Ugh my husband and his clutter!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you guys in a condo or apartment? If so, do they have a little storage closet/area you can rent? If so, for the short term, use that and tell him he needs to move all of the stuff he doesn't use frequently in there. Then, when he doesn't use any of the moved stuff for a period of time, note that for him and ask if he can start removing things. It might take many months / a year for this to sink in to him, but he kind of needs an "aha! moment." My DH is a horrible clutter person but we actually made great progress when I made him box up stuff and put it in our unfinished basement (I'm talking music magazines that he may someday want to read again, etc.). Once he didn't even open those boxes for a year, I convinced him to throw them all out PLUS much more of his stuff. He is still programmed to keep random stuff, but now I just tell him I'm throwing things away and he doesn't protest unless it's something he really wants.

Once you have the baby, you are going to have SO MUCH MORE STUFF. He is just going to have to purge stuff to make room for the baby stuff. I would point out to him that the closet needs space for the three of you, that you've purged your stuff NOT to give him more space but to have space for the baby and tell him he either needs to find another place for the stuff (rental space like I mentioned) or get rid of some things.

Or you can win the lottery and have some massive storage facility

This is all good right here.

Very practical advice: What finally "clicked" for DH was stumbling across a graphic called "Unf*** your closet." Google it and send it to him. It goes step by step asking if you've worn the clothing in a year, if it needs a repair, are you going to repair it right now, etc to convince you that "no, really, you can get rid of that." He generated two big moving boxes of clothes using that graphic. A lot of it would apply to regular stuff too.

General advice: I have hoarders in my family, so I'm already pretty good about getting rid of clutter, despite having been programmed at some level to think everything has meaning and that getting rid of something someone (my hoarding relative) gave me means I'm essentially throwing away love. It's tough stuff. Does he have any of that going on in his family? Or ADHD, anything like that?

There's an app called "unf*ck your habitat". Also a tumblr. Good stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Box it and put it in the garage, basement. Tell him that if he gets anymore stuff that he'll need to rent a storage unit and display it there.

We had accumulated too much stuff not long ago and we all worked to sell, give away, throw away what we didn't need. And we boxed things that we wanted to keep but didn't need out. Makes a big difference.

+1

Start boxing. After some years, straight to purple heart.

[Anonymous]

On the plus side, when I went through the laundry basket, i found three gift cards plus a cool pair of headphones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's got some old family issues, parents physically abusive. He loves to shop and spend a lot of money. So he will by a pricey gadget and never use it and it's hard for him to get rid of bc he spent a lot of money on it. Also in general he is horrible at organizing. I just found a laundry basket filled with papers years old that he needs to "go through".

Okay, he has issues. Just throw things away. Why would you even tell him about the box with papers from years ago. Just go through it and toss stuff. Unless it's copies of old tax records or something just toss it. There is no reason to even tell DH since you know he has problem.

[Anonymous]

I throw my husband's sh*t out all the time. I buy his underwear, socks, tshirts, etc. If I buy a new six pack of socks, I pick six pairs to throw out. I give him his mail. He gets 2 days to deal with it. If he moves it from one end of the counter to another, I shred it. I am *constantly* purging. I never stop.

[Anonymous]

Now that you have a baby coming into the situation, DH has to think about his child now. It is no longer just about "him" anymore, he needs to make space for his child, literally as well as figuratively.

Before the baby comes for obvious reasons, you both need to take a weekend + clear out some space for the baby's stuff to go. Designate where your things will go and where his things will go. Set it up to be fair so that you both have equal space. If he starts complaining that he has more things than you do, thus needing more room than you will just let him know that he will have to get rid of certain items or find somewhere else to store them. Do you have a garage/basement/attic, etc. where he can store his things? If not, then he can pay a storage shed if he is unwilling to part w/his stuff.

If you and your hubby cannot organize your things in a compatible manner, I highly suggest hiring a professional organizer as a last resort.

Someone who has experience in this area and who can also be a neutral 3rd party and can assist your husband w/eliminating all of his clutter.

Good luck and hopefully this can all be resolved before your bundle of joy arrives!!

[Anonymous]

My DH had stuff to "go through" that just took up space. Fortunately, we have a basement and I just boxed things, labeled them neatly and stored them. DH was okay with that, as long as he knew where to find them (and let's face it, he'll never look at them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's got some old family issues, parents physically abusive. He loves to shop and spend a lot of money. So he will by a pricey gadget and never use it and it's hard for him to get rid of bc he spent a lot of money on it. Also in general he is horrible at organizing. I just found a laundry basket filled with papers years old that he needs to "go through".

Has he ever gone to therapy?

[Anonymous]

^^Hit submit too soon…

Having children can bring up lots of issues for people who experienced bad parents.