Grown woman who talk like little girls as their regular voice

[Anonymous]

Back when Dr. Drew had that radio show (Love Lines?) where people would call in with their problems, he was famous for guessing which women had been sexually abused as little girls, citing the little-girl voice as a clue.

[Anonymous]

Is it a little girl voice, or is it "vocal fry"?

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/05/employers-look-down-on-women-with-vocal-fry/371811/

The vocal fry thing drives me nuts. Probably as much as valley girl talk annoyed the crap out of my parents back in the day. Painful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I know a 50something who is like this all the time, and somehow when she talks to men it gets a hundred times more exaggerated. I want to scream and run from the room it makes me uncomfortable and is so bizarre.

My sister said this is a sign of childhood sexual trauma. I have no idea if that is true.

+1

It is, unfortunately.

Yup. Arrested development at an age when something traumatic happened, often tied to sexual abuse.

[Anonymous]

Like Michelle Duggar?

[Anonymous]

Like Jackie O?

[Anonymous]

My eye doc and the receptionist at my hair salon sound like this. It's so jarring when they first speak, I never have gotten used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a little girl voice, or is it "vocal fry"?

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/05/employers-look-down-on-women-with-vocal-fry/371811/

The vocal fry thing drives me nuts. Probably as much as valley girl talk annoyed the crap out of my parents back in the day. Painful!

Interesting. I just read and listened to all that, and vocal fry doesn't bother me. It is at a lower register and I think it is so commonplace now, it took me a bit to isolate it.

I too have a problem with the false high pitch voice. A friend of our family speaks like this. I also noticed it was an affectation of older French ladies. It's not babyish, just obviously higher than natural register, and very strange and annoying when I hear it. Do people know they are doing it?

[Anonymous]

I think we're talking about two different things here. I have a friend who has an unintentional baby voice - and she hates it. She sounds this way normally and when mad, excited, etc - it's just her voice and she can't help it. However, I've also met woman who use the baby talk voice affectation and I think Dr. Drew is on to something.

[Anonymous]

Omg, this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Don't know if you ever saw the (otherwise mediocre) film "in a World", with Lake Bell, but she has a really great line about how women should speak like women, and not sexy babies. I'm just reading the book "Executive Presence" right now, and the inappropriate voice thing is one of the things she has found holds women back in succeeding in the workplace. Even Margaret Thatcher apparently worked with a voice coach to bring her voice down an octave.

[Anonymous]

My SIL talks like this, and it drives me nuts. I think it's an affectation, since she also acts dumb and helpless so she doesn't have to do stuff, and she acts clueless so she can say offensive things. She also refers to herself and her daughter, frequently and unironically, as princesses, and constantly discusses her need for "[her name] time."

[Anonymous]

I have a high-pitched voice, which does sound like a little girl's. I notice this when I listen to my own voice nessages - goodness!
Whenever I phone my parents it gets more pronounced, and I also fall into a specific speech pattern, which amuses me even though it is totally unintentional.

Anyway. This is how I am. I would gently suggest to you OP, that the great majority of people are their own natural selves, however strangely they might behave. It's really exhausting and next to impossible to be affected all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I know a 50something who is like this all the time, and somehow when she talks to men it gets a hundred times more exaggerated. I want to scream and run from the room it makes me uncomfortable and is so bizarre.

My sister said this is a sign of childhood sexual trauma. I have no idea if that is true.

+1

It is, unfortunately.

Yup. Arrested development at an age when something traumatic happened, often tied to sexual abuse.

I have a very young voice. And no, I wasn't sexually traumatized in childhood. I have this voice all of the time, and it's so rude when once in a while, someone brings it up or teases me about it. I don't care anymore. But just remember that I can't change it, and actually, now I think I wouldn't even if I could. It's my one huge flaw and I've come to accept it, and it's ok. If people don't like me because of it, that is their problem.

And let me point out that I don't tease or act rudely to people who have flaws that they can't (or would be very difficult) to change, like being very overweight, or having unusual features, etc.

[Anonymous]

I have a "young" voice, but it is not an affectation. It's my voice! Good grief, I can't imagine the effort to put on a voice all of the time. No way.

I apologize for causing so much distress to so many individuals.

[Anonymous]

First lesson we were taught as cheerleaders was to deepen our voices. High pitched voices are grating. Cheer doesn't do this anymore.

Maybe if this woman had to rely on her presentation skills for work she would sound different. A public speaking course, or a firm teacher along the way would have encouraged a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a "young" voice, but it is not an affectation. It's my voice! Good grief, I can't imagine the effort to put on a voice all of the time. No way.

I apologize for causing so much distress to so many individuals.

But you can work to change it, keep your tone level, particularly if you're upset/stressed (to avoid what's perceived as screeching), and take a deep breath before you speak. I have a higher pitched voice as well, but i try to be conscious of my pitch when I need to be taken seriously.