Feeling misunderstood for my career and academic achievements

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You assign yourself too much importance. Nobody cares about your education or career. You already know why you can't get a man. Why are you blaming them for the choices you made?

Thanks for proving the point. VURRY ANGRY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my early 30s but I've noticed some of what OP is talking about towards women 40+. Hell, there are a couple of those posters on DCUM. I think some people just need to feel better than someone. These types of men are feeling past their prime and single, maybe expected to be more successful and married by that point. I think some of them blame women their age for why they aren't happy.

It reminds me of an overweight guy I once dated who loved to reject or talk about overweight women. It was a huge turnoff and clear that he was projecting his own insecurities onto others. I think he felt good feeling superior to someone else.

None of this has anything to do with men or gender. Lots of overweight women don't want to date overweight guys. Women also change what they want - lots look for a guy with money or prestige.

And as to your bolded part - this is exactly what OP is doing here. A woman blaming men her age for why she isn't happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my early 30s but I've noticed some of what OP is talking about towards women 40+. Hell, there are a couple of those posters on DCUM. I think some people just need to feel better than someone. These types of men are feeling past their prime and single, maybe expected to be more successful and married by that point. I think some of them blame women their age for why they aren't happy.

It reminds me of an overweight guy I once dated who loved to reject or talk about overweight women. It was a huge turnoff and clear that he was projecting his own insecurities onto others. I think he felt good feeling superior to someone else.

This was my initial reaction as well. I think some married men and women do it too, probably some form of anger that they followed the "right" path and still wound up a little bit old, a little bit bored. I say this as a little bit old, a little bit bored married woman myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You assign yourself too much importance. Nobody cares about your education or career. You already know why you can't get a man. Why are you blaming them for the choices you made?

Pretty much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a male, in my mid-30s. I have no quarrel with unmarried , "professional" women. What are you running into, specifically? Maybe there is a generational issue?

PP here,

I too came from a working-class background. I grew up in a small town in the south, went to mediocre K-12 schools and didn't graduate from college until recently (gradually worked my way through it over the years). And I just went to an average state school.

I make a modest living, working in IT. I often feel often feel like I am regarded dismissively by people in DC. So many people in this city came from well-off backgrounds, went to expensive, private K-12s and have degrees from prestigious schools, and are making six figures.

There is such a lack of perspective here. I have found that many women are put-off by a man who they perceive as occupying a lower socioeconomic status than themselves. I'm probably going to move somewhere else, where people are more down-to-earth.

I've honestly forgotten as why I started to post this, but there you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a male, in my mid-30s. I have no quarrel with unmarried , "professional" women. What are you running into, specifically? Maybe there is a generational issue?

PP here,

I too came from a working-class background. I grew up in a small town in the south, went to mediocre K-12 schools and didn't graduate from college until recently (gradually worked my way through it over the years). And I just went to an average state school.

I make a modest living, working in IT. I often feel often feel like I am regarded dismissively by people in DC. So many people in this city came from well-off backgrounds, went to expensive, private K-12s and have degrees from prestigious schools, and are making six figures.

There is such a lack of perspective here. I have found that many women are put-off by a man who they perceive as occupying a lower socioeconomic status than themselves. I'm probably going to move somewhere else, where people are more down-to-earth.

I've honestly forgotten as why I started to post this, but there you are

The anger I sometimes experience from men my own age, early 40s, is sort of them taking their revenge out on the women from their teens and 20s and 30s who wouldn't give them the time of day when they were younger and not financially successful. So, now when I meet men my age who are like me, self-made, never married, no kids, they seem to treat me as if I personally was the young rich snooty woman in his 20s who rejected them cruelly for not having anything. "HaHa! You didn't think I was good enough in my 20s without money. What makes you think I will want you now?" These men seem to be quite bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: These men seem to be quite bitter.

None of them are bitter. No one wants a used BMW with 150,000 miles on the odometer. We want ones that haven't left the showroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: These men seem to be quite bitter.

None of them are bitter. No one wants a used BMW with 150,000 miles on the odometer. We want ones that haven't left the showroom.

Don't know why you have a senseof entitlement when it comes to women. And you wondered why women never seemed interested in you.

[Anonymous]

PP again, that's an interesting observation. What do they say to you?

I don't feel bitter, but it is a source of anxiety. I am realistic enough to accept that a woman's focus on a man's socioeconomic status is roughly analogous to a man's focus on a woman's looks and youth. Both sexes are simply attracted to that which leads to reproductive success. That's just how we are wired.

I have heard men say, and I share this opinion somewhat, that women 18-29 can be picky and capricious. That's understandable. At this age, women are at their prime of sexual desirability. They intuitively know that they have currency, and they don't want to spend that currency prematurely.

A man who is single into his 40s is likely to suffer from social anxieties or some other issue that affects how he perceives and treats you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a male, in my mid-30s. I have no quarrel with unmarried , "professional" women. What are you running into, specifically? Maybe there is a generational issue?

PP here,

I too came from a working-class background. I grew up in a small town in the south, went to mediocre K-12 schools and didn't graduate from college until recently (gradually worked my way through it over the years). And I just went to an average state school.

I make a modest living, working in IT. I often feel often feel like I am regarded dismissively by people in DC. So many people in this city came from well-off backgrounds, went to expensive, private K-12s and have degrees from prestigious schools, and are making six figures.

There is such a lack of perspective here. I have found that many women are put-off by a man who they perceive as occupying a lower socioeconomic status than themselves. I'm probably going to move somewhere else, where people are more down-to-earth.

I've honestly forgotten as why I started to post this, but there you are

The anger I sometimes experience from men my own age, early 40s, is sort of them taking their revenge out on the women from their teens and 20s and 30s who wouldn't give them the time of day when they were younger and not financially successful. So, now when I meet men my age who are like me, self-made, never married, no kids, they seem to treat me as if I personally was the young rich snooty woman in his 20s who rejected them cruelly for not having anything. "HaHa! You didn't think I was good enough in my 20s without money. What makes you think I will want you now?" These men seem to be quite bitter.

Where are you encountering these men? Online dating, IRL?

Either way, I would just say to steer clear when you see the first sign of this kind of entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: These men seem to be quite bitter.

None of them are bitter. No one wants a used BMW with 150,000 miles on the odometer. We want ones that haven't left the showroom.

Don't know why you have a senseof entitlement when it comes to women. And you wondered why women never seemed interested in you.

That was someone else.

I don't make ad hominem attacks; even anonymously, it's pointless.

[Anonymous]

I'm mid 40's and if I were single to be honest I would just be looking for some fun companionship with an attractive, intelligent, interesting woman. I wouldn't want someone raising kids or looking to have kids, but otherwise age wouldn't be an issue.

So you sound like someone I might have an interest in, but another man who was looking for a spouse to have children with or be a stepparent for his kids might not be as interested. But why would any such man be hostile toward you? More to the point, why would there be a "type" of man like this, where you encounter this behavior routinely? Can you give us a specific example?

[Anonymous]

There is no reason you can't have kids in your early 40s, especially in this area.

[Anonymous]

Attractive, accomplished women in their twenties can be quite cruel towards men they don't perceive as "worthy". As a result for many men, their twenties are a terrible time for dating. Think back on the guys you were having fun with as you were climbing the corporate ladder, and I'm willing to bet that it is a very different sort of guy than the one you are interested in now. Successful men often find that this dynamic shifts in their thirties, and suddenly women who wouldn't give them the time of day, are lining up to date them. People in general can only take so much rejection before they become bitter. I'm not condoning this behavior, but that's your explanation in a nut shell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attractive, accomplished women in their twenties can be quite cruel towards men they don't perceive as "worthy". As a result for many men, their twenties are a terrible time for dating. Think back on the guys you were having fun with as you were climbing the corporate ladder, and I'm willing to bet that it is a very different sort of guy than the one you are interested in now. Successful men often find that this dynamic shifts in their thirties, and suddenly women who wouldn't give them the time of day, are lining up to date them. People in general can only take so much rejection before they become bitter. I'm not condoning this behavior, but that's your explanation in a nut shell.

This occurs to men who seek a trophy type in their 20s. There are LOTS of single women in their 20s just looking for a nice guy with financial independence. They are happy living in Fairfax or Brookland instead of Chevy Chase/Wisconsin Ave. Most of my guy friends had a blast dating in their 20s (and 30s) and many of them weren't close to six figures. They had confidence and courage to approach women.