Bring your own food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you cooking for lots of other people too? If so it is fine. If you are just having them over for dinner then it is rude to not try to accommodate the mom unless it means hunting up really weird ingredients. Picky kids can eat bread and whatever you serve for munchies. I would not cater dinner to them but to avoid having hungry kid meltdowns I would have something (bread, pretzels and fruit before, anything easy that others will also be eating ) that they can fill up on.

Op here. Agree. Serving croissants and crackers too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone to your home, you need to prepare so ring they can eat. Otherwise, why invite them?

I don't invite them. They're DH side and I'm being supportive. He's thinks what I do is more than enough. Just wanted to know if my response was appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely need more details here, OP. Your menu sounds like fare for a relatively small group - in which case, I think you need to accommodate the adult by preparing something she can eat in addition to or as an adjustment to your planned dishes. A baked potato, as PP suggested, is too easy not to do. Pork, as a rule, is risky.

Actually, even if you've invited a huge group, you should provide some options that will allow everyone to fill up. Fruit, a mini salad bar (greens with extras in separate bowls), crudite, bread, a steamed vegetable.

I had an open house once where the only thing one woman (friend of a friend) would eat was the steamed broccoli, because she was vegan, nondairy and unbelievably picky. Fortunately, there was steamed broccoli on the table.

I find this even more rude. All you could manage to come up with was some steamed broccoli?

It was an open house. I had piles of food, including many other vegan options which she dismissed for various reasons, mostly around her extremely limited preferences. She didn't eat tomatoes, onions or black beans, which nixed several dishes. She didn't like cantaloupe and believed it tainted the entire fruit salad. She wouldn't eat store bought hummus unless I could produce the ingredient list.

Some people need to just stay home. i wasn't about to go back in the kitchen and learn how to cook tofu for one guest out of 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone to your home, you need to prepare so ring they can eat. Otherwise, why invite them?

I don't invite them. They're DH side and I'm being supportive. He's thinks what I do is more than enough. Just wanted to know if my response was appropriate.

Honestly, if it was a family situation, I would feed all of us and only stay predinner or just decline as I would not feel welcome I'd you know the eating limitations, especially a medical one and basically not care. I would get the hint and stay away knowing you do not like or want is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely need more details here, OP. Your menu sounds like fare for a relatively small group - in which case, I think you need to accommodate the adult by preparing something she can eat in addition to or as an adjustment to your planned dishes. A baked potato, as PP suggested, is too easy not to do. Pork, as a rule, is risky.

Actually, even if you've invited a huge group, you should provide some options that will allow everyone to fill up. Fruit, a mini salad bar (greens with extras in separate bowls), crudite, bread, a steamed vegetable.

I had an open house once where the only thing one woman (friend of a friend) would eat was the steamed broccoli, because she was vegan, nondairy and unbelievably picky. Fortunately, there was steamed broccoli on the table.

I find this even more rude. All you could manage to come up with was some steamed broccoli?

It was an open house. I had piles of food, including many other vegan options which she dismissed for various reasons, mostly around her extremely limited preferences. She didn't eat tomatoes, onions or black beans, which nixed several dishes. She didn't like cantaloupe and believed it tainted the entire fruit salad. She wouldn't eat store bought hummus unless I could produce the ingredient list.

Some people need to just stay home. i wasn't about to go back in the kitchen and learn how to cook tofu for one guest out of 40.

If you had a salad and I did not like a few vegetables, I would eat around them. I am a vegetarian and would want to know something is vegetarian but I would also probably eat before going. i will eat a fruit salad but I do not like them. My kid will not touch a fruit salad but loves fresh fruit. My husband hates cantaloupe but would eat a fruit salad.

[Anonymous]

How is a fruit salad not "fresh fruit"? You want the whole cantaloupe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is a fruit salad not "fresh fruit"? You want the whole cantaloupe?

Kids don't like their foods touching. It's a rule of the universe.

[Anonymous]

I am surprise how many people would turn invitation! It's not about the food, its about the time to spend with friends around the table. I don't eat gluten most of the time either (different medical issue, not celiac), but if I know that family don't cook something gluten free, I would eat at home and still go with my family for dinner. I don't make a drama and seat with empty plate. I would usually put a scoop of something on my plate and just move it around during the dinner. No one ever even noticed that I have not eat the food. Same thing with desserts. I don't eat American deserts, but I always get a small slice of whatever host baked just to be polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have Celiac Disease and have turned down dinner invitations if I know there will be no gluten free options for me. It isn't the host's responsibility to cater to my medical needs.

It may not be the host's responsibility, but when I invite someone in my home, I make sure that their medical issues AND preferences are accomodated.

If it's a first-time invitation, I explicitly ask questions such as "Do you have any allergies concerning food or other things I should know about?", "Are you a vegetarian or a vegan?", "Is there something you abstain from because of your religion?", and I go by their answer. Even with long-term friends who I know have issues or strong preferences, I check if I'm not sure. A simple "I was planning to cook xyz. Is that something you can have? Can you suggest any alteration to the recipe that would make you able to eat it? Shall we choose something different together so you can enjoy that with us?".

To me, that's basic manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I invite you, your family digestive and food issues are not my problem. If you can't eat what I cooked either stay home or bring your own.

My sister is a strict vegetarian. We aren't. She brings her own food because she knows I won't fix anything special for her. My friend had a gastric bypass. Everything I cooked she'd say I can't eat that. I quit inviting her.

What a very rude attitude. I wouldn't want to be a guest in your house, knowing you think that, regardless of my issues or lack thereof, because you're rude and clearly don't want to do anything to accomodate your guests. I guess you don't have many friends.

BTW, there's no such thing as a strict vegetarian. There are vegetarians, and there are people who eat meat and/or fish. Talking about a strict vegetarian makes about as much sense as talking about a strict virgin. You're an ignoramus besides being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I invite you, your family digestive and food issues are not my problem. If you can't eat what I cooked either stay home or bring your own.

My sister is a strict vegetarian. We aren't. She brings her own food because she knows I won't fix anything special for her. My friend had a gastric bypass. Everything I cooked she'd say I can't eat that. I quit inviting her.

What a very rude attitude. I wouldn't want to be a guest in your house, knowing you think that, regardless of my issues or lack thereof, because you're rude and clearly don't want to do anything to accomodate your guests. I guess you don't have many friends.

BTW, there's no such thing as a strict vegetarian. There are vegetarians, and there are people who eat meat and/or fish. Talking about a strict vegetarian makes about as much sense as talking about a strict virgin. You're an ignoramus besides being rude.

Manners aside, the first PP is correct technically. A strict vegetarian is another term for vegan.

Signed, an ovo-lacto vegetarian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I invite you, your family digestive and food issues are not my problem. If you can't eat what I cooked either stay home or bring your own.

My sister is a strict vegetarian. We aren't. She brings her own food because she knows I won't fix anything special for her. My friend had a gastric bypass. Everything I cooked she'd say I can't eat that. I quit inviting her.

What a very rude attitude. I wouldn't want to be a guest in your house, knowing you think that, regardless of my issues or lack thereof, because you're rude and clearly don't want to do anything to accomodate your guests. I guess you don't have many friends.

BTW, there's no such thing as a strict vegetarian. There are vegetarians, and there are people who eat meat and/or fish. Talking about a strict vegetarian makes about as much sense as talking about a strict virgin. You're an ignoramus besides being rude.

Manners aside, the first PP is correct technically. A strict vegetarian is another term for vegan.

Signed, an ovo-lacto vegetarian.

A vegan is not just a strict vegetarian. Honestly I would decline. I would not feel wanted or comfortable. I try to make at least one thing for each person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this an acceptable response to a family whose kids are extremely picky eaters and their mom with intestinal issues can only eat certain things. "Thanks for offering. I have tenderloin, scalloped potatoes and carrots. If none of that works, bring something you and your family can eat."

Yes, yes, yes. Especially for a couple days or a week+.

[Anonymous]

I would phrase it more as "I'm making XYZ, which if I understand your limitations, you can eat. However, I won't be offended if you want to bring something particular for you or the kids".

I have food limitations. I am lucky in that the thing that makes me sick I have to eat in a decent quantity (think like a tablespoon of peanut butter and not a peanut flake), so unless the meal is made up entirely with my forbidden food or the item is extremely obvious, I don't worry about what might have a dash of something in the sauce. However, if I'm really hungry and have no idea what to expect, I eat a significant snack before I go. I'm there to see the people.

My son is a picky eater, but I don't ask anyone to make him something special. He either eats or he doesn't. He won't starve, and I try not to overly cater to his pickiness.

When I cook for others I make sure I have the bases covered (check if anyone is vegetarian, gluten-free, kosher, etc). However for someone like broccoli lady, she's a pill and the PP did her due diligence and was not in any way wrong. Some people really shouldn't go out in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is a fruit salad not "fresh fruit"? You want the whole cantaloupe?

Kids don't like their foods touching. It's a rule of the universe.

and spoiled kids are allowed to act on it.