two fed household--advice

[Anonymous]

OP, you can have a very good life - both of you with vacation time -ever increasing- to spend together. Possible flex time. Pension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I think there are a lot of DCUMs who make a LOT of money and can't imagine living any other way. But it is possible, OP. My DH makes $125K as a federal employee. I do freelance work but pull in less than $6K/year. I've been primarily a SAHM for 11 years. We have three kids, own a smallish but nice house in a nice MoCo neighborhood, send one child to a (relatively) reasonably priced private school and the other two to publics, and have excellent college and retirement savings in place. We own both of our cars. We just don't spend a lot on things that many of our friends and neighbors, do, i.e. going out to eat a lot, babysitters, theatre tickets, gym memberships, cable TV, pricey phone plans. I buy most of my and the kids' clothes at thrift stores and we don't buy books, we use the library. But I love our lifestyle and other than traveling a little more and eating out more often, there's nothing I'd really change. DH had the opportunity to pursue a job that would have earned considerably more in a rural area in the Northeast, and we decided he wouldn't because we like living here.

I agree with this, but just want to point out, and heavily underline, that you cannot compare your situation with OP's, even though your family income is similar, because you are living on one income. OP needs childcare, you don't. Big, big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I think there are a lot of DCUMs who make a LOT of money and can't imagine living any other way. But it is possible, OP. My DH makes $125K as a federal employee. I do freelance work but pull in less than $6K/year. I've been primarily a SAHM for 11 years. We have three kids, own a smallish but nice house in a nice MoCo neighborhood, send one child to a (relatively) reasonably priced private school and the other two to publics, and have excellent college and retirement savings in place. We own both of our cars. We just don't spend a lot on things that many of our friends and neighbors, do, i.e. going out to eat a lot, babysitters, theatre tickets, gym memberships, cable TV, pricey phone plans. I buy most of my and the kids' clothes at thrift stores and we don't buy books, we use the library. But I love our lifestyle and other than traveling a little more and eating out more often, there's nothing I'd really change. DH had the opportunity to pursue a job that would have earned considerably more in a rural area in the Northeast, and we decided he wouldn't because we like living here.

I agree with this, but just want to point out, and heavily underline, that you cannot compare your situation with OP's, even though your family income is similar, because you are living on one income. OP needs childcare, you don't. Big, big difference.

also if SAH for 11 yrs, likely bought before 2003 when housing was much much cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeezus Beezus threads like this really make me suicidal. My job tops out at a GS-11. I came in the Feds in 6yrs ago at a GS-7.
My series is not high- paying so I am always feeling the pull to go back to the evil private sector. The only thing I would miss is the stability factor.
I'm aiming for other Federal jobs because I really need to make more money.

I'm with you, however, I came in as a GS-9 and now I'm a GS 13-7 (9,11 and then 13). The only way to move up in my series (Program Analyst) is to be my boss. I'm currently looking outside my agency for non-sup 14s.

I just started looking at jobs in that series as well. I see the description varies a bit for each agency. Good luck to you in your pursuit. I keep hearing about the wave of retirements so maybe that will help us in the near future.

In the long run, I do think staying with the government is the best bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I think there are a lot of DCUMs who make a LOT of money and can't imagine living any other way. But it is possible, OP. My DH makes $125K as a federal employee. I do freelance work but pull in less than $6K/year. I've been primarily a SAHM for 11 years. We have three kids, own a smallish but nice house in a nice MoCo neighborhood, send one child to a (relatively) reasonably priced private school and the other two to publics, and have excellent college and retirement savings in place. We own both of our cars. We just don't spend a lot on things that many of our friends and neighbors, do, i.e. going out to eat a lot, babysitters, theatre tickets, gym memberships, cable TV, pricey phone plans. I buy most of my and the kids' clothes at thrift stores and we don't buy books, we use the library. But I love our lifestyle and other than traveling a little more and eating out more often, there's nothing I'd really change. DH had the opportunity to pursue a job that would have earned considerably more in a rural area in the Northeast, and we decided he wouldn't because we like living here.

I agree with this, but just want to point out, and heavily underline, that you cannot compare your situation with OP's, even though your family income is similar, because you are living on one income. OP needs childcare, you don't. Big, big difference.

also if SAH for 11 yrs, likely bought before 2003 when housing was much much cheaper.

Ding ding. The housing cost is key. I don't think the lifestyle PP is describing is doable in MoCo anymore. The housing costs are just too high.

[Anonymous]

Yes--childcare cost is crazy and the federal day care's do not feel like they are subsidized at all...they still hit at 1700/month for an infant. We're a two fed household, one child, and have been (what feels like) forever renting. Too scared to buy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes--childcare cost is crazy and the federal day care's do not feel like they are subsidized at all...they still hit at 1700/month for an infant. We're a two fed household, one child, and have been (what feels like) forever renting. Too scared to buy

We haven't seen any Federal day care that was subsidized, you just get priority on waitlist.

Most of the two fed household I know (except for when both are GS-15 lawyers or work at SEC with higher payscales) live *really* far away to afford decent housing. We're talking Manassas, Columbia, Annapolis for folks who work near the capital. These are two counties away from the District!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi---I was wondering if i could ask your advice. We are first time parents, both feds. Wife makes 80k, husband makes 50k per year. We have decent savings, but presently living in a 1-BR apartment which we are renting. My question is--- should we consider having one of us leave the government, and make more--if we dream to pay for our child's college and get a small property to call our own? Would be great to hear from other couples who made it. TY

What is your DH *true* growth potential in his career? What field is this? He may make a good bump, maybe even another 30k, but in the range you are talking about it seems likely that his *industry* is getting squeezed if this is the going rate in govt. And thus you have to worry about stability and viability of his long term career.

Is he a rainmaker, will he hussle and rise to the challenge of private industry? It is a different pace and focus, depending on the agency you are coming from. Some are driven by the mission and feel their work impacts lives, and thus you work in an engaging and ambitious work environment; other agencies are filled with folks in a niche bureaucratic position where culture is very different from a profit seeking enterprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes--childcare cost is crazy and the federal day care's do not feel like they are subsidized at all...they still hit at 1700/month for an infant. We're a two fed household, one child, and have been (what feels like) forever renting. Too scared to buy

We haven't seen any Federal day care that was subsidized, you just get priority on waitlist.

Most of the two fed household I know (except for when both are GS-15 lawyers or work at SEC with higher payscales) live *really* far away to afford decent housing. We're talking Manassas, Columbia, Annapolis for folks who work near the capital. These are two counties away from the District!

I know several two-Fed couples who own houses in close-in Maryland suburbs or DC and send their kids to relatively expensive private schools. I'm sure they are dual GS-15 couples, though, so I think it's probably a function of age, experience and specialization. It seems like at least one spouse in each couple has a fair amount of work flexibility, which is definitely something to be desired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I think there are a lot of DCUMs who make a LOT of money and can't imagine living any other way. But it is possible, OP. My DH makes $125K as a federal employee. I do freelance work but pull in less than $6K/year. I've been primarily a SAHM for 11 years. We have three kids, own a smallish but nice house in a nice MoCo neighborhood, send one child to a (relatively) reasonably priced private school and the other two to publics, and have excellent college and retirement savings in place. We own both of our cars. We just don't spend a lot on things that many of our friends and neighbors, do, i.e. going out to eat a lot, babysitters, theatre tickets, gym memberships, cable TV, pricey phone plans. I buy most of my and the kids' clothes at thrift stores and we don't buy books, we use the library. But I love our lifestyle and other than traveling a little more and eating out more often, there's nothing I'd really change. DH had the opportunity to pursue a job that would have earned considerably more in a rural area in the Northeast, and we decided he wouldn't because we like living here.

I agree with this, but just want to point out, and heavily underline, that you cannot compare your situation with OP's, even though your family income is similar, because you are living on one income. OP needs childcare, you don't. Big, big difference.

also if SAH for 11 yrs, likely bought before 2003 when housing was much much cheaper.

I'm the PP you quoted. Nope, we bought in 2004, at just about the peak of the market.

But the other PP's point about childcare is a good one. It's key that we don't have that expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I think there are a lot of DCUMs who make a LOT of money and can't imagine living any other way. But it is possible, OP. My DH makes $125K as a federal employee. I do freelance work but pull in less than $6K/year. I've been primarily a SAHM for 11 years. We have three kids, own a smallish but nice house in a nice MoCo neighborhood, send one child to a (relatively) reasonably priced private school and the other two to publics, and have excellent college and retirement savings in place. We own both of our cars. We just don't spend a lot on things that many of our friends and neighbors, do, i.e. going out to eat a lot, babysitters, theatre tickets, gym memberships, cable TV, pricey phone plans. I buy most of my and the kids' clothes at thrift stores and we don't buy books, we use the library. But I love our lifestyle and other than traveling a little more and eating out more often, there's nothing I'd really change. DH had the opportunity to pursue a job that would have earned considerably more in a rural area in the Northeast, and we decided he wouldn't because we like living here.

I agree with this, but just want to point out, and heavily underline, that you cannot compare your situation with OP's, even though your family income is similar, because you are living on one income. OP needs childcare, you don't. Big, big difference.

also if SAH for 11 yrs, likely bought before 2003 when housing was much much cheaper.

I'm the PP you quoted. Nope, we bought in 2004, at just about the peak of the market.

But the other PP's point about childcare is a good one. It's key that we don't have that expense.

haha, you haven't been looking now, have you. we are way up for everything except condos from 2004 prices. and that was your first house with no help from parents? your house cost $400k? because any more than that on a $125k income (probably less because this was 10 YEARS ago) would be crazy.

housing is the problem, fundamentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes--childcare cost is crazy and the federal day care's do not feel like they are subsidized at all...they still hit at 1700/month for an infant. We're a two fed household, one child, and have been (what feels like) forever renting. Too scared to buy

We haven't seen any Federal day care that was subsidized, you just get priority on waitlist.

Most of the two fed household I know (except for when both are GS-15 lawyers or work at SEC with higher payscales) live *really* far away to afford decent housing. We're talking Manassas, Columbia, Annapolis for folks who work near the capital. These are two counties away from the District!

I know several two-Fed couples who own houses in close-in Maryland suburbs or DC and send their kids to relatively expensive private schools. I'm sure they are dual GS-15 couples, though, so I think it's probably a function of age, experience and specialization. It seems like at least one spouse in each couple has a fair amount of work flexibility, which is definitely something to be desired.

also, if they are both gs-15, i'm betting they were lawyers, so may have worked a biglaw stint before kids and saved up significant down payment and tuition fund.

If you start at out GS and just do your step increases, living within 1 hr of DC with decent schooling for your kids is *very* challenging. I feel basically impossible, because even 3 bedroom condos would be tough on a $125k income, at least responsibly (ie, not living paycheck to paycheck and no 401k)

[Anonymous]

I think a two fed household can likely maintain a nice living. My parents did it and I've seen some other families do it more recently. There are ways to make college more affordable -- when you're thinking about saving for your children. I would hesitate to make a job change solely for the sake of making more money (assuming I had enough to live on). I'd want to be interested in my work or see that a particular job could improve my work-life balance.

I'm a fed and my DH is not. Since we've been together (11 yrs), my pay has exceeded his but soon his will pass mine since I'm pretty much maxed out. So, this has worked out nicely so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a two fed household can likely maintain a nice living. My parents did it and I've seen some other families do it more recently. There are ways to make college more affordable -- when you're thinking about saving for your children. I would hesitate to make a job change solely for the sake of making more money (assuming I had enough to live on). I'd want to be interested in my work or see that a particular job could improve my work-life balance.

I'm a fed and my DH is not. Since we've been together (11 yrs), my pay has exceeded his but soon his will pass mine since I'm pretty much maxed out. So, this has worked out nicely so far.

your parents? really, you understand that DC was a sleepy company town with cheap housing until about 10 years ago.

and more recent families, unless you know their full private details (prior work experience, inheritance, parental support) you don't know how they do it.

i just know that on $125k annual salary, anything more than $500k seems pretty reckless if not impossible. and $500k only buys you an okay house + schools in the exurbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here---He's a GS9--his 2 year growth goal is about 75k, if he moves to private now, it would probably be 75k now already with a steeper climb hopefully. I agree we really like the hours working federal. I'm more flexible to move to private sector but that would be more time consuming (might require me to work nights and weekends, and be in a different part of the country). He has student loans that the federal govt is helping a bit. Would appreciate the feedback from the feds who have stuck it out or made the move.

I'd consider staying in. If he'll make 75K in 2 years, that's pretty good. If it doesn't work out with private and he tries to return to the government later, they will look at what his last government salary was, or private, depending on the field, and may send him back to a GS9. I don't know of many people who have jumped from GS9 pay to 75K or more in the private sector.

From experience, my DH was government and is now private, in a competitive field, but few government agencies will match his salary, because he's now a contractor. And that's if he even gets past the interview, because of all those 10 point veterans.