S/O Is Your Marriage Better or Worse Post-Kids?

[Anonymous]

better, but it was always good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Worse. Becoming a parent fully revealed my spouse's lazy ass self.

This is mine too.

[Anonymous]

WORSE WORSE WORSE, spouse turned into a total lazy abusive ass

[Anonymous]

Better. Parenting together has brought us closer.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say. Before the kids there were some infertility issues and one miscarriage, wife and I were both depressed. After the kids were born both of us were over-enjoyed for about two years. Eventually the care of the kids took a toll and I was depressed without realizing it, it didn't help that wife was (and still is) asexual.

On the other hand, I am sure we would have divorced if we didn't have kids.

[Anonymous]

The first year brought out the extremes in both directions--joy/happiness and exhaustion/anger.

We have settled out in a good place, mainly with a deeper appreciation for each other and ability to express it. We are able to set more realistic expectations for our lives now and that makes us happier. Oh and I finally got better at managing my hangry!

[Anonymous]

Better. We had fun together pre-kids, but now that we have more stressors, we more fully appreciate the benefits of having loving, supportive partners. Plus, it's been fun creating a family together.

[Anonymous]

LOVERS --- Before our kids were born - we were in idealistic love. We saw each others without flaws. It was a VERY GOOD relationship. Sex was romantic and very emotional - it was truly making love.

PARENTS --- When the first kid was born and for the next 5 years after that, we became parents first. We were good parents however the romantic relationship took a nosedive. I do not mean married sex which was still happening - I mean being in love with a person. There was caring and concern but we were the least in love.

PARTNERS --- Child number 2 happened and we were in a good marriage. We were still not in the idealistic love of when we had first met. We were solid parents and husband and wife. We were aware of each others shortcomings and knew how to live with that and work efficiently. We were technically better at sex - but there was no fireworks as it was before we had kids.

SOULMATES - Youngest is 10 years old. We fell in love all over again. It is not the idealistic love of when we first met - but much deeper. It is truly being in love with a person inspite of all their flaws. The sex is beyond phenomenal - something that we never thought was possible even when we first met. Sex is technically and emotionally better than before. It is making love + 50 shades of gray - all rolled in one. This phase is amazing because for once we are loved for just who we are.

[Anonymous]

Worse. We are both always cranky and have no time alone. But we love our kids, but I miss when it was just the two of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family is better overall but our marriage is probably slightly worse. Raising kids has brought us together more thoroughly as a couple, and the kids themselves add a whole lot to our lives. But our sex life is much worse than it was pre-kids, and our interactions one-on-one are much more limited.

This is us, except I would say our marriage is moderately worse.

[Anonymous]

Worse. All patience is used on kids, little left for each other.