25 year age gap relationship, man is over 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that people fall in love with whomever they fall in love. Only 1% of the population marries with a more than 20 year age gap. Besides the obvious visual youth and beauty of the younger woman and the money and security of the older man, wouldn't it make a man approaching his sixties feel even older to be with a woman 25 years younger? When strangers mistake his new wife for his daughter instead of his peer and spouse, won't that make him feel even worse about his age? What compatibility or shared life goals, values, and experiences could there possibly be between a man born in 1959 and a woman born in 1985?

The Donald Sterling interview on CNN showed a man in his 80s, crying at the thought that his mistress, 51 years younger than he, actually cared about him and not his money. Why would he think that she wasn't interested in the money?

My DH is only 12 years older than me and people sometimes mistake me for his daughter. It's just something you roll with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 19, I fell in love with a man who was 27 years older, after college I moved away. I saw him again when I was 27, and again at age 33, and I was still in love. At 27 I told him how I felt and he laughed at me. At 33 I restated my feelings and he started to come around to the idea, but not really, common sense took priority in his mind.

I am 49 and I still speak to him daily, he never married. He loves my four kids and has met DH. DH does not know what my feelings were. Kinda sorta like the Thornbirds, a love that will never go away. However, both of us (myself and the older gentleman) are extremely level headed and nothing would ever happen. In hindsight, we should have ignored all the concerns about creating a scandal.

If my child finds themselves in such a situation, I would encourage them to think, but in the end, follow their hearts.

Your older man was only 8 years older than you, same generation. That is not the same as a man old enough to be your father. It is not really like the Thornbirds, because the priest took a vow of celibacy and was committed to the Church. Your man is not married and has been free to commit to you. He chooses not to. Maybe he is gay like Richard Chamberlain?

You misread it. He was 27 years OLDER than she was, not just 8 years older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 19, I fell in love with a man who was 27 years older, after college I moved away. I saw him again when I was 27, and again at age 33, and I was still in love. At 27 I told him how I felt and he laughed at me. At 33 I restated my feelings and he started to come around to the idea, but not really, common sense took priority in his mind.

I am 49 and I still speak to him daily, he never married. He loves my four kids and has met DH. DH does not know what my feelings were. Kinda sorta like the Thornbirds, a love that will never go away. However, both of us (myself and the older gentleman) are extremely level headed and nothing would ever happen. In hindsight, we should have ignored all the concerns about creating a scandal.

If my child finds themselves in such a situation, I would encourage them to think, but in the end, follow their hearts.

Your older man was only 8 years older than you, same generation. That is not the same as a man old enough to be your father. It is not really like the Thornbirds, because the priest took a vow of celibacy and was committed to the Church. Your man is not married and has been free to commit to you. He chooses not to. Maybe he is gay like Richard Chamberlain?

You misread it. He was 27 years OLDER than she was, not just 8 years older.

Yes, he was (is) 27 years older. He is now in his 70s. He is not gay.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why anybody would even care to discuss this BS. Against May-December relationships? Don't get into one. Problem solved

[Anonymous]

Health issue start in the late 40's and go down from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I know someone who is in her early 60's, married to someone who is in his mid 80's. He has had numerous health issues, beginning in his 70's, and now has Alzheimer's and requires around the clock care. She said that she really wishes she had given more thought to what things would be like as they got older. Her friends are starting to retire and travel with their husbands, which is something she will never be able to do.

would you want your daughter to marry someone 20 years older???

get a grip, it is only for the money that women marry older men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I know someone who is in her early 60's, married to someone who is in his mid 80's. He has had numerous health issues, beginning in his 70's, and now has Alzheimer's and requires around the clock care. She said that she really wishes she had given more thought to what things would be like as they got older. Her friends are starting to retire and travel with their husbands, which is something she will never be able to do.

would you want your daughter to marry someone 20 years older???

get a grip, it is only for the money that women marry older men.

If she loved him, yes.

[Anonymous]

My husband is 17 years older than me. Twenty years gap is not THAT huge to be "just for the money."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 17 years older than me. Twenty years gap is not THAT huge to be "just for the money."

50/67

60/77

Again, my neighbor used to brag how her retired husband - 15 years her senior - was home, which meant they never dealt with childcare.

And then he had the stroke.

Even if you marry for money, the money can go in a heartbeat. My mother spent close to $1.5m over 6 years caring for my father at home. all gone . . .

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, marry someone close to your age. Have an affair with a younger person.

[Anonymous]

As long as your boobs are bigger than his, it's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH recently shared an experience he had where an older lady flirted with him. He said he felt awkward because she was older. Later he found out she wasn't older, she is a year younger than he is. He looks at me every day and he considers us peers and since I'm much younger, he sees himself reflected back in me. In short, he doesn't realize he is his age, he thinks he's my age. It doesn't make sense. It's totally delusional. In fact, I am maturing and I find it upsetting that my DH would not even consider sleeping with a woman his own age. (I mean if we weren't together, of course.) It's kind of disgusting the way men can screw young women until they die but women stop being seen as sexual creatures after a certain age. Sorry to go off topic.

All of this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 22 years older than I am. We are the love of each other's lives. Happily married for almost 15 years, with three kids. He makes much more money than I do, but he's also much more senior in his career. And I've made over $200,000 since I was 27, so money's never been on my mind. You may be shocked to hear this, but we just love working together, playing together, and raising a family together. I wish you the same for your family.

Was he married to someone else when you started working together and "playing" together? I assume yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH recently shared an experience he had where an older lady flirted with him. He said he felt awkward because she was older. Later he found out she wasn't older, she is a year younger than he is. He looks at me every day and he considers us peers and since I'm much younger, he sees himself reflected back in me. In short, he doesn't realize he is his age, he thinks he's my age. It doesn't make sense. It's totally delusional. In fact, I am maturing and I find it upsetting that my DH would not even consider sleeping with a woman his own age. (I mean if we weren't together, of course.) It's kind of disgusting the way men can screw young women until they die but women stop being seen as sexual creatures after a certain age. Sorry to go off topic.

You don't sound too keen on your DH. Maybe this is a case in point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH recently shared an experience he had where an older lady flirted with him. He said he felt awkward because she was older. Later he found out she wasn't older, she is a year younger than he is. He looks at me every day and he considers us peers and since I'm much younger, he sees himself reflected back in me. In short, he doesn't realize he is his age, he thinks he's my age. It doesn't make sense. It's totally delusional. In fact, I am maturing and I find it upsetting that my DH would not even consider sleeping with a woman his own age. (I mean if we weren't together, of course.) It's kind of disgusting the way men can screw young women until they die but women stop being seen as sexual creatures after a certain age. Sorry to go off topic.

You don't sound too keen on your DH. Maybe this is a case in point?

I think she's seen the light!

Sure, you feel special when some older man, established man takes an interest in you . . . until years later you're changing his diaper and wiping up his dribble.