When you realize you shouldn't have had kids, what do you do?
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Anonymous
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You sound depressing OP. The first 3 years are tough, especially for 1st time mom, from feeding, sleeping to teething, etc. When you think you are done with those, here comes the terrible 2 that requires a lot of your attention, boundary, discipline and emotional need. This drains a lot of your energy. At the same time, you don't know if you are doing good job as a parent and has no experience of child's development or expectation. Plus all the available overwhelmed information out there. I feel like I lost my life some times too but every time I look at DD, she is just so adorable that I couldn't even imagine not seeing her everyday. And yes, no one is better than a mom to take care of their kid unless you are abusing. You need to relax and think that you are doing the best you can and she is loved, she is growing well. Or if you can, have someone to baby sit her for a few days and go for a mini vacation. I will sure find out how much you love her by not seeing during that time.
If you can't really help yourself, I also vote for therapy/counselling. Hope you feel better OP |
Anonymous
| I just came out of a nasty bout of post partum depression, and I simply adore my 2 year old now. But it took therapy, group therapy, meds, and a wonderful supportive family to help. I also felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and even went on vacation solo, and considered staying there alone. Please get help. This is tough stuff, and we all need a little bit of help sometimes. |
Anonymous
| Man idk. I don't know how serious you are but for me, it's like 45% that I shouldn't have had kids. Or at least stuck at one. I love them to death but I'm just not a very patient, giving person by nature. I'm more selfish than I thought and have a low tolerance level for responsibility. I just keep plugging along though because what else can you do? Take it day by day, hour by hour if you have to. |
Anonymous
| Nanny here- My Boss hired me and now works 60+ hrs a week to avoid coming home. I'm paid extremely well and I've been with the family 8 years. I think we all understand what's going on, and she's doing the best she can- By hiring someone else to essentially do the work and she can be with the kids an hour a day (if that) or on weekends. I respect my Boss for doing the best she can. She told me kids aren't her thing. |
Anonymous
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You get help, as PPs have said--in the form of both therapy and child care, as much of both as you can afford.
Also, know that it is not always going to be as hard as it is right now. There are plenty of good parents out there who are not big fans of the baby/toddler years--they're hard and draining for everyone involved. You might find that you really love being a parent once your child is older, more independent, and more her own person. I know several people who found that they actually really became friends with their children as they got older, and much preferred that time to the early years. (And in contrast, there are people who love babies and toddlers and probably seem to you to be great parents now who are really going to struggle and wonder if they should have gone down this path once teenage years roll around--everyone handles things differently. And we all need help, some of the time.) Good luck, and hang in there! |
Anonymous
| How about getting all of the therapy you can now. Read and research how to raise kids without stress. There are tricks making it through the terrible twos. If the therapy doesn't work, then talk to your husband about leaving or hiring someone to do the primary care hours. Remember at age 3 DC can go to preschool!!! |
Anonymous
Get help immediately. |
Anonymous
| I think I know you. If I do, try to get your husband to help more and try to be more laid back. |
Anonymous
| Start saving up. Plenty of great boarding schools right in the DC metro area. |
Anonymous
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Just realize there are others of you/us out there, struggling to raise tiny humans in the best way we can... for some of us, it doesn't come naturally, we have to actively ENGAGE our kids and work on building our relationship with them... for others, being a parent is easy (or at least appears to be easy looking in from the outside).
It helps tremendously to find another parent who is in the same boat. I found one through work and another in my neighborhood, we rely on each other for happy hours or just a few hrs away to get our sanity back. good luck OP. |
Anonymous
Poor child 
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Anonymous
Bad advice here. How can a therapist make someone want to be a parent? No trained + educational professional can wave a magic wand and instantly convince someone that they want to parent a child. Fairy Dust only exists in Fairy Tales. OP, I am so sorry you are going through this. After two yrs. of age, I am sure to realize this it must be truly heart-wrenching. 
My best advice to you right now would be to talk to your family, starting w/your spouse. If your parents are still alive and involved in your life, I would let them know how you feel as well. This is a very important family matter that needs to be addressed within the family. Good luck. |
Anonymous
You such it up, put on your big girl pants, get some help and grow up. |
Anonymous
Bull. Therapists can help someone, anyone, think through a situation. An unbiased objective person can bring balance to what is probably some powerful emotions' driving OP's thoughts. |
Anonymous
| Keeping stuff in the family is often very toxic. Yes - talk to your family. Get support from them if they can help. BUT outside unbiased help is essential. Good luck OP! |