how to deal with mentally ill MIL legally

[Anonymous]

We have concerns that my MIL will try to implicate us in her ever-unravelling financial disaster, whether through making us responsible for an eventual home care or extended care scenario, or more outright fraud. She is currently getting a reverse mortgage but it will only be a matter of time til that money is exhausted and she reestablishes her pattern of fraud and financial abuse.

Are there lawyers who can counsel us on ways to protect ourselves from her? She regularly scams companies, docotrs, dentists, the IRS, etc, and at any point is involved with several lawsuits. We would like to create a firewall to protect ourselves from her, since it is only a matter of time til she sets her dights on us based on the hints she's been dropping about financial woes.

Would love any advice regarding this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have concerns that my MIL will try to implicate us in her ever-unravelling financial disaster, whether through making us responsible for an eventual home care or extended care scenario, or more outright fraud. She is currently getting a reverse mortgage but it will only be a matter of time til that money is exhausted and she reestablishes her pattern of fraud and financial abuse.

Are there lawyers who can counsel us on ways to protect ourselves from her? She regularly scams companies, docotrs, dentists, the IRS, etc, and at any point is involved with several lawsuits. We would like to create a firewall to protect ourselves from her, since it is only a matter of time til she sets her dights on us based on the hints she's been dropping about financial woes.

Would love any advice regarding this situation.

Sorry, sets her sights on us...

[Anonymous]

Are you in anyway entangled in her financial affairs? Have you cosigned a loan? Do you live somewhere that requires children to provide support or obligates them to the debts of their parents? If the answer to the above is no, then I don't understand the problem.

[Anonymous]

Both of you should put a flag on your credit reports with all three ratings' agencies to require confirmation before someone can take out credit in your name. Odds are she has a record of your spouse's social security number somewhere, and may have gotten access to yours as well at some point.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand? What can she do to you financially? It's not like she can take out a loan with you as co-signers without your permission. If she does, CC companies or creditors aren't going to come after you. If she wants to come live with you or borrow money then you can say no.

[Anonymous]

I'd be worried about credit card fraud or loan fraud, if I were you. My mom did it to me. All she needed was my SS#.

You could try LifeLock or something similar.
http://www.lifelock.com/

[Anonymous]

Yeah, and they try to say irresponsible MILs are not the problem. Sorry to hear, OP. I like the Lifelock idea. GL, seriously.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for the ideas! I am not clear on the rules regarding parental debt. In Pennsylvania, where she resides, they do have those laws. I am not clear on whether the fact we do not live in the state even matters. That is my primary concern. We keep her at arms length, and every time we reestablish a more regular contact, it it s problem and we regret within weeks.

I could totally see her applying for credit using our social security numbers. She still will sometimes claim my wife, who is approaching 40, as a dependent on her taxes. She basically defrauds an alarming % of companies she comes into contact with, and unfortunately... she is a lawyer. Ugh. It is not fun. She is pretty good at creating ridiculous paper trails and just making such a mess that takes a long time to unravel. My wife doesn't want to invite her places b/c she is afraid she will "accidentally" slip and then sue the other relative, store, etc.

We wish we could get a restraining order of a type, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be worried about credit card fraud or loan fraud, if I were you. My mom did it to me. All she needed was my SS#.

You could try LifeLock or something similar.
http://www.lifelock.com/

Yep, Op here, our worst nightmare, confirmed. We live modestly and have awesome credit, ripe for the picking...

[Anonymous]

as others have said, get Lifelock or something similar and also get your credit report and check your credit often. if she is the type of person you describe, she may get a loan using your wife SS#, buy a car, get another credit card and so on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the ideas! I am not clear on the rules regarding parental debt. In Pennsylvania, where she resides, they do have those laws. I am not clear on whether the fact we do not live in the state even matters. That is my primary concern. We keep her at arms length, and every time we reestablish a more regular contact, it it s problem and we regret within weeks.

I could totally see her applying for credit using our social security numbers. She still will sometimes claim my wife, who is approaching 40, as a dependent on her taxes. She basically defrauds an alarming % of companies she comes into contact with, and unfortunately... she is a lawyer. Ugh. It is not fun. She is pretty good at creating ridiculous paper trails and just making such a mess that takes a long time to unravel. My wife doesn't want to invite her places b/c she is afraid she will "accidentally" slip and then sue the other relative, store, etc.

We wish we could get a restraining order of a type, honestly.

If she is regularly committing tax fraud report her to the bar association

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the ideas! I am not clear on the rules regarding parental debt. In Pennsylvania, where she resides, they do have those laws. I am not clear on whether the fact we do not live in the state even matters. That is my primary concern. We keep her at arms length, and every time we reestablish a more regular contact, it it s problem and we regret within weeks.

I could totally see her applying for credit using our social security numbers. She still will sometimes claim my wife, who is approaching 40, as a dependent on her taxes. She basically defrauds an alarming % of companies she comes into contact with, and unfortunately... she is a lawyer. Ugh. It is not fun. She is pretty good at creating ridiculous paper trails and just making such a mess that takes a long time to unravel. My wife doesn't want to invite her places b/c she is afraid she will "accidentally" slip and then sue the other relative, store, etc.

We wish we could get a restraining order of a type, honestly.



Don't you have to provide the SS # of the person you are claiming as a dependent on taxes? Personally I would be talking to a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Being financial irresponsible and dishonest does not make a person mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

I had LifeLock and it doesn't work. We put a fraud watch on our credit. Anytime someone tries to open anything, even us, we get a call from the bank to confirm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had LifeLock and it doesn't work. We put a fraud watch on our credit. Anytime someone tries to open anything, even us, we get a call from the bank to confirm.

. Doesn't that mean it is working? Of course, it flags everything. It can't "know" it is you.