Husbands out there - what could your wife do differently to increase your drive?

[Anonymous]

My drive is perfectly fine: masturbate daily, fantasize over most soccer moms that I meet.

Oh, did you mean my drive for her?
Well she could act like she even cares how she looks, for starters lose the 40 pounds since we started dating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH has not initiated sex for over a year. Is it me? Is it him? I'm not perfect but not that repulsive.

Well, the real question is how often he has rejected sex that you've initiated. My wife could truthfully say that I don't initiate very much, but that's because over 50% of my initiations are rejected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My drive is perfectly fine: masturbate daily, fantasize over most soccer moms that I meet.

Oh, did you mean my drive for her?
Well she could act like she even cares how she looks, for starters lose the 40 pounds since we started dating!

so you would mastrubate, but not have sex with your wife because she has extra 40 lb?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is perfectly fine: masturbate daily, fantasize over most soccer moms that I meet.

Oh, did you mean my drive for her?
Well she could act like she even cares how she looks, for starters lose the 40 pounds since we started dating!

so you would mastrubate, but not have sex with your wife because she has extra 40 lb?

Well my DH gained a bunch of weight and I lost attraction. I told him that if he wanted sex then he'd have to lose weight AND work out. IN the course of a year he lost 50lbs and has arms like Popeye. We have sex about 4xs a week (used to be once a month). His discipline, appearance, and new found confidence are so attractive.

I'm so grateful we have a relationship with honest and open communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is perfectly fine: masturbate daily, fantasize over most soccer moms that I meet.

Oh, did you mean my drive for her?
Well she could act like she even cares how she looks, for starters lose the 40 pounds since we started dating!

so you would mastrubate, but not have sex with your wife because she has extra 40 lb?

NP - uh, yeah if that was the reason I would lose the physical attraction to her. 40 lbs is a lot of extra weight to be carrying

[Anonymous]

Then how come other man find me attractive with the extra 50 lb, but the dh does not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then how come other man find me attractive with the extra 50 lb, but the dh does not?

Because your DH is not into fat chicks. If he were, he would have married one.

[Anonymous]

Men with low drive wives: You're ruining this thread. I don't want to hear about how your wives reject you.

OP I would like to know too! I wear lingerie, I'm thin, fun, we make out a lot... DH and I are best friends, but the sex just isn't there. And no, he's not gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then how come other man find me attractive with the extra 50 lb, but the dh does not?

Because your DH is not into fat chicks. If he were, he would have married one.

+1. It's not PC to say it, but many people need visual stimulation. and 40lbs extra is just killing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men with low drive wives: You're ruining this thread. I don't want to hear about how your wives reject you.

OP I would like to know too! I wear lingerie, I'm thin, fun, we make out a lot... DH and I are best friends, but the sex just isn't there. And no, he's not gay.

You make out a lot but don't have sex? That is so weird. Every time my husband makes out with me he wants to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men with low drive wives: You're ruining this thread. I don't want to hear about how your wives reject you.

OP I would like to know too! I wear lingerie, I'm thin, fun, we make out a lot... DH and I are best friends, but the sex just isn't there. And no, he's not gay.

You make out a lot but don't have sex? That is so weird. Every time my husband makes out with me he wants to do it.

Yes! We love to kiss. We're just chronically tired and are always too tired for sex.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't take that much energy or time. Something else is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men with low drive wives: You're ruining this thread. I don't want to hear about how your wives reject you.

OP I would like to know too! I wear lingerie, I'm thin, fun, we make out a lot... DH and I are best friends, but the sex just isn't there. And no, he's not gay.

You make out a lot but don't have sex? That is so weird. Every time my husband makes out with me he wants to do it.

Yes! We love to kiss. We're just chronically tired and are always too tired for sex.

Ridiculous. Suck it up. Do you want to go to your grave (or even into your dotage) regretting that you didn't sleep enough or that you didn't have enough sex? Sex trumps sleep in our house.

[Anonymous]

Another wife here who is at her wits end with the total lack of sex drive in her husband - despite numerous candid, thoughtful conversations, direct initiations etc...

It's miserable. My birthday request will be for him to PLEASE get checked out medically (which he has not gotten done).

The harm it's doing to our marriage, my self-esteem, and our future is pretty profound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DW who's interested in this question too, OP. So far, I've thrown out all my granny panties and only have matching bra and panty sets; I've stopped burping around him (never farted); I've sent him raunchy pics; and I'm letting my hair get quite long.

Something is seriously wrong with a man who can't get excited over a ready and willing wife.

My husband has two chronic illnesses and a long commute. He's over 50. I'm lucky to get it once a week.