 5 and I generally know what part of the house he is in and what he's doing. That's not to say that he could never break anything of mine, but it could not happen with great regularity.

[Anonymous]

Lexapro helps OP - truly - call your doctor.

[Anonymous]

A few suggestions that don't involve borderline emotional abuse:

Give her a few minutes of your undivided attention and let her explore some of these "precious" items and talk to her about them, explain their value your feelings about them, and that she can only touch them when with you

Put shelves higher up on the walls and place items out of reach

Lock doors where she shouldn't enter

Put things in a lockable china cabinet

Give her kid versions of your things she can handle (cheap glass tea set, "pretty" items from a thrift store)

Make sure you're giving her enough of your attention at other times

Supervise her better

When she breaks these rules, explain to her your feelings, why it upsets you, give her an alternative she can do next time she feels the urge (like ask you or play with her own toys), and give her an appropriate and consistent punishment like time out

Lower your expectations, this may not be resolved the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time it happens, but with consistent disipline, understanding her motivations and having conversations with her, and teaching her appropriate alternatives, it will get better.

[Anonymous]

Seeking attention perhaps. Even if it's negative attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, so maybe it's not a good plan. i guess i will continue to let her break things. sigh. thanks DCUMs (who all must have empty rooms since everything that is of value is locked away)

I have lots of breakable items in my house, but these are just...things.

I spend time with my daughter during the day so she doesn't want to break my stuff and when she's playing independently, she's not in my office or my room. It's called parenting.