Telling Family/Friends About Your Situation

[Anonymous]

We told my parents. Not his. And I told my best friend (who also ended up needing to do IVF).

Though I don't see the stigma, and would have told both of our entire families, my husband didn't want the news in the open because
1)We were dealing with male factor
2) We didn't want people feeling sorry for us if it didn't work.

[Anonymous]

I told my sister and my best friend, because I needed to have a couple of people to talk to, husband told his brother for the same reason.

Everyone else was in the dark until we were actually pregnant and pretty well along.

It's a deeply personal decision, and also hugely impacted by the people involved. I didn't want questions, or input, or invasive sharing of information, etc... so we kept it really limited.

[Anonymous]

We've been much more open about it now that we're trying for DC #2. For the first DC I didn't want my employers to know because I didn't want a possible pregnancy to influence decisions about job assignments or promotion.

This time I'm less concerned about career implications and have told my supervisors so they understand why I need time off or can't travel on certain dates.

Family members and close friends know but we don't share certain dates, like the pregnancy test, so we don't get asked questions on those days if we're dealing with bad news. We also have a rule that we'll bring it up if we want to but please don't ask US about it. We'll share when we're ready.

Also, since we're doing PGD, I'm sensitive to the fact that some people have a religious/moral issue with screening embryos. We've made our own personal decision and I'm not interested in getting into a debate with someone about it.

[Anonymous]

I have told my parents and very close family. They are very supportive.
I told a few friends which I regret.
I told a few co-workers since they cover me when I am gone for appointments. I don't regret it much as I had no choice. but they get curious and inquisitive at times. I feel really bad when I have to tell them about "one more round" that I have to do. One more never ends.

[Anonymous]

OP I struggled with this too. I kept it quiet and suffered inside for a long time. Finally just started telling people (which made me feel a LOT better, btw!!!). Initially I told my close friends and my parents. We didn't want to tell the in-laws because we knew they would not understand. However, right before we started IVF we finally told them - they were getting super naggy about kids to the point where I could no longer handle it. Surprisingly, they were super shocked to hear it and it totally shut them up since they really didn't know what to say at that point. We were also struggling with male factor, which I think helped because they took it more personally and therefore kept it quiet.

I am now super open about it and have found it to be liberating. Not only that but I've been able to help so many others which has been fulfilling for me. It took a few years to get to this point but I can definitely say it feels better than not talking about it.

It's a very personal decision OP, but maybe start small and see if it helps you. You shouldn't have to suffer alone. Hugs!!!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for your feedback and encouragement! We will stay mum for now, but will likely open up to at least our parents after round 1. Fingers crossed for us all!