how to deal with mentally ill MIL legally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had LifeLock and it doesn't work. We put a fraud watch on our credit. Anytime someone tries to open anything, even us, we get a call from the bank to confirm.

. Doesn't that mean it is working? Of course, it flags everything. It can't "know" it is you.

PP. No I canceled LifeLock and used a fraud watch instead. Our information was stolen twice under LifeLock and both times they said, "eh, it happens."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being financial irresponsible and dishonest does not make a person mentally ill.

Op here. She is both, trust me. Diagnosed schizophrenic. It is a scary combo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the ideas! I am not clear on the rules regarding parental debt. In Pennsylvania, where she resides, they do have those laws. I am not clear on whether the fact we do not live in the state even matters. That is my primary concern. We keep her at arms length, and every time we reestablish a more regular contact, it it s problem and we regret within weeks.

I could totally see her applying for credit using our social security numbers. She still will sometimes claim my wife, who is approaching 40, as a dependent on her taxes. She basically defrauds an alarming % of companies she comes into contact with, and unfortunately... she is a lawyer. Ugh. It is not fun. She is pretty good at creating ridiculous paper trails and just making such a mess that takes a long time to unravel. My wife doesn't want to invite her places b/c she is afraid she will "accidentally" slip and then sue the other relative, store, etc.

We wish we could get a restraining order of a type, honestly.



Don't you have to provide the SS # of the person you are claiming as a dependent on taxes? Personally I would be talking to a lawyer.

Yes, I am thinking of doing this, but not sure where to start. What type of lawyer would you consult. Family law? Not sure.

[Anonymous]

Does she ask you for help unraveling her messes?

I really don't understand, op, how you are involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the ideas! I am not clear on the rules regarding parental debt. In Pennsylvania, where she resides, they do have those laws. I am not clear on whether the fact we do not live in the state even matters. That is my primary concern. We keep her at arms length, and every time we reestablish a more regular contact, it it s problem and we regret within weeks.

I could totally see her applying for credit using our social security numbers. She still will sometimes claim my wife, who is approaching 40, as a dependent on her taxes. She basically defrauds an alarming % of companies she comes into contact with, and unfortunately... she is a lawyer. Ugh. It is not fun. She is pretty good at creating ridiculous paper trails and just making such a mess that takes a long time to unravel. My wife doesn't want to invite her places b/c she is afraid she will "accidentally" slip and then sue the other relative, store, etc.

We wish we could get a restraining order of a type, honestly.

I have posted here about having a parent in PA die. You are not responsible for their debt. PA has filial support laws which are related to healthcare, not consumer debt.
Most places, it is not worth it to come after you. Your primary concern is fraud.
You cannot be held responsible to her debt -- get LifeLock and any other fraud protection possible for your credit. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the ideas! I am not clear on the rules regarding parental debt. In Pennsylvania, where she resides, they do have those laws. I am not clear on whether the fact we do not live in the state even matters. That is my primary concern. We keep her at arms length, and every time we reestablish a more regular contact, it it s problem and we regret within weeks.

I could totally see her applying for credit using our social security numbers. She still will sometimes claim my wife, who is approaching 40, as a dependent on her taxes. She basically defrauds an alarming % of companies she comes into contact with, and unfortunately... she is a lawyer. Ugh. It is not fun. She is pretty good at creating ridiculous paper trails and just making such a mess that takes a long time to unravel. My wife doesn't want to invite her places b/c she is afraid she will "accidentally" slip and then sue the other relative, store, etc.

We wish we could get a restraining order of a type, honestly.

I have posted here about having a parent in PA die. You are not responsible for their debt. PA has filial support laws which are related to healthcare, not consumer debt.
Most places, it is not worth it to come after you. Your primary concern is fraud.
You cannot be held responsible to her debt -- get LifeLock and any other fraud protection possible for your credit. Best of luck.

I am especially concerned about healthcare though. She is sickly and has a lot of surgeries requiring a lot of rehab. At some point she might do assisted living. She is a schizophrenic, and last time she had these surgeries she was hallucinating and imagining conversations with doctors. They could have put her in the psych ward right then. My fear is that something like this will happen again, and she will be put into assisted living. No one wants to take care of her, she is a nightmare.

Did you ever speak to a lawyer? What kind of lawyer should we look for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she ask you for help unraveling her messes?

I really don't understand, op, how you are involved?

She is currently suing three companies, completely fraudulently. She has no qualms about creating scenarios. We are currently not involved, but she would not have any qualms about extending her fraud to us or other family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she ask you for help unraveling her messes?

I really don't understand, op, how you are involved?

She is currently suing three companies, completely fraudulently. She has no qualms about creating scenarios. We are currently not involved, but she would not have any qualms about extending her fraud to us or other family members.

Which would then make you her victim, not co-conspirator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the ideas! I am not clear on the rules regarding parental debt. In Pennsylvania, where she resides, they do have those laws. I am not clear on whether the fact we do not live in the state even matters. That is my primary concern. We keep her at arms length, and every time we reestablish a more regular contact, it it s problem and we regret within weeks.

I could totally see her applying for credit using our social security numbers. She still will sometimes claim my wife, who is approaching 40, as a dependent on her taxes. She basically defrauds an alarming % of companies she comes into contact with, and unfortunately... she is a lawyer. Ugh. It is not fun. She is pretty good at creating ridiculous paper trails and just making such a mess that takes a long time to unravel. My wife doesn't want to invite her places b/c she is afraid she will "accidentally" slip and then sue the other relative, store, etc.

We wish we could get a restraining order of a type, honestly.

I have posted here about having a parent in PA die. You are not responsible for their debt. PA has filial support laws which are related to healthcare, not consumer debt.
Most places, it is not worth it to come after you. Your primary concern is fraud.
You cannot be held responsible to her debt -- get LifeLock and any other fraud protection possible for your credit. Best of luck.

I am especially concerned about healthcare though. She is sickly and has a lot of surgeries requiring a lot of rehab. At some point she might do assisted living. She is a schizophrenic, and last time she had these surgeries she was hallucinating and imagining conversations with doctors. They could have put her in the psych ward right then. My fear is that something like this will happen again, and she will be put into assisted living. No one wants to take care of her, she is a nightmare.

Did you ever speak to a lawyer? What kind of lawyer should we look for?

I talked to an estate attorney, remember I was dealing with the affairs of a deceased person.
Look, it is highly unlikely anyone, nursing home or otherwise is coming after you. Best way to deter that is to not deal with them, PERIOD.
If she gets sent to a facility, don't show up, don't fill out forms, don't give out your info. Get your credit protections and try to relax. People cannot legally come after you because if fraud someone you are related to committed.

[Anonymous]

Just monitor your credit. I know a man in his 30s whose credit was ruined years ago by his own mother. He had no idea she took out loans/opened accounts in his name. I think she started it when he was under 18. It happens. She wasn't mentally ill, far as I know, just obviously sleazy. How awful to do that to your own kid. I don't think they'll ever really have a good relationship thanks to her theft..

[Anonymous]

It is possible to change your SSN if you are the victim of fraud (like being claimed on your parents' return as a dependent)www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10064.pdf

But this will wipe out her credit and she'll have to make sure her earnings history gets transferred to the new SSN.

Make sure you file your taxes ASAP each year so you get your refund before she files and it's her return that gets kicked back, not yours.

You can absolutely report her to the IRS or even call the police on her. If she's convicted, she can be disbarred. But be prepared for her to make your life even more of a misery in those situations as she'll (somewhat fairly) blame you, and for her to get even poorer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is possible to change your SSN if you are the victim of fraud (like being claimed on your parents' return as a dependent)www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10064.pdf

But this will wipe out her credit and she'll have to make sure her earnings history gets transferred to the new SSN.

Make sure you file your taxes ASAP each year so you get your refund before she files and it's her return that gets kicked back, not yours.

You can absolutely report her to the IRS or even call the police on her. If she's convicted, she can be disbarred. But be prepared for her to make your life even more of a misery in those situations as she'll (somewhat fairly) blame you, and for her to get even poorer.

What are you talking about ? Who is getting disbarred ???
OMG, all these people need to do is put fraud alerts on their credit and stay away from MIL, make sure has no acess/cannot see any of your bills, important papers so as to get your info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is possible to change your SSN if you are the victim of fraud (like being claimed on your parents' return as a dependent)www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10064.pdf

But this will wipe out her credit and she'll have to make sure her earnings history gets transferred to the new SSN.

Make sure you file your taxes ASAP each year so you get your refund before she files and it's her return that gets kicked back, not yours.

You can absolutely report her to the IRS or even call the police on her. If she's convicted, she can be disbarred. But be prepared for her to make your life even more of a misery in those situations as she'll (somewhat fairly) blame you, and for her to get even poorer.

What are you talking about ? Who is getting disbarred ???
OMG, all these people need to do is put fraud alerts on their credit and stay away from MIL, make sure has no acess/cannot see any of your bills, important papers so as to get your info.

I'm not sure you understand how much of a hassle it is to be claimed fradulently on someone else's taxes, and how easy it is for someone to do this if they know your SSN.
You also may not know how vigilant bar associations are about punishing people who commit crimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is possible to change your SSN if you are the victim of fraud (like being claimed on your parents' return as a dependent)www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10064.pdf

But this will wipe out her credit and she'll have to make sure her earnings history gets transferred to the new SSN.

Make sure you file your taxes ASAP each year so you get your refund before she files and it's her return that gets kicked back, not yours.

You can absolutely report her to the IRS or even call the police on her. If she's convicted, she can be disbarred. But be prepared for her to make your life even more of a misery in those situations as she'll (somewhat fairly) blame you, and for her to get even poorer.

What are you talking about ? Who is getting disbarred ???
OMG, all these people need to do is put fraud alerts on their credit and stay away from MIL, make sure has no acess/cannot see any of your bills, important papers so as to get your info.

I'm not sure you understand how much of a hassle it is to be claimed fradulently on someone else's taxes, and how easy it is for someone to do this if they know your SSN.
You also may not know how vigilant bar associations are about punishing people who commit crimes.

So what is your point? It is a pain for anyone to be a victim of fraud, so short of holding the crazy momma hostage to prevent her from defrauding them, WTF do you suggest they do? Crimes of the future are not punishable by law.
They have to protect their credit and stay away from her.
*sigh*