Need your honest take on this situation with my sister in law

[Anonymous]

I would ask for the amount you originally agreed upon.

I took a vacation with my cousin and her daughter. Since I was staying with her and she was driving and I was eating her groceries, I paid for gas and we evenly split the hotel and food cost, even though her daughter was with us, too. Daughter was around six at the time.

Next trip to visit her came around, and at the last minute, her husband who lives in another state (they married because my cousin got pregnant), decides to join us. Well, my cousin still thought we would have the same arrangement where I would split the costs in half. She even made reservations, and we ate at a very expensive restaurant, where check comes at the table and they have no money to pay. It was over $100. I paid it, and then made certain I got the money back from here, even though I had to wait until she visited her parents. She probably got the money from them.

I don't know why she thought it was acceptable for me to subsidize her family vacation with her husband and daughter, or that I would want to stay in a hotel and sleep in one bed, while she and her husband slept in another bed in the same room.

[Anonymous]

She's a user.

[Anonymous]

Can't stand people like your SIL. You are right, but just check it off as "information" you now have. If she wants to take a trip again, tell her to book it and agree to split the cost.

[Anonymous]

You should be paying the same ratio of hotel expenses you originally agreed to: you at 3/4 and her at 1/4.

Originally: $2,000 total, you $1500 her $500

Now: $1,400 total, you $1,050, her $350.

[Anonymous]

You are right here...She is making out like a bandit and getting away w/living on Easy Street by paying you less money.

The tricky thing is how to approach this w/out ruining your relationship.

Now that would be another thread.

Possibly one for the Family Relationships section......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's a greedy bitch. All you can do now is let it go. But never go with her again.

I agree. She should've given you $500.

[Anonymous]

I think you have way different ideas about how much to spend on a hotel room. I have stayed in some pretty awful rooms for $200/night in a hot area in high season. That is not a vacation for me. If someone else were paying for it, I would love a $350 nt room (which is about standard for a nice place in a resort area). Did you all stay in the same suite? I cant image that you could find a suite big enough for two families for $135 night in high season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with all pp's.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a greedy bitch. All you can do now is let it go. But never go with her again.

I agree. She should've given you $500.

+1

[Anonymous]

Did you agreed that she'd pay what she thinks is fair or to pay $500? Do you see the difference? Get your own place next time. I hate sharing expenses with others.

[Anonymous]

Was it just you and SIL in the room? Was she doing you a favor by coming with you or was the trip as much for her as for you?

[Anonymous]

I mean, $2,000 for what seems to be 5 days 4 nights does seem a little steep...

[Anonymous]

Hi OP here, this was a fun trip (antiques road trip) that we both wanted to go on equally. We do have different standards for hotel stays but I said I would do the booking and asked her what her budget was she said 500, I said fine, I will pay the balance. Now if we were splitting it even steven I of course would have expected her to pay less but the amount she is paying is so disproportionate with what I am paying, that I was frankly taken aback.

I though it took a lot of nerve for her to even suggest it, I never would. She is still making out like a bandit, given that we stayed in 5 star hotels (mostly at my expense) but agreed that it was my doing. In general I am a very generous person, even bought her a gift at the start of the trip "just because". I don't want to ruin our relationship but at the same time am having a hard time just shrugging it off just on principle alone.

[Anonymous]

She was wrong to do that. She's not being a mensch.
You WERE wrong to say "Oh pay whatever you want". You WOULD BE wrong to hold this grudge.

[Anonymous]

Money brings out the worst in people. Years ago someone I was very good friends with who is a multi millionaire and lives in a 8 million dollar home got into an argument with me in a restaurant over my suggestion that we split the bill when I had a lobster club and she had a burger. I had put up with her stinginess for years but that was a final straw as she made such a big deal about it, she was draped in an outfit that probably cost 3k and here she was fuming over a 12.00 price differential. That was the final straw and was ugly to watch.

When its money she spends on herself there were no limits but she had a real hangup about God forbid handing out a few dollars to anyone, even those she cared about. It was a deplorable trait and even worst when someone has an excess of money.

I just have no tolerance and OP you are totally right to feel the way you do, she took full advantage of the discount you got and used it as an opportunity to even less than the 25% she was only paying to begin with. Talk about nerve!!! I think you need to stand your ground and tell her how you feel, but if her relationship means something, in the end maybe agree to disagree and know that in the future, you might want to consider each staying in your own hotels with your own bills.