I just learned that an old friend died.

Anonymous
I'm very sorry for your loss, OP.
Anonymous
I am so sorry.
Anonymous
OP, my condolences on the loss of your true friend.
Anonymous
Oh, OP, this is so sad. I'm sorry for your loss.

A year ago, I googled a friend of mine that I had lost touch with, and found out she had died a very untimely death leaving her DH with little kids. I couldn't get over it for the longest time. I can only imagine how hard it would be for you, who was in current contact with your friend.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:He was my best friend from high school (I'm nearly 60 now) and we've been in contact by email for over the last ten years - seeing each other once for a lovely weekend - and talking on the telephone sporadically but always for hours when we did talk. The last time was just after Thanksgiving. I thought about calling him last Sunday which would have been the day before he died but was too tired from Christmas travel and just wanted to zone out.

He wanted to marry me. He mentioned it again in our last telephone conversation. He gave me my first kiss in high school and we talked about him giving me my last kiss as well. The truth was that I never felt that way about him and always had to be careful about not leading him on. But we were friends and I did enjoy our long conversations.

I am only in contact with one other high school friend who knew him and we've already spoken. I live on the other side of the country from where his memorial service will be and cannot attend. It would be wrong for me to have never visited his hometown when he was alive but would go for his funeral.

Anyway, I am posting just to tell someone - anyone - that I lost an old friend. I cannot believe that I will never talk to him again and just called his phone to hear his message one last time. I am very sad. I loved him.


Not necessarily, but you did bring up a good point that many people usually do not consider. In fact, I see it as an excellent point OP.

Regardless, I am very sorry for your loss.

I am glad that he had a wonderful and caring compassionate friend such as you, esp. these past ten years and I am sure your loving friendship gave him many good memories toward the end.

May his lovely soul R.I.P. now.

~Rest in Paradise~

God Bless You OP.
Anonymous
I am so very sorry. I can tell from your post how much you loved him and how much you are hurting right now. You and he were both blessed to have found each other again and reconnect. It must have been a great joy in both of your lives.
Anonymous
I'm sorry Op. I know that you two did not marry each other for lots of reason, but did either one of you ever marry?
Anonymous
OP HERE

Thank you all for your condolences. Yes, we were both lucky to have found each other and I will miss him greatly.

Yes, he was married and lost his years ago. I never married. I never wanted to get married and in one of our last conversations told him that if I did want to marry, I would marry him. I'm glad I said that now. I know it gave him a lot of happiness.

I was thinking this morning that if I found out that this was all a mistake and he was still alive, I would marry him without hesitation. It makes me feel very sad that he died alone but it does look like it was a very quick death (most likely a heart attack).

I still think I'm in shock. How can it be that I will never have another long conversation with him again? I wish I believed in an after-life -- it would make it all so much easier.

Again, thank you all so much.
Anonymous
Op I am sorry for your loss. You might try to go to the funeral. The family will be full of stories about him and will appreciate you being there.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP HERE

Thank you all for your condolences. Yes, we were both lucky to have found each other and I will miss him greatly.

Yes, he was married and lost his years ago. I never married. I never wanted to get married and in one of our last conversations told him that if I did want to marry, I would marry him. I'm glad I said that now. I know it gave him a lot of happiness.

I was thinking this morning that if I found out that this was all a mistake and he was still alive, I would marry him without hesitation. It makes me feel very sad that he died alone but it does look like it was a very quick death (most likely a heart attack).

I still think I'm in shock. How can it be that I will never have another long conversation with him again? I wish I believed in an after-life -- it would make it all so much easier.

Again, thank you all so much.


You are reeling Op. Give yourself time. I think that if marrying him had been a good thing for the both of you, you would have done it. As it is, you were able to keep that beautiful friendship alive and well for all these years. You were blessed to have each other and it is sweet that you were able to tell each other how much you cared. I am so sorry for your loss.
Anonymous
I am so sorry for your loss.

I had an old friend pass away and I, too, had a terrible time comprehending that it wasn't some awful mistake and that she was fine -- maybe in the hospital somewhere - but I just couldn't accept that she was gone. It is very hard when your relationship is long-distance and not of the seeing-each-other-day-to-day kind. I would find myself reaching for the telephone to call her months after she was gone.

Old friendships are the hardest to lose as we tend to remember the person as young and vital - maybe 17 or 18 years old. And in your case, where there was love and the possibility of a future, it is even harder.
Anonymous
So sorry for your loss.
Anonymous
I am so very sorry, OP.
I always experience denial when I learn that a loved one has died - I am so slow to accept that the person is gone. I usually think there is some horrible mistake and the person is not really dead.
Anonymous
One of the greatest benefits of the internet is the ability to find old friends. I have reunited with a few old high school friends (I am 65 so they are indeed "old" friends) and am very happy to have them back in my life even if only a email/telephone connection. I will be very sad if/when they pass away.

I'm sorry, OP. It sounds like you had a good and full relationship with your old friend. And, if there is an after-life, it will be there whether you believe in it or not. But I too envy people who seem to be so sure we will all see our lost family and friends again.
Anonymous
My condolences, OP. Nothing can replace our old friends - those who knew us when we had bad hair and weird ideas! Hold fast to your memories of him as a young man and know that he loved you very much. No one can ever give you your first kiss again - his place is marked!

Blessings to you. And again, I am so sorry. I feel your grief in your posts.
post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Message Quick Reply
Go to: