Turn taking skills and how to deal with obsessive and mean-spirited parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised you run into situations like this often enough to need a strategy. I don't think I've ever encountered anything like this with any of my kids.

Her kid is bad. That's why. It has nothing to do with his "special" need.

There but for the grace of God go I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cutting in line is NOT a minor infraction. Teach your kid manners.

Wow, if cutting in line is an equivalent to a major crime according to your "logic", I have to wonder what you consider minor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised you run into situations like this often enough to need a strategy. I don't think I've ever encountered anything like this with any of my kids.

That's because your kids are perfect. Now go pat yourself on the back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised you run into situations like this often enough to need a strategy. I don't think I've ever encountered anything like this with any of my kids.

Her kid is bad. That's why. It has nothing to do with his "special" need.

So why are YOU such a bitch? Just bad, I guess.

[Anonymous]

When did this board turn so nasty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I'm sorry your kid went through that. Line cutting is a pretty minor infraction. That woman sounded unhinged to react like that.

There are jerks in the world, unfortunately.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to think I have a polite kid most of the time. But there's one skill that my ASD 5 yr is lacking from time to time - taking turns. He does on occasion grab a toy or get in front of the line. Whenever I see it, I reprimand him and we go over again and again. We had a situation yesterday when my son cut in front of the line at an ice cream shop and was yelled at by another parent. Even when he apologized, she continued yelling. He stood there and then started yelling himself "do you like when people shout at you like THIS? IN YOUR FACE?" She then started calling him names and this is when I just couldn't take it and called her on her "excellent parenting skills" right in front of her children. Mind you, her children were much older than mine and they looked embarrassed for their mother. She stormed out of there cursing us, poor ice cream shop attendants kept apologizing to US for whatever reason.

So fellow SN parents, how do you deal with parents like that? And yes, DS was reprimanded for cutting in line and yelling because, unlike some people, we don't yell and speak calmly.

Meh, your kid acted like a jerk for saying that. Did he apologize and then go to the end of the line to begin with or did he just sorry in a bratty tone and stay in the front of the line? Where were you? At five, non-ASD kids will try and cut the line, you have to remind them there is a line and to wait in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like to think I have a polite kid most of the time. But there's one skill that my ASD 5 yr is lacking from time to time - taking turns. He does on occasion grab a toy or get in front of the line. Whenever I see it, I reprimand him and we go over again and again. We had a situation yesterday when my son cut in front of the line at an ice cream shop and was yelled at by another parent. Even when he apologized, she continued yelling. He stood there and then started yelling himself "do you like when people shout at you like THIS? IN YOUR FACE?" She then started calling him names and this is when I just couldn't take it and called her on her "excellent parenting skills" right in front of her children. Mind you, her children were much older than mine and they looked embarrassed for their mother. She stormed out of there cursing us, poor ice cream shop attendants kept apologizing to US for whatever reason.

So fellow SN parents, how do you deal with parents like that? And yes, DS was reprimanded for cutting in line and yelling because, unlike some people, we don't yell and speak calmly.

Meh, your kid acted like a jerk for saying that. Did he apologize and then go to the end of the line to begin with or did he just sorry in a bratty tone and stay in the front of the line? Where were you? At five, non-ASD kids will try and cut the line, you have to remind them there is a line and to wait in it.

Do you like when people yell in your face? Do you think that's very mature? I think the kid handled himself quite well, he stood up to a bully. Sure, cutting in line was bad, but he did apologize. Not a lot of adults can do that, let alone kids.

[Anonymous]

So a grown woman/mom got into a verbal altercation with a five yr old over line cutting even after the little kid with ASD apologizes!

Maybe she should start a club with the MD who got into a tug-of-war with a two yr old during library story time over a bin of toys.

The name of the club should be the "Dumb Ass Grownups".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cutting in line is NOT a minor infraction. Teach your kid manners.

How would you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10? Lets say a 10 is punching someone right in the face. Or maybe, since you seem to know, you should set an example of a 10. Assuming cutting in line is not a 10 by your estimation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So a grown woman/mom got into a verbal altercation with a five yr old over line cutting even after the little kid with ASD apologizes!

Maybe she should start a club with the MD who got into a tug-of-war with a two yr old during library story time over a bin of toys.

The name of the club should be the "Dumb Ass Grownups".

HA! Yes the Beverly Hills Library Mom post. Hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised you run into situations like this often enough to need a strategy. I don't think I've ever encountered anything like this with any of my kids.

Her kid is bad. That's why. It has nothing to do with his "special" need.

So why are YOU such a bitch? Just bad, I guess.

And unfortunately this bitch perspective is not isolated to DCUM....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did this board turn so nasty?

Its always been this way when it comes to any remotely complicated problems with kids, unfortunatly.

This whole idea of a pouncing on a behavior as "bad kid" is not just mean, its creepy. It should be of great concern to us all. People who think like this exist everywhere, including our schools.

Is there such a thing as a "bad" kid? Well, its not a term I would use, but sure, there is such a thing as a kid who has really challenging problems. And we know that adult sociopaths _generally_ presented something at least off during their childhood.

SHORT OF THAT, for the love of God, I don't know why on earth people need to be so ready to judge so harshly and without empathy or regard for the true complexity of humans. We are talking about cutting in line. Really, seriously. That is what is being talked about. And the child reacted honestly. GOOD FOR HIM. People need to get a grip. Kids have so many things to teach us adults. This was a teachable moment, but the real person who needed the lesson, the overreacting MOM and everyone who thinks like her, aren't getting schooled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did this board turn so nasty?

Its always been this way when it comes to any remotely complicated problems with kids, unfortunatly.

This whole idea of a pouncing on a behavior as "bad kid" is not just mean, its creepy. It should be of great concern to us all. People who think like this exist everywhere, including our schools.

Is there such a thing as a "bad" kid? Well, its not a term I would use, but sure, there is such a thing as a kid who has really challenging problems. And we know that adult sociopaths _generally_ presented something at least off during their childhood.

SHORT OF THAT, for the love of God, I don't know why on earth people need to be so ready to judge so harshly and without empathy or regard for the true complexity of humans. We are talking about cutting in line. Really, seriously. That is what is being talked about. And the child reacted honestly. GOOD FOR HIM. People need to get a grip. Kids have so many things to teach us adults. This was a teachable moment, but the real person who needed the lesson, the overreacting MOM and everyone who thinks like her, aren't getting schooled.

I would say the learning experience is that some grown-ups are unfair, overreact, and yell. The proper response is to apologize, agree, leave, not yell back. It's not good for a five year old to yell back. That's never a helpful response and, in other circumstances, could get him in much worse trouble.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the overreacting mom needs to see a doctor more than anything else.

OP, your little guy handled the situation well. Kudos to him for sticking up for himself when a grown up is throwing a tantrum over an incident that should have ended with your child apologizing.

Sounds like everyone there including the wack jobs' own kids clearly knew who was being a jerk.