I just learned that an old friend died.

[Anonymous]

He was my best friend from high school (I'm nearly 60 now) and we've been in contact by email for over the last ten years - seeing each other once for a lovely weekend - and talking on the telephone sporadically but always for hours when we did talk. The last time was just after Thanksgiving. I thought about calling him last Sunday which would have been the day before he died but was too tired from Christmas travel and just wanted to zone out.

He wanted to marry me. He mentioned it again in our last telephone conversation. He gave me my first kiss in high school and we talked about him giving me my last kiss as well. The truth was that I never felt that way about him and always had to be careful about not leading him on. But we were friends and I did enjoy our long conversations.

I am only in contact with one other high school friend who knew him and we've already spoken. I live on the other side of the country from where his memorial service will be and cannot attend. It would be wrong for me to have never visited his hometown when he was alive but would go for his funeral.

Anyway, I am posting just to tell someone - anyone - that I lost an old friend. I cannot believe that I will never talk to him again and just called his phone to hear his message one last time. I am very sad. I loved him.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry for your loss OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry for your loss OP.
And there is nothing wrong with you attending his service, if you wanted to and were able to.
Wishing you peace.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry Op. I googled an old love (mostly friend) from high school to find his obituary pop-up. And the news was several years old. He died at 45 leaving a wife and 2 young kids (I never met) I had known his father, so I wrote him a note. He appreciated it and called me. We talked and told stories. I probably hadn't spoken to his father in 20 yrs before that. But I'm glad I made contact

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. I lost a high school classmate as well, due to a health issue. he was in his 20s, but it was very shocking and sad. I would have liked to go to funeral, but it I had to return work. I know what you are going through.

[Anonymous]

I had two old friends that I fantasized about reconnecting with only to find out they both passed away over the years. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Very sorry for your loss, OP. Sad

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry, OP. But it is wonderful that you two did reconnect and had long talks that you both cherished. I'm sure he knew that you loved him as best you could and he clearly did love you.

It is always hard when you learn that a friend has died and there is no one in your day-to-day life to share it with (no one else who knew him). I am very glad you shared it here. Anonymous message boards are good for at least this.

[Anonymous]

I looked up a sweet young guy that I had dated years ago while we were in our 20's only to find out that he had passed away several years prior. Really wasn't expecting that. I'm not even sure what happened. RIP though.

[Anonymous]

"I cannot believe that I will never talk to him again and just called his phone to hear his message one last time."

I too would do something like this.

Sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

I am so very sorry, OP. I can feel in your post how much this hurts.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. It is good you shared your loss here.

[Anonymous]

I'm very sorry for your loss, OP

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP. I had a very similar loss a few years ago. Someone from high school, who lived on the opposite side of the country, and I reconnected (thanks to the internet) and seemed to pick up our friendship exactly where we left off with no time lost at all. We talked about everything and anything with such ease as only old friends can do. We continued a phone and email friendship, promising one day to get together, for over eight years. Like you, no one in my day-to-day, DC life ever met her or knew her. Part of me had always been in love with her but would never act on it as we were both happily married.

She passed away suddenly without warning and it felt as if that door to my past was now closed forever. I mourned her. I miss her now.

Be glad you did have an in person weekend with your old friend and be glad that you did reconnect. But I do know it hurts and I am so sorry. It will take longer to accept fully that he is gone as you didn't speak every day. At least that was how it was for me.